Avengers Short Shots
by ijustcanteven
Summary: Shorts focusing mainly on Natasha Romanoff. Some Songfics, prompts welcome. Ships so far include: Romanogers (heavy), WinterWidow (heavy), IronWidow (Trace Amounts)
1. Something Stupid

AN: Song is Something Stupid by Frank and Nancy Sinatra.

Steve was more nervous than when he first met Red Skull, than when he was trying to get Bucky back the first second third and fourth time, than when Hydra fell than when he went up against Loki than when he first became Captian America and why? A pretty girl. Well, maybe that was an understatement. It _was_ Natasha he was nervously walking up to. Bucky and Wanda were hiding behind the couch like a couple of children, their eyes poking over the back to watch as Steve approached Natasha at the kitchen counter.

Steve gulped as he tried to lean on the fridge only to have his hand slip making him hit his head on the door. Bucky rubbed his face while Wanda giggled. Natasha looked up from her book taking a sip of her coffee with a smile. "You okay there Cap?"

"Uh, yeah, just fine, super healing and all," He laughed nervously and cleared his throat. He glanced behind Natasha's back to see Bucky and Wanda kneeling over the back of the couch motioning for him to ask her while wordlessly yelling at him. "So… Natasha."

"So…" Natasha looked up at him, an eyebrow quirked with a smirk. "Steve?"

"I was uh wondering if you'd like to uh," He cleared his throat again motion over and over with his hand. "You know, if you're hungry some time or thirsty or wanna go out or something and like, you know do something that we could do it together!" He smiled then paled as she raised an eyebrow, behind her Bucky facepalming. "No! Not like _that_ I mean unless you wanna do that I mean no. No fondling. Not that we won't do what. Unless you want to but I think we should-"

"I'd love to go out with you, Steve." Natasha smiled, standing and finally showing mercy on him.

"What?" He gulped. "I mean, thats great!" He cleared his throat. "That's cool. It'll be fun, really." He beamed as Wanda and Bucky soundlessly cheered behind them.

Natasha walked over and pecked him on the cheek. "Pick me up from my floor at six tonight, Soldier, don't be late." She smiled at his dorky blushing face. "By the way," She called. "Wanda, you should be training not eavesdropping, and James, shouldn't you be meditating about now?"

"Yes, ma'am!" They both yelled running off be where they were sposed to, clapping Steve on the back as they ran.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?" Steve yelled banging into Bucky's floor to fall dramatically face first onto his face on the floor. Bucky and Wanda, who were spending the night in on their couch, looked at each other then down at him.

"Well, punk," He leaned forward. "Quite a shit ton actually, why?"

"More importantly, aren't you supposed to be on your date with Natasha right now?" Wanda asked. "Not being more dramatic than I was when I was a teen girl?"

"I fucked it up," Steve mumbled into the carpet.

"Not surprising," Bucky sighed. "What'd you do this time? Somehow suggest sex like earlier?"

"Worst," He whispered.

"Told her she looked fat in that dress?" Wanda asked. "Made her get the salad?"

"Worse," He groaned.

"Checked out the waitress?" Bucky guessed.

"WORSE!" He covered his head with his hands.

"You didn't tell her you to love her did you?" Wanda winced at the silence that came. Bucky shook his head and leaned back.

"You stupid, stupid, punk-ass bitch," Bucky said shaking his head. "You told her you to love her."

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?"

"You flew too close to the sun," Bucky shook his head. "And then you threw yourself into a volcano."

"Why are you not with her now?" Wanda asked. "I mean-"

"I told her that I love her, Wanda," He lamented sitting up. "I ruined it. The look of panic and then amusement in her eyes when I told her was enough to kill me." He shook his head. "I scared her away."

"Well, how was the rest of the date?" Wanda asked.

"Perfect!" He yelled. "It was amazing, really. We went to the forties themed bar and had a few drinks, most of the time we just danced. She taught me a few moves and she kept smiling and laughing. We both had a great time, even if I did fall a couple of times."

"You're Captain America," Bucky laughed. "I've seen you jump down a ten story building and land on your feet, but dancing you fall on your face?"

"Yes," He nodded, "That's beside the point. Afterward, we went to this small dinner she likes and got some hamburgers and beers-"

"Natasha's favorite," Wanda nodded. "What went wrong?"

"It was all just so perfect and she was so pretty and smiling and laughing and-" He grunted putting his head in his hands. "Next thing I know it slips out of my mouth and we're sitting on my bike in silence while I take her home."

"That must have been an awkward walk to her door," Bucky shook her head.

"I didn't walk her to her door," Steve muttered.

"You didn't walk your date to the front door?" Bucky asked sitting up looking like he had just been stood up. "Your mother and I raised you better than that," He scolded. "You go up there and say you're sorry and beg that woman for another chance, or so help me you will die a virgin."

"I'm not a virgin," He snapped.

"Then go get her before she dies alone," Bucky leaned forward. "You're Captian America, you could get any girl, and she's hot enough to get anyone she wants. But emotionally, she isn't really-"

"Trusting," Wanda jumped in. "She is too so scared to love anyone especially herself. It's amazing she agreed to go on a _real_ date with anyone let alone you. She's trigger shy, so go say sorry for shooting before you got the all clear."

Bucky looked at Wanda with a face of clear worship. "You really need to get yourself the right Dame, punk, it's worth it all." Wanda winked at him making Bucky get up, dragging Steve to his feet pushing him to and out the door. "Now get out, you're ruining out date night too."

He knocked on her door, stepping back as he heard her softly padding feet come to the door. Friday's muffled voice announcing it as him was followed by the locks she had installed being un-done and the door opening to revile Natasha in her bike shorts and sleep tank.

"Steve?"

"I just, I needed to apologize for tonight." He spoke quickly. " _I know,_ I ruined it by saying… those words and I'm sorry," He said quickly. "It's just _I stand in line until you think you have the time To spend an evening with me."_

"If you would have asked sooner, I would have said yes," Natasha told him.

"I just got so nervous _And if we go someplace to dance_ because you love to dance so, of course, I'd take you out to dance _I know that there's a chance You won't be leaving with me."_

"Why wouldn't I leave with you?" Natasha snapped. "I went with you so why wouldn't I leave with you? I had a great time, Steve."

"I know, I know," He shook his head. " _Then afterward we drop into a quiet little place And have a drink or two And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid Like "I love you"."_

"You didn't, exactly, ruin the night… just kinda-"

" _I can see it in your eyes that you despise the same old lies You heard the night before,_ on your mission yesterday," He sighed. " _And though it's just a line to you, for me it's true And never seemed so right before."_

Natasha smiled softly at him. "Steve."

" _I practice every day to find some clever lines to say To make the meaning come through," He rambled. "But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late And I'm alone with you_ , you know when everyone's asleep or out but then _The time is right, your perfume fills my head, the stars get red and, oh, the night's so blue And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid Like "I love you"."_

Natasha stopped his rambling with a hand on his arm. "I was just gonna make some coffee. You, want to come in? Have some and make up for not walking me to my room?"

Steve smiled, standing dumbfounded in his spot before an unseen force pushed his back and made him walk in. Natasha peaked her head out as he walked in. "Thanks, Wanda," She whispered before closing the door.

Wanda jumped as Bucky snuck up behind her, grabbing her sides. "I thought you were grabbing the lub-"

"Shhh, I got it," She looked around the corner to Natasha's closed door. "Just, got sidetracked, let's go back to your room." She smiled both of them running off.


	2. Scatter

AN: This is just a funny idea to me. I like to imagine them as best friends, constantly getting themselves in trouble that Fury doesn't know about. I also love the trope of someone yelling 'scatter' before everyone runs. Also, if you get the refrence in this you're a real one.

" _I can't believe you keep going with me,"_ Hill said over the cell. " _Whatever, I'm not questioning it. You almost ready?"_

Natasha rolled her eyes as she put on her cherry red lipstick. "Almost." She popped her lips together and picked the phone back up, taking it off of speaker. "And don't question it," She let out a chuckle. "I'll stop going."

This little tradition of theirs had started a little over two months ago. Saturday nights at Avengers Tower were surprisingly quiet. Steve always sat by random windows all over the tower trying to sketch the skyline or whatever he spied. Tony and Bruce spent their nights in the lab working on whatever was their new invention or passing interest. Thor normally went back to Asgard for a few days every weekend leaving Avengers tower pretty much empty. For a while, Natasha would go out to a bar, read a new book or get in a good night workout. That was until Hill told her what she did over the weekends.

Apparently, Hill had a cover she used as a young teen before she got into Shield. Robin Scherbatsky. Natasha remembered her saying that the cover Maria used was supposed to be a Canadian. As a teen it worked just great, getting her into every club and rave she wanted. Slowly her name changed over the years, making her now go as Robin Sparkles. A show name really, her fake ID had her real fake birth name.

Lucky for both Hill and Natasha, Robin Sparkles was on a list for the hottest rave in town. The party was always at some run down abandoned factory on the outskirts of town. Natasha had expressed her boredom over the weekends in passing just once when Hill pulled her aside and told her about in hush about her weekend outings.

" _You wouldn't dare,"_ Hill snickered. " _Anyway, I'm leaving to that address I texted you. After that, it's like a mile or two till we get to the warehouse for the night."_

"Yeah," Natasha nodded. "I'm leaving soon too. Left my purse in the common area." With a push of a button, the elevator descended.

" _Ohh, not afraid that Tony would go through it?"_ Hill teased. " _I once caught him going through mine. He couldn't walk right for two weeks."_

"Normally I would be," Natasha said pulling down her black crop top so it showed more of her chest. "But it's Saturday. They'll all be busy. Tony was talking about how he wanted to try a new… I don't know… thing with his suit and Bruce offered to help. They should be busy all night."

" _Good, always good them being busy,"_ Hill breathed a laugh. " _Oh, this ass just cut me off. Speaking of sweet ass. What about Thor and Steve?"_

"Thor left yesterday morning," Natasha checked out herself in the mirror like doors of the elevator door. "And I told Steve just how _great_ the sky looked from the gym's top window."

" _Smart smart, oh what you wearing this time?"_ Hill asked. " _I'm going with some booty shorts."_

"Smart," Natasha laughed walking out of the elevator. "I went with pants I got at this place called Hot Topic? Lila told me all about it." Her pants were black with no seam, but shoelaces going up from her heels to where her pockets would have been.

" _No pencil skirt this time?"_ Hill laughed.

Natasha laughed as she walked into the common area, her purse her only objective. "Are you kidding?" She dug through her purse to find her fake ID for rave night. "Last time I wore a skirt when we went out I ended up with," Why did something feel off in the room. "Two men trying to get up it."

" _Like you weren't loving it?"_ Hill scoffed.

"Oh, cause I just love having four pairs of hands up my…" She turned to leave only to see the sight before her. Thor, Banner, Steve, and a grinning Tony all sat before her with a deck of cards and freshly opened beers before them. One was unopened in a free spot. "Damnit."

" _What's wrong?"_ Hill asked slightly panicked. " _Your cover isn't blown is it?"_

"In a way?" Natasha answered as smirks grew on everyone.

" _Don't you dare rat me out, Romanoff,"_ Hill snapped. " _You make it to the rendezvous place. You got an hour. I'm pregaming without you."_

With that, her line went dead. With a sigh, Natasha closed her phone and walked over to the group of men smirking at her. "What are all of you doing here? Don't you have inventions to make that'll blow up the world? Or a sky to draw?"

"We thought you felt left out on the weekends," Steve smirked. "We were just about to have Jarvis call you down for a game night."

"Looks like Red's got games of her own to play," Tony snicked. "Tell me Little Red, where were those four hands?"

"None of your business," She snapped shoving her ID and a few dollars into her top. "Thanks for the offer, but I'm going out." She started to walk to the elevator again.

"Where are you going?" Tony asked as they all got up and hurried to stop her.

"Out," Natasha answered.

"Jarvis hold the elevator," Tony ordered.

Natasha sighed and rolled her eyes. "Tony let me go."

"Not dressed like that young lady," Tony crossed his arms. Natasha was worried she would roll her eyes so hard they'd sprain.

"Nice try, Stark," She crossed her arms. "But last time I checked my dad was dead, not you."

"Dark," Bruce muttered.

"Jarvis," Natasha turned back around. "Elevator."

"Jarvis hold," Tony overrode.

"We're not saying you can't go out, just wondering where you're going dressed like-" Steve began.

"Some corner market discounted whore that had Hottopic vomit on her," Tony looked her up and down. "I mean, not that I'm complaining about the skimpy skin-tight outfit, just wish I was more a part of it is all."

Natasha sighed deeply, counting backward from ten in her mind. "I'm going out to a rave."

"Where is this rave?" Tony asked.

"I don't know yet," She answered with a tight-lipped smile. "I'll find out in another hour or so."

"Who are you going with?" Steve asked.

"No one," Natasha lied.

"Then who was on the phone?" Thor asked. "You were speaking on a phone right?"

"No one," Natasha felt herself becoming homicidal.

"Jarvis who was Natasha on the phone with last?" Tony asked.

"Agent Hill, sir," He answered.

"Hill?" They all asked.

"I'm done with this," Natasha turned around. "Jarvis, command code Override_Starks_Dumb_Ass_122315."

"Override accepted," Jarvis answered opening the elevator.

Natasha stepped into it backward with a dark smile. "See you in a few hours. Don't have too much fun without me."

"It's 10 am," Steve said cleaning breakfast. "Shouldn't she be home by now?"

"Not sure, Wonderboy," Stark said from his computer. "We never really pay Natalie much attention unless she's dressed to kill." He looked up from the screen. "And that could mean any number out outfits."

"I do hope Lady of Spiders arrives home soon," Thor said thoughtfully, two pop tarts in hand. "Else wise we will need to go and find her."

"I'm sure she and Hill are all right," Bruce tried to sooth them as he prepared his tea. "I mean, even if she isn't with Hill, it's Natasha Romanoff we're talking about. I'm sure she's fine. Probably just crashed at Hill's."

"I'm not so sur-" The elevator dinged, interrupting Steve as he spoke. Out walked two females who looked like they'd been to hell and back. Both of their makeup was streaming and smeared all over their face as well as what looked like some mud and blood. Natasha was now in a tight, Zebra print plastic dress wearing a bear fur pimp jacket holding a purse that she hadn't had to leave. She also had on two different heels.

Hill's hair was light blue, for some reason, she was wearing Natasha's tube top and a pair of leather pants instead of her booty shorts. She had on flipflops and was holding a Lui Vaton purse which she also did not have at the beginning of the night.

"What the fuck happened to you two?" Stark asked as they hobbled over to the kitchen island.

"Food," Hill groaned resting her head on the counter top.

"Coffee," Natasha rasped doing the same. "Haven't slept since four am yesterday."

"This is going to be such a fun story," Tony said hopping onto a countertop after closing his laptop. "Whenever I came home looking like that I had the _best_ nights."

"It was terrible," Maria whined as Steve started some toast for them.

"It wasn't too bad," Natasha's scratchy voice spoke.

"What's with your voice?" Bruce asked.

Natasha sat up, tilting her head back to show a bruise. "Punch in the throat about four am."

"I am near perishing to hear your tale of last night," Thor gaped.

The girls shared a look as Bruce sat down cups of coffee in front of them.

"It all started out normal, right?" Hill began. "We met up at some dive bar on the outskirts of town like normal. Flirted with people a little. Drank a lot and then I got the message of where the rave was. It was only like a three-mile walk right? Nothing. So we pay our tab and start walking….

 _Natasha and Hill laughed as they walked, only a few blocks from the rave, as a car pulled up next to them. "Hey, you two, how much for a night?"_

" _We're walking, not working," Natasha answered._

" _Not even for two grand each?"_

 _Nat and Hill stopped walking, instead, looking at one another then back at the man. "What we talking here?" Hill asked. "Full on? Hand? Over the clothes?"_

"You guys hooked?" Steve yelled making each the hungover woman cringe.

" _Full on, two on one male."_

" _Lilly?" Hill asked Natasha._

" _No thanks," She shrugged. "You go for it though if you want."_

 _Hill leaned down shaking her head. "Sorry, we're off tonight and just wanna have a girls night. I hear we had some of our good girls working about four miles south of here though."_

 _He leaned his head out slightly, a large scar over his left eye. "Thanks, ladies, see you around another night." With that he sped to the corner, turning due south._

 _The two women laughed. "I love messing with them," Hill laughed._

" _Yeah, Fury doesn't pay us_ that _bad." Natasha agreed._

"After that we were doing alright, having a normal night out," Hill explained. "Until _someone_ went to the bathroom."

" _Robin, Robin, Robin," Natasha stalked up to Maria, her eyes dilated._

" _What up Lilly," Maria asked._

" _So you know how people like to do coke in the bathroom?"_

"You did coke?" Stark asked overly impressed. "Shit Natasha."

" _You didn't Lilly!"_

" _Some dumb coke head laughed her gram into my face," Natasha said panicking only slightly. "I got as much off as I could but I'm_ very _certain I have some in my system."_

" _Shit," Hill finished her shot and turned around to the exit, dragging Natasha behind her. "Let's get going."_

" _This must be what Steve feels like all the time," Natasha smiled. "I feel strong."_

" _Yeah, well, you're gonna be feeling like the Hulk if we don't get you to the med wing fast." They stopped dropping to their knees as an explosion went off._

" _THIS IS THE POLICE EVERYONE HANDS UP!" The cop in the hole yelled._

" _SCATTER!" Some teen screamed._

" _Fucking shit," Hill muttered Natasha in a sprint behind her._

"Cops ended up getting us in the raid," Natasha explained. "We didn't want to hurt them by fighting back."

" _This is bad," Hill cursed in the back of the cop car as she shimmied her body thought her arms. "Furry will kill us if we go in. Not to mention how Stark will taunt us."_

" _They said we were prostitutes," Natasha grunted as she undid her handcuffs. "I'm starting to think we need to rethink our fashion."_

" _Agreed," Hill nodded getting her cuffs off as well. "Ready to run?"_

"After that, we sprinted a few miles away," Hill said biting into her toast. "But they knew what we looked like so we traded outfits with some girls."

" _God I love those pants," A street worker said offhandedly at Hill and Natasha panted for breath at a street corner._

" _You want 'em?" Natasha asked._

" _Oh, I mean-"_

" _No, trade me," Natasha stood up. "Your dress for my outfit?"_

" _But why?" Her friend and coworker asked._

" _My friend Robin and I just got spotted by… a bad guy. He'll be looking for us, we need to get out quick." Natasha explained._

" _I don't know, I don't want any trouble," The blonde said stepping back. "Especially if it was Snake Eye, he's a bad man ya know?"_

" _Snake eye?" Hill asked._

" _Yeah, the guy that drives round in that like the limo looking car?" Her friend explained. "He's got this really big ugly as fuck scar over his eye. Goes by Snake Eye."_

" _Rumor is he's big into human trafficking," The blond said rubbing her hands. "He's picked up countless of our girls only for us to never see them again, ya know?"_

" _It's not him," Hill said quickly. "Some other pimp trying to trick us. We just gotta get back to ours in the next hour or our asses are good as dead."_

 _The women nodded in solidarity. "You can have my dress, and you, take my pants okay?" They went into an alley and changed together, the two hookers walking out as Hill and Natasha in their new clothes running through the corners._

"After that, we were lost for a few blocks," Natasha explained. "We had to find our cars to get back home. Turns out we wondered a few miles in our run from the cops. We probably would have made it back if _someone_ didn't need to steal a pair of flip-flops."

"My feet were killing me!" Marian yelled back.

 _The two were running down back alleys again as panting as the police sirens blared in the distance._

" _You're an agent of Sheild and you get caught shoplifting?" Natasha screamed at Hill behind her._

" _Oh, I'm sorry it's not like I'm still drunk as shit and you're high on coke or anything!"_

" _I only did a little coke!" Natasha snapped kicking open a basement window to a seemingly abandoned building. "And when the fuck did you dye your hair blue?"_

" _What?" Hill looked at her hair as Natasha slithered into the basement. "Well, when normal people go to the bathroom at a rave they get their hairspray dyed by strangers, not high on coke!" Hill worked on getting herself into the basement. "Did you hear me… oh shit." She sighed holding up her hands next to Natasha as Snake Eye and his goons pointed their guns at them._

" _Well," Snake Eye hissed. "Would you look what good graces slipped into out lap tonight boys? Two new beauties to sell. Put them with the others."_

"You were almost sold into sex slavery?" Bruce asked wide-eyed? "What the hell?"

"After that, we got shoved into a room with like five other girls, including Misty and Buttercup. The girls that traded clothes with us." Natasha explained.

"Nice girls, really," Hill shrugged. "We're going for lunch with them next week."

"We ended up beating the shit out of the guards and trying to sneak the girls out," Natasha explained. "But we weren't fully sober at the time and ended up stealing some of their goods."

"Hence the purses and pimp jacket?" Tony asked more than amused.

The girls nodded, full of shame. "Yeah."

"The cops showed up, like right as we were escaping," Hill groaned.

" _We're almost out now," Natasha whispered to the girls behind them. They snuck out the back door to be blinded by police car lights. All the women froze as the cops began to yell commands at them, everything went to chaos as Snake Eye and his men opened fire on the police who returned it._

" _SCATTER!" Natasha screeched sending all the women sprinting in different directions._

"Hill and I were split up and trying to find one another took a few hours after that," Natasha explained.

"We never did make it back to our car," Hill shook her head. "We walked here."

"Does this happen every day you two go out?" Steve asked.

Hill and Nat looked at one another with a smirk. "Most of them." They answered together.

"Can I go out with you next time?" Tony asked.

"No." They answered.

The elevator opened to reveal Furry standing just waiting to rip them a new asshole.

"SCATTER!" Tony screamed throwing down a mug of coffee, shattering it on the floor as everyone scrambled out the commons area.


	3. Don't You Remember

Song: Don't you Remember by Adele

A/N

You might have read a story called "Past Transgressions" By Leprechaun's Fairy. Great author on here and a great story. Their story was my inspiration for this and one other fic I wrote that will be on this. Basically, I love drama things with happy endings and the idea of Nat and Buck getting back together like this again is so fucking cute to me. Anyway, enjoy.

"And he just showed up?" Stark clarified for the hundredth time.

They all watched from Fury's office as Bucky sat to a magnetic chair in a cube of plexiglass.

"Yes," Steve said again.

"Has anyone talked to him?" Natasha asked trying to fain as little interest as she could.

"I have," Steve shrugged. "He said he was getting his memories back."

At this Natasha perked up. "Finally," She walked up to Steve. "Let me talk to him."

"Is that really the best idea?" Banner asked. "I mean, he could still be volatile."

"Why do you wanna talk to him?" Clint asked. "You can't just go in there and be like "You shot me twice."

"I'm not going to say that," Natasha snapped.

"What are you going to do then?" Hill inquired.

"Some cognitive recalbralitation," Natasha smirked.

"He could never turn down a dame," Steve shrugged. "Just don't hurt him."

"We'll be watching," Fury said from the head of the table. "On the monitors." Natasha nodded and started to walk out. "And Romanoff, no speaking Russian."

 _The Winter Soldier would be going back to Hydra. He was being transported as she stood there, waiting to see him one last time in the main hall. She wanted answers. Why was he leaving? What changed? Was it a mission? Had they been found out?_

" _James," She whispered stopping his stomping. All he did was furrow his eyebrows at her. "I'm sorry." She had tears in her eyes. He had always hated to see her cry. "_ When will I see you again?"

 _James said nothing just shifted his rifle and continued down the hallway with a look of disdain._

Natasha stomped down the hall to his holding cell with a look of disdain. She was angry he was back. She was angry he was remembering and went to Steve instead of her. She was angry that she was angry. And she was angry at herself for the show she was about to put on in front of her team, who she knew, would have their attention solely on this screen.

She came to a halt in front of him. "James." The door slide shut and locked behind her.

His head turned to the side as if he was seeing someone he had almost forgotten from his school days. His face was even more confused as she flipped the magnet for his chair off.

"Romanoff," Fury's warning came over the com system.

She just ignored him. "Do you know me?"

James rolled his shoulders but stayed sitting looking at her through a squint. "Should I?"

Should he? Should he? Just like that Natasha snapped punching him so hard in the face his head snapped back against the back of his chair.

"Natasha!" Steve yelled.

" _You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said_ ," Natasha hissed as she began pacing in front of him. James coughed slightly and held the bridge of his nose, where she had hit. " _No final kiss to seal anything."_

"Natasha,"Clint's voice came over the com. "Leave. Now."

She let out a growl as she walked to the panel on the door. She could hear agents running down the hall to extract her. Instead, she popped the panel punching in codes and overrides until the door became locked from the inside.

"Natasha," Hill's voice this time. "Open the door now. I have some people who wanna talk with you."

She ignored them and spun back to James who looked at her in pain from the punch. " _I had no idea of the state we were in."_ She paced again. "Why did you leave me? I thought… I mean, _I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness, and a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head."_

She stopped pacing and fell into the seat in front of his. " _But don't you remember, don't you remember?"_

"What is it I'm supposed to remember?" James asked carefully.

"Nat, we're going to extract you by force if you don't-" Steve started.

" _The reason you loved me before,"_ Natasha begged.

There was shoveling over the com. "Never mind Red you stay there as long as you want," Stark said sounding like he was fighting off Steve.

 __" _Baby please remember me once more,"_ Natasha begged. " _When was the last time you thought of me?"_

His face scrunched up. "I shot you, on that bridge." Natasha nodded. "And I shot you in… Odessa?"

Natasha shook her head standing up to pace again. " _Have_ they _completely erased me from your memories?"_ She shook her head harder putting her hands on her head. " _I often think about where I went wrong."_

"I… I'm starting to remember," James started. "But _the more I do, the less I know."_

 __" _I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness and a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,"_ Natasha repeated. " _But But don't you remember, don't you remember?"_ She sat back down in the seat, desperation on her face. " _The reason you loved me before."_ She grabbed his hands in hers making him stare at them. " _Baby please remember me once more."_

She shook her head as she felt tears come to her eyes. "I remember when you left. _I gave you the space so you could breathe. I kept my distance so you would be free, in hope that you find the missing piece, to bring you back to me."_ Tears fell from her eyes. She moved her head away from his view, but sadly in the line of the camera to her team. She gasped a breath and looked at him, tears going down her cheeks. " _Why don't you remember, don't you remember? The reason you loved me before."_ Her voice broke as she begged. " _Baby please remember me once more."_

His brow knitted again. She shook her head as she got up, going to doors panel again, she started to type in the codes to open it.

" _When will I see you again?"_ James asked now standing in front of his seat.

"What?" She gasped turning to him.

"I always have hated seeing you cry, my little Widow," He smirked the same smirk he had given her for three years of her life. "Come on, Talia, I'm nothing to cry over."

"James," She breathed as she sprinted to him. She fell into him, taking both of them to their knees but not breaking their hug. "I thought I lost you all over again."

"They took me," He said into her hair. "They took you from me. I'm so sorry Natalia. I'm back." He rocked them back and forth. "I remember you." ****

"Did anyone know about this?" Fury asked quietly.

Everyone looked to Clint, who just shrugged. "She's told me that there was someone who trained her in the Red Room that she fell in love with and who loved her. She made it sound more like he died than left." He shrugged again. "Never told me who it was."

Steve just nodded. "I mean, they sure as hell fit together."

"Language," Both James and Natasha called over the com.

"Ops," Tony smirked. "My hand was on the button."


	4. Ghost

Song: Ghost by Badflower

Natasha walked coldly around her hotel room in France. She walked to the little desk and reorganized the letters she had written, making sure that each envelope was full and had a name.

 _Thor, Bruce, Pepper, Hill, Fury, Stark, Clint, Steve_

She nodded and put them back down laying them out slightly. Reaching over to the other side of the table she went through her important documents. Her will, bank information and emergency contact information all laid out plain and easy for whoever found her. She sighed deeply seeing the DNR she had made sure was on the top page. She nodded to herself again as she walked to the mini fridge.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she swallowed thinking the top shelf Vodka she had bought years ago. It had cost a pretty penny, but she saw no real need for it anymore. She walked over and put the class by her letters, nice red lip prints on it. It was a pretty little set up she had made for herself that was true.

Taking a deep breath she looked around her room once more. Her bag was packed nicely on her bed, which was made of course. The room itself was clean as could be as well, she had taken time to steal some of the cleaning ladies supplies and deep clean.

" _I tried it once before but I didn't get too far,"_ She spoke to herself as she fluffed her pillows. Pointless really, it wasn't like she was going to be using them anytime soon. She must have been stalling. Strange, she hadn't expected to want to stall. " _I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart."_

She smoothed her hands over the bed sheet, getting all the wrinkles out before she left. " _And all I really wanted was someone to give a little fuck."_ She shook her head, her voice breaking as she spoke. " _But I waited there forever and nobody even looked up."_

" _I tried it once before and I think I mighta messed up,_ " She explained to the room, or who or whatever was listening. She had met a few Gods, who was to say there were none. " _I struggled with the veins and I guess I didn't bleed enough."_ She shrugged, now making sure the stock paintings on the walls were straight. " _But maybe I'm alive 'cause I didn't really wanna die, But nothing very special ever happens in my life."_ She shook her head laughing. That was a flat lie and she knew it. Plenty of special and exciting events had happened in her life.

" _I tried it like before and this time I made a deep cut,"_ She went on telling the story of her second attempt to the empty room. It had happened just after the fall of Sheild when all the world hated her with a fiery passion. " _I thought about my friends and the way I didn't give enough, "_ Her friends. She was leaving them once again or at least trying to leave them. She would try to leave them. But they didn't care now, did they? All off on their own things, own little projects. Maybe that was unfair, but she had been sure that at least one of them had heard her crying in her bedroom the week before. And the week before that. And the week before that. So why was she here, in an empty room, about to do what she was planning?

" _And I shoulda told my_ them _, I love you', like a good_ one," She sniffed into her drink. Sighing she let her head roll back and her eyes close, her body relaxing more and more with every second. " _But this life is overwhelming and I'm ready for the next one."_

She stood up, fluffing the pillow until she walked over to the bathroom, opening the door slowly. It was beyond clean, she would let a child eat off the floor she had cleaned. She walked over to the sink where the scented candles flickered. She pulled out the blade from her pocket and flipped it around. " _Take the blade away from me."_ Her hand splayed open. " _I am a freak."_ Her face went into a contortion of pain. " _I am afraid that All the blood escaping me won't end the pain,"_ Tears came to her eyes. " _And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me. I died to be the white ghost Of the_ wo _man that I was meant to be, yeah."_

She sighed deeply, picking the knife back up from the sink. It was the first gift Clint had ever given her. It had ended countless lives in its time in her possession. It had just one more life to take. She took a deep sigh and sat down into the bathtub, stopping the drain. A tear rolled down her throat as she cut open her thighs. She staggered back as the blood began to fill the tub. She took a deep breath as she grabbed to the bottle of pills that she had set on the toilet next to her. A deep breath and she slowed them down on her own as well. A handful of medications she could barely pronounce the names of.

" _I tried it once again and I think I might black out,"_ She laughed rolling her head. " _I shoulda left a_ better _letter but I had nothing to write about."_ Her eyes closed as she looked down at what was before her. " _My blood is all around me, I get dizzy if I stand up."_ Her heart began to rise in a primal mode of survival. " _The cutting part was easy but regretting it is so fucked."_

 __She rolled her head as she heard pounding on her front door. It grew louder and louder as the seconds passed by. She closed her eyes as it became muffled to herself. Her pain would end soon, only it didn't. Tears rolled down her face as she heard the door being kicked open. She looked up to see Steve bolting to the bathroom door, banding on it just as he did the front door. "Natasha?" He screamed. "Open the fucking door, Natasha."

She smiled faintly to herself, if she had had any strength she would have scolded him for cursing in front of a lady that way.

She didn't flinch as the door was once again kicked open, Steve standing in the opening, panting. "Natalia… dear God." He stood frozen at the sight before him. She lay there, covered in her own blood, growing paler and paler in the bathroom.

"What did you do, Nat?" He asked running to her, pulling any towels he could to himself. "Damnit, what did you do?" He bent down, lifting her out of the tub and onto the floor, covering himself in her blood. "Fuck, stay with me, Nat, please." He used the towels and a good bit of his super strength to slow the bleeding. "Help will be here soon, okay, the Avengers are coming, you're gonna be okay, okay?" Tears were in his eyes. "Stay with me got it, Nat?"

" _Yeah, take the blade away from me,_ " She mumbled to him, her head light and stomach clenching. She groaned and rolled her head slightly, knocking over empty pill bottle.

"Shit you took stuff too?" Steve asked hitting the bottle with his elbow to make it roll over so he could see the label. There was no way in hell he was taking pressure off her wounds. "Blood thinners, Nat?" He voice cracked. "What else did you take? What else did you do to yourself?"

" _I am a freak, I am afraid that,"_ She coughed weakly. Steve was relieved that no blood was coming from her lungs, at least it seemed it. " _All the blood escaping me won't end the pain And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me."_

"Nat? That's crazy okay? Crazy." He grunted in her face, the blood still flowing from her legs. "Shit, I think you hit an artery, Tasha. Why did you do this?"

" _I died to be the white ghost Of the_ wo _man that I was meant to be,"_ Her head became more and light, unable to focus on all that was around her.

"Just," He shook his head. "Just try and calm down okay? Take deep breaths, I can hear the sirens down the street help is on its way. Just hang on."

" _I tried it once again and I think I went too far,"_ Natasha lulled her head back and forth across the bathtub.

Steve bent over her as the hotel shook, the roar of a jet's engine deafened them. "Hear that Nat?" He panted, his adrenaline still on overdrive. "That means the others are here right?" He smiled weakly at her seeing how she struggled to hold on to her lucidity. "Nat that means everyone is here to help. There's Tony, and Maria and I bet your best buddies Clint came to see you too." There was a loud crack of thunder followed by a flash of lightning. "And look, it sounds like Thor came too!"

" _I cut a little deeper and,"_ She wheezed unable to keep her mind straight. " _And the pressure stopped my heart."_

"No, no, Tasha doesn't say that," Steve moved so his knees were outside of her hers. "I got you, alright, I got you." He turned as he heard running down the hall. "Guys!" He screamed. "Guys we're in here!" He shook his head, loosening his hands just to put more pressure back on. "I'm so sorry, Natasha this is our fault. We should have checked on you when we heard you crying. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He turned behind himself again as the stomping grew louder. "GUYS!"

" _I couldn't tell my mother that I love her, I'm a bad_ one," Her eyes fluttered as her head finally went limp to look at him dazed.

"I got you, Nat, just you wait," He turned again. "Guys!"

"Steve?" Clint yelled running behind them. "Nat?"

"Bathroom!" Steve yelled back. "Hurry!"

The three Avengers slide to a fast stop at the door one at a time. "Jesus fucking Christ." Clint gasped going pale.

"Holy fuck there's just so much blood…" Tony took a step back to take a deep breath.

"Where the fuck are the EMTs?" Steve asked turning to them, his arms, hands, legs, and shirt covered now in her blood. "We're losing her damnit."

"Lady Maria is bringing them with her, they were but a mile behind us," Thor answered.

"Nat?" Clint yelled kneeling beside her. "Nat, you hear me?"

Tony ran back into the room. "They're down the hall."

" _This life is overwhelming,"_ Natasha whispered so lowly only Steve could hear. " _And I'm ready for the next one."_


	5. Chapter 5 Natasha IS the Mother

AN: Insperation from a fan art of a magazine floating around.

"We're going out," Tony yelled as he dragged Peter and himself from the lab. "Kid and I need a break."

"Busy inventing things?" Steve asked from the kitchen, sipping on some tea.

"Yeah, kids pretty smart," Tony answered walking over.

Peter beamed that the prase. "Thanks, Mr. Stark."

"No problem," He nodded. "Now go change."

"You're having him go in costume?" Bruce asked confused.

"I'm seen with superheroes all the time," Tony shrugged. "Never seen with Peter Parker."

"Just make sure he gets something healthy to eat?" Steve said holding a coffee up by the hallway.

"We're going out to eat?" Natasha asked walking into the room grabbing the coffee.

"Not unless you wanna go with Stark and Parker," Clint shivered at the idea as he stole Steve's tea.

"It could be fun!" Peter yelled excitedly running back into the room in his suit. "We all should go out!"

"No," The answers came.

"Steve and I have a lunch date across town," Natasha explained.

"I have one more experiment in the lab I'm working on and Clint already climbed back into the vents," Bruce shrugged standing up. "With Cap's tea."

Steve looked down where he had placed his drink then back up at the ceiling vent. "That little-"

"Langue," Natasha smirked.

"Alright, let's go, kid," Tony said leading the way. "Here throw on this cap and hoodie."

"Good thinking," Peter nodded slipping it on. "No one will know I'm really Spider-Man."

It was now the end of the day and all the Avengers were sitting in the common area. Pepper was on her work laptop on the couch with Tony resting his back on her legs. He and Peter were working on a science fair experiment for the boy on the coffee table. Bruce was sitting with them acting as the documenter for them, recording some parts but mostly taking notes and pictures. Clint was hanging in a hammock of Peter's webs over the couch reading a tabloid while Steve sat in a love chair drawing a picture of Peter for fun.

"Jarvis," Natasha called everyone's attention as she walked into the room. "Turn on channel 20 news."

Tony and Peter perked up. "Uh maybe watching the TV while we're working on this experiment isn't the best idea Miss. Romanoff?" Peter tried.

"Yeah Red, we're trying focus here," Tony snapped.

"Jarvis," Natasha barked sitting down on the arm of Steve's chair. "Now."

" _Who is the Spider-Man,"_ The reporter asked everyone. " _While we may never know his true identity we may have just uncovered one part of the webs he has woven over himself."_

"Tony," Peper asked in a dangerous voice looking up from her work. "What exactly did you two do today?"

"Nothing," Tony shrugged innocently. "We went out for lunch for a-" He cleared his throat. "For a bit."

" _Mr. Stark, Mr. Stark!"_ The screen showed him and Peter earlier that day, food in their hands as they walked to the car. " _Do you or Spider-Man have anything to say about the most recent Hydra attack in Yemen?"_

" _Uh.."_ Peter started.

" _We're working on gathering more intel before we make any moves,"_ Tony answered putting a hand on Peter's shoulder and pushing him forward. " _The last think Shield and any of the Avengers want is for more people to be needlessly hurt."_

Peter nodded. " _Right, what he said."_

" _Nice going kid,"_ Tony said scacasticly. " _Just keep moving, son, you don't have to talk to them."_

" _Son?"_ The reporter jumped on the term of endearment. " _Mr. Stark, is Spider-Man your son?"_

" _I… uh.."_ Peter's large eyes grew and shrank nervously.

" _My what?"_ Tony asked stopping at the absurdity of the question.

" _Is Spider-Man your son?"_ She asked again. " _And who is his mother? Pepper Potts?"_

" _Uhh,"_ Peter panicked. " _What's going on?"_

" _Yeah what is going on?"_ Tony asked the reporter.

" _Spiderman is your son, then who is his mother?"_ She now declared. " _Is it Miss. Potts, who you are known to have an on and off again relationship or could it possibly be the Black Widow?"_

Peter's eyes widen over his entire face. " _Mr. Stark we should really get back to Happy now."_

Tony, however, was stopped dead in his own musing, his hand rubbing his chin. " _Pepper and I have had our rough spots, but we're doing well now. However, if Spider-Man were my son then it would make the most sense for Widow to be his mother. I mean, both spiders for one, Also they have similar abilities with flexibility and agility."_ He nodded to himself then turned with a boyish smile to the reporter. " _If Spiderman is my son then the Black Widow is one hundred percent his mother."_

"Jarvis pause," Bruce ordered, all gaping faces turning to Tony.

"You are the biggest idiot I know," Pepper said in awe, shaking her head as Peter banged his on the table top.

"You do know I'm not even capable of having children," Natasha asked him. "The Red Room made it so I couldn't. There is no way I could have any kids, let alone Peter."

Steve laughed. "Jarvis keep playing!"

The screen now showed a clip from a few hours ago on a different street in town. Steve and Natasha could be seen walking together smiling. " _Black Widow! Captain America!"_ The reporter yelled.

"Oh god, what did you do?" Pepper asked.

" _What do you want?"_ Natasha asked them crossing her arms over her chest and frowning.

Steve bumped her shoulder, trying to tell her to be nice. " _How has the presence of Spider-Man in the Avengers strained your romantic relationship?"_

" _Strained our relationship?"_ Steve asked with a confused laugh. " _Not at all. He's a great kid to have on our team and a very talented superhero."_

" _Black Widow is it true that Spider-Man is yours and Tony Starks' love child?"_ The reporter asked.

" _What?"_ Natasha all but yelled at the reporter.

" _That's… impossible."_ Steve furrowed his eyebrows.

" _Tony Stark himself has confirmed that he is Spider-Man's father and you his mother,"_ The reporter falsely informed. " _What do you have to say about this?"_

" _He said what now?"_ Steve yelled.

" _Cap please,"_ Natasha held a hand up to him, then had the faintest of a smirk before she went on. " _I'm surprised that Anthony has finally come out with this, especially how he behaved during my pregnancy."_

"You didn't," Clint said with a wide smile.

"Keep watching," Natasha smiled.

" _And how did he behave during the pregnancy?"_

Natasha shook her head, trying to make herself look as distraught as possible. " _Horribly. He said I was just a one-time thing. He was off with woman after women while I stayed home throwing up from morning sickness."_

" _That's terrible,"_ The reporter said in outrage.

" _You don't know the half of it,"_ Natasha shook her head. " _He wasn't even in the delivery room. Then he insisted on hiding our son away, for his safety of course. But then we found out he inherited my physical abilities and Anthony's mental aptitude. Now he has my son out there fighting crime and risking his life! Tell me, what mother would want her son fighting the fights she does?"_

" _None,"_ The reporter shook her head.

Natasha began to well up fake tears. " _I became an Avenger to protect my son and try to keep a decent relationship with his father. Now my boy is an Avenger too, because of his father no less. How am I supposed to protect my son now?"_

" _Uh, we should get going,"_ Steve said grabbing her shoulder and walking away. " _This is a… rough subject for her."_

" _You heard it here first,"_ The reporter said to the camera, now back in the studio. " _Tony Stark and The Black Widow are mother and father to Spider-Man and apparently, are not on good terms. What will this mean for the future of the Avengers is unknown."_

Jarvis then turned off the TV while silence captured the room.

"Don't fuck with me, Stark," Natasha smirked at him. "Or I'll ruin you."

Pepper's work phone instantly began ringing. "Damn it." She stood up. "You two are in so much trouble when I come back." She walked away as she answered the phone. "Yes hello… I know… It's all.."

"That was amazing," Clint laughed. "Jarvis save a copy of that broadcast for me!"


	6. Brownies

Natasha stretched her back as she walked into the Tower's Kitchen. She didn't think she'd be able to do dorm style living when she first moved in with them a few years back, but it had been more than a blessing. They all had plenty of things for her to steal, like sweaters and PJ pants, but most importantly she enjoyed everyone's company, especially the New Avengers.

The boys and the New Avengers we all on a mission as she padded her way into the kitchen in Tony's slippers. Sam's pajama pants were tied tight to her waist and over her personal nighttime tank she wore a shirt she had just stolen from Steve on her way to the kitchen. She had just finished her own mission, which was why she wasn't with the others, and while she very nearly missed them this free time was something she craved.

All she wanted at that moment was something sweet, chocolate to be more exact, which is why she found a sick delight at the plate of fudge brownies she had found. It was a delight because they were exactly what she was craving, it was sick because right over the plastic wrap was sprawled in sharp, chicken scratch "STARK'S DO NOT TOUCH OR EAT THAT MEANS YOU RED".

Smirking she undid the plastic wrap, she intended to only eat one but the first bite was so suddenly sweet, two brownies might end up okay.

"Thank God we're home," Sam shook his head as they all huddled in the elevator.

"It was quite a mission," Wanda nodded. "And the same goes for being back."

"What?" Vision asked her. "I don't understand."

"I was hit by a bus today," She snapped sleepily. "I might have a concussion."

Bruce sighed. "I'll check when we get to the commons."

"Nat should have gotten home today too," Steve smiled, still full of energy. "I wonder if she's awake or asleep."

"What, "Tony smirked. "Wanna see if you'll get lucky."

Steve rolled his eyes as everyone snickered. "Stark-"

"Whatever," Stark went to the door as the elevator slowed. "I have some brownies waiting for me."

The elevator opened to the sound of an ear-splitting scream, everyone immediately readied their weapons, as they were still in uniform, ready for an attack. They were confused when a mad cackle erupted through the room and the sound of _Without Me_ by Eminem blared.

They stepped into the commons to find the only light coming from the large flat screen with a "Fail Compilation" playing. On the couch sat Natasha, laughing hysterically to people falling flat on their asses.

"Nat?"

She jumped up, sending bags of chips and their contents flying everywhere, letting out a high pitched screech as she spun on them holding up a banana like a gun. "Hands up I'm assassin trained Sheild!"

"Friday," Bruce spoke as they all relaxed. "Lights up, TV paused please music off."

The lights went up and the grainy video froze showing a mess of a Black Widow. The tee she had stolen from Steve that afternoon was now rolled and bunched around her head, keeping her hair up and out of her face in a messy attempt at a headband. Cheeto and other chip dust covered her tank and pants as well as chunks of actual full chips. Food was strewn all over the floor, couch and coffee table.

"Oh," She burst into a fit of giggles. "Hey, guys!" She smiled chirpily. "I missed ya."

"You did?" Sam asked.

"No, no, NO!" Stark ran in form the kitchen, an empty plate in hand. "Natasha, tell me you didn't eat any of my brownies."

"I-" She blew a raspberry laugh. "I didn't eat the brownies."

"Then where are they?" He asked leaning on the back of the couch.

"They were sooooo good," She laughed.

"Shit," He shook his head crossing over to her. "Friday, scan her vitals now."

"Is she okay?" Steve asked stepping forward, putting his shield back on his back.

"Depends," Stark turned to her. "How many brownies did you eat?"

Her eyes widened. "Starky! You're home!" She laughed, letting herself fall forward till he caught her hugging him. "I missed you."

"She's dying," Wanda muttered, her head throbbing.

"Natasha," He pushed her back to her feet, keeping his hands on her shoulders. "How many did you eat?"

"I only meant to have one," She giggled. "But they were so good." She smiled largely.

"You ate all of them?" His eyes widened and jaw dropped.

"Soowy," She stuck out her bottom lip.

"Why, what did she do?" Bruce asked. "What did she eat?"

Tony turned to them. "Enough pot brownies to take down an elephant."

"What?" Steve barked. "Why did you- I'm so angry I don't even know where to start!"

Tony shrugged. "It'd be less worried if I didn't lace them with other drugs as well. Half of one would make someone fucked for days."

"Natasha?" Bruce asked walking over to her. "How much did you eat? How many whole brownies?"

Her red eyes blinked at him. "Nine."

"Shit."

"Okay. Okay, Nat?" Bruce coaxed. "I'm going to need you to sit down for a second okay."

"Oh no!" She snapped. "You're not giving me a psychic. Nuh uh."

"Natasha-"

"No!" She jumped up from the couch. "You're all robots that Tony made!"

"Hello paranoia," Tony smirked. "We might need to trank her."

"Any more drugs in her system is an ill-advised idea, Mr. Stark," Friday warned. "More drugs at this point would kill her, even just some Advil."

"Robots," She whispered pointed at them all.

"Okay, but we need to give you a once over Nat-" Bruce began.

"You sound like the men at the Red Room," She stepped back.

"Okay druggie," Stark said in a baby voice. "We need to check you over, who do you want to do it?"

Natasha paused looking them all up and down. "Him," She pointed at Steve. "He can touch me anywhere he like." She giggled.

"Okay," Steve agreed fighting a blush. "Come on, sit on the couch."

She walked over and flopped down. "You aren't a robot."

"You're right," Steve nodded sitting on the coffee table in front of them. "I'm not a robot. Are you?"

"No," She said earnestly. "I… I don't think so anyway."

"Okay, well I should make sure, right?" Steve asked having Natasha nod. "Bruce care to tell me how?"

"Check her over for any injury or tenderness, we don't know if she fell earlier and I doubt she would remember right now," He instructed as he cleared chips off a chair. "Wanda? I'll check your concussion now." She nodded weakly before going and sitting in front of him.

"Steve," She whispered to him as he checked her arms. "Steeeeeve."

"Yeah, Nat?" He smiled looking up at her, completely taken back by her silly behavior.

"I forgot your name," She looked to him more distressed than ever. "I'm sorry."

"Nat," He chuckled moving to check her head. "You just called me my name, like two times."

"Oh," She froze going into a smile. "Cool."

"Okay," Steve sat up. "I have to do your legs now."

"Okay," She nodded. "Just don't touch my thighs. That'll turn me on."

Steve sighed deeply as he heard Tony and Sam hold back snickers. "Good to know." He ran his hands over his legs, avoiding her thighs, to find no injuries. "You're all good."

"Check her torso too," Bruce instructed as he flashed a light in Wanda's eyes. "Yup, you have a concussion."

"Yay," Wanda drawled.

"I'll make sure she is taken care of tonight until her head has healed," Vision volunteered to step forward. "Place your focus on Natasha. She is, as Peter would say, lit A. F. Dude."

They turned when an explosion of laughter broke out on the couch behind them. A frustrated, blushing, Steve had his hands on Natasha's sides as she rolled on the couch laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face.

"Fuck off!" She howled laughing. "Fuck off I'm ticklish there!"

"Natasha," He grunted exasperated retracting his hand as she rolled, continuing to laugh.

"What?" She wheezed. "It's your fault. Yooooour'e the one who tickled me."

Steve let off another sigh as he turned to Banner. "She's fine. No injuries."

"Can I have those Doritos?" Natasha asked Stark. "By ya foot."

"Sure you pothead," He answered handing them to her.

She quickly scarfed down handfuls. "I mean, this is great though. I _never_ let myself eat this much. But now I'm like, why the hell not right?" She laughed out.

"Why don't you let yourself eat this much?" Sam asked. "It looks like a fun time."

"Because," She rolled her eyes. "If I do then I'll get fat and in the Red Room, I had to stay weighing 130 to 140. If I went over I would be tortured." She shrugged her explanation as if it made perfect sense. "It was so put in my mind that to this day I make sure I'm in that range."

"Well," Vision walked up from behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. "If I might just say that weight is a problem you need to not worry of."

She turned up to him to thank him only to let out a scream. "Robot!" She jumped up from the couch into Steve's lap.

"While true," Vision retorted. "The tone was slightly hurtful."

"Nat?" Steve asked as she clawed and wiggled in his lap trying to burrow into him. "Why are you so scared of robots?"

"Specifically Starks?" Sam asked.

"Ultron," She answered her face falling.

"What happened when he captured you?" Wanda asked, fighting through her migraine to watch the show Natasha was putting on.

"He told me what he would do to me if he ever got a body," She answered standing up.

"And that was?" Bruce asked.

Natasha paused as she took the shirt off her head, putting it back on she stepped away, trying to walk to the door, a much easier feat if she could feel her legs. "Very, very, very, very, _very_ bad things."

"And where do you think you're going, young lady?" Tony asked as she made her way to the elevator.

"What the hell did you mix the pot with, Tony?" She laughed grabbing her head. "My heads swimming full of rocks.

He shrugged as everyone turned to him. "Little bit of Ecstasy, just a touch of meth, and of course some opioids."

She laughed turning to them all again. "Let's get some fucking Popeyes."

Everyone looked at each other before shrugging and getting up to go with her. They hadn't eaten since the mission ended and they clearly weren't going to get to sleep any time soon, so why not?

"NATASHA!" Steve yelled as Sam drove the car, everyone dying of laughter. "GET THE FUCK BACK IN THIS CAR!"

"LAUGNGE!" She screamed back, sprinting down the middle of the street.

"NATALIA ROMANOVA GET BACK IN THIS CAR OR STEVE WILL TACKLE YOUR ASS TO THE GROUND!" Tony screamed out at her.

"FUCK YOU!" She screamed back pushing her sprint faster.

"Holy shit man, she's pushing twenty," Sam gasped as he needed to increase his speed to keep up.

"I really hope I am not hullincating this," Wanda said laughing with tears in her eyes despite her headache.

"Don't worry," Bruce smiled. "Tony and I are recording."

"Damnit," Steve muttered opening the passenger door so he could throw himself at her. They both fell, rolling to a stop a few yards behind the car as Sam pulled off to the side of the street.

Natasa began to try and scramble to a stand, ready for a fight, but Steve's amusement was now gone, instead, he scooped her up, throwing her over his shoulder, as he marched back to the car. All the while, Natasha swore in Russian at him, hitting his back with her tiny, but painful, fists. Sam leaned over and opened to passenger door for him, letting him sink in and settle her in his lap as he closed and locked the door.

"Drive to Popeyes," He ordered and like that they were on the road again.

"Why did you jump out of the car?" Vision asked, shifting Wanda on his lap. "I do not understand."

"She's high as fuck," Tony muttered. "She doesn't need a reason."

"I gotta go fast," Natasha whispered a reply. "Besides, I got Steve on top of me, couldn't have been the worst idea."

"Natasha!" Tony whisper yelled. "Get out of that damn tree before I make it explode."

"No!" She screamed down. "Fuck off!"

"Steve is gonna kill me if he finds out you got out of the car," Tony tried to reason. "Come on, I'll buy you anything."

"No!" She moved to hide behind a bunch of leaves. "Fuck you!"

"Natasha-"

"Stark?" Steve asked as everyone left the Popeyes, hands full of food for the trunk. "What are you doing by that tree?"

The answer came as a twig being thrown from the tree at Sam's head.

"Uh, a stray cat got stuck up there?" Tony tried.

"Fuck you!" Natasha yelled throwing a branch at Tony.

"Okay, you got me." Tony held up his hands. "Nat got loose and climbed a tree."

Steve sighed as the rest laughed. "This is such a long night," He muttered walking over to stand by Stark at the tree. "Natasha?" He called up. "Come on down and get your Popeyes."

"NO!"

"But you wanted to eat right?" Steve asked stepping closer.

"Yeah!" She called down. "Your hot ass!"

The others burst into a fit of giggles as Steve sighed rubbing his face. "Natasha," He said using his Cap's voice. "Get down from that tree this instant."

There was a flitter of leaves before she fell like dead weight, landing smack on her face.

"JESUS NAT I MEANT CLIMB DOWN!"

Natasha woke up a few days later in bed with arguably the worst hangover known to the universe. "What happened?" She groaned.

"Well, first you ate all of Tony's pot brownies," Steve told her, setting a trash can by her side as well as a class of water. "You raided the snack cabinets and destroyed the commons. Then you freaked out over robots. We then all took a trip to Popeyes. On the way there you jumped out of the car, insisting you could outrun the 'car robot' making me have to tackle you form a twenty mile an hour car. After that, you climbed a tree and threw parts of the said tree at all of us, mostly Tony."

"Jesus," She groaned dropping her face into the pillow.

"Not all," He smiled sitting down next to her. "On the way home, you jumped out of the car _again_ this time, actually outrunning us for about twenty minutes. Once we found you again we came back to the Tower. You ate two spicy number fives from Popeyes, fries and all, and then threw a bunch of fries at everyone. Then you tried to set up Wanda and Vision, which was so funny to see him finally understand embarrassment. After that, you climbed in the vents and refused to come down until I agreed to kiss you." Natasha groaned. "After we kissed you threw up for about half an hour before you passed out and then Bruce put you in a _slight_ coma until we were sure the drugs were out of your system."

"How long have I been out?"

"A week," Steve smiled. "It was really cute, you thought you were single and kept hitting on me."

"Good thing I had a great husband to babysit me," She groaned. "Can I go back into the coma? My head is killing me."

Steve bent down and kissed her head. "Suffer." He muttered in her hair before she lurched forward to the trashcan, emptying up all her junk food and Popeyes.


	7. Detention Extraction

AN/ I love Momma!Nat for Peter.

"What do you mean Spiderman isn't coming?" Fury asked Tony as everyone stood in command central already suited up. "We need him for this mission. He said he'd be here."

"That's the thing," Tony started. "He wants to come but he uh… he's in detention."

"He's being detained?" Hill asked worriedly. "Track his suit we'll send some agents-"

"Not that- well- kinda like that but I mean," Tony sighed. "He's got detention at school." Everyone groaned and sighed cursing their luck. "Hey, if he hadn't have gotten detention he would have been here on time but he's stuck there for an hour and a half."

"What'd he do this time?" Steve asked.

"He wouldn't say," Tony shrugged. "Just that he couldn't make it."

"Can't May just call or something?" Bruce asked. "I mean, we need his web skills for this mission against Hydra-"

"I asked," Tony shrugged. "You don't think I tried to get him here? May's out of town she called but they told her no. Hell, _I_ called and they told _me_ no."

Fury sighed, normally he would call in some random replacement but with Peter's acrobatic skills as well as his web-slinging powers, he was irreplaceable… for now anyway. "Romanoff, go in and extract the kid."

"What?" She asked just now turning in from the side. "Why me? Why not Clint or Steve or hell, Tony."

Fury turned to Tony. "He says whos sitting with them?"

"The asshole principle, Mr. _Morita_." He rolled his eyes.

"Romanoff's going in," Fury said in a final tone. "Get ready and be quick about it."

Natasha rolled her eyes pointable as she walked turned and walked back down to the costume room.

Peter was practically vibrating in his desk. He got detention. How could he do that? Well, he knew how. But this was only his second Sheild Mission and Fury himself had asked him to go. Fury. Himself. Jesus, how did he fuck this up so badly? They'd never ask him back. They'd never ask him to be an Avenger. He'd have to give his suit back again and then he'd die. He'd just die. He didn't know how but he would. Dead. D. E. D. Dead.

He glared at MJ, who had turned up just to capture his misery as well as most of the football's team when a flash of red by the door caught his eyes. "Oh God," He gasped. "No."

Natasha burst through the door wearing a big smile denim booty shorts and a tight-fitting tank top with "I 3 NY" sprawled over it. All eyes immediately went to her. "PETEY!" She squealed in a thick New York accent pushing up her thick black glasses.

"Jesus no," Peter panicked in his own personal sea sweat and despair.

"My little man!" She cooed loudly running him in her black platform flip-flop heels. She bent over his desk, showing the principle her ass and his classmates her black bra as she hugged him. "I've been sent to extract you," She whispered in his ear. "My glasses are transmitting everything back so stop panicking I'm not here to murder. Hug me back, you're making this weird."

"You're extracting me?" He asked wrapping his arms around her.

"You think we can do this mission without you?" She smirked pulling back. "My Ghad you are so BIG now! Just look at my little Petey."

A clearing throat had her turning around quickly. "Excuse me, Miss," The principal looked her up and down. "But who are you?"

"Oh, silly me," She laughed. "I'm Natalie Rushman, Petey's aunt."

"His aunt?" He questioned. "His _real_ Aunt May never mentioned a sister… well other than-"

"Oh I'm not a _real_ aunt," She waved her hand dismissively. "I went to high school with May and her sister. I've known Petey since he was a teeny tiny chubby baby." She giggled. "I'm in town for the weekend and when I got home and _he_ wasn't there like he was supposed to I got worried and called May."

Peter, shaking himself out of the shook of what was happening as well as being overwhelmed by the fact that they really did _need_ him for this mission, jumped up grabbing his backpack and Nat's upper arm rushing them towards the door. "Yeah, sorry Aunty Nat, we can go now let's hurry."

"Wait for just a minute," Morita said stopping them at the door. " _Petey_ still has a detention to serve here. He has an hour left."

"Oh, of course," Natasha gushed stepping over to the corner of the teacher's desk. "And I think he should, you know learn some discipline." She turned to Peter and hit him upside the head. "Ya putz, getting detention." She smiled largely back to the principle, bending forward slightly. "But could he maybe serve his time on Monday or Tuesday?" She asked her voice speaking in question. "Ya see, I've got us some _non-refundable_ tickets and all and-"

"I understand but he broke a major rule of our school and must serve today." He interrupted.

Natasha gasped. "A _major rule?_ " She turned and slapped Peter on the back of the head again making everyone snicker holding their laughs back. "Peter Paker, what the hell did you do now?"

"I punmmsummmon." Peter muttered.

"You what?" Nat asked putting her hand to her ear. "Speak up Mister, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I punched someone," Peter said quickly feeling as though he was having a conversation with May herself. "But it wasn't my fault!"

"Oh, it wasn't?" Natasha crossed her arms. "So what happened hmm? He trip and fall on your fist?"

"Well no, but you see he was making fun of me and-" Peter's lip formed a tight line as she held up a finger to him.

Natasha kept her hand up to Peter turning to the principle. "So what exactly happened with Peter?"

"He punched a student in the hall today," Morita said with some sick pleasure. "That student now has a black eye."

"Ah," Natasha said shaking her head in fake outrage. "You gave someone a black eye Peter?"

"Well yes," Peter said quickly only to have a finger held up again.

"So you got in a fight," Nat shook her head. "I can't believe it."

"No he wasn't in a fight," Morita corrected. "He punched the student who did not even fight back."

"Peter," Natasha said in fake shock and outrage. "I can't believe you swung first, you know I taught you always to make them swing first." She hit him upside the head again. "So what happened, huh? What'd this other kid do to you?"

"That's just the thing!" Peter yelled finally being able to get his point in. "He's been bullying me all year! He ruined my science fair project, Aunt Nat."

"He's been bullying you?" Natasha asked. "What'd he do to your project?"

"He ripped all my wire out of my switchboard and broke the edge of it off," Peter deflated. "When I confronted him in the hall about it called me a fag and a loser… so I punched him. But I just gave him a black eye!"

Natasha nodded. Most people would think that was a cop-out to say, but her and the Avengers watching through her glasses knew that we saying a lot. He spared with Thor and Hulk, even sending both of them through a wall at one point. So the fact that he has _just given him a black eye_ really did mean something. "Alright," She said exasperatedly. "Alright," She turned to the class of football players. "Which one of you is the one he punched?"

"That boy isn't here," Morita explained. "He was the boy who was assaulted."

"He isn't here?" Natasha asked with genuine outrage. "What do ya mean he isn't here. He broke my boys science fair project."

"Yes, but _your boy_ punched him-"

"What _my boy_ ," Natasha gritted. "Did was defend himself and his private property against a bully. And his bully gets off scot-free?"

"Well, you see-"

Natasha spun to the rest of the room. "What's the name of this kid?"

"Fullner, Miss," One of the football players answered. "He's in the starting line, a real asshole. I didn't see him break the project but I'm betting he did."

"Yeah," Another nodded. "Fullner is the fucking worst, lady, I've seen him bully _Petey_ and that one nerd that hangs around him all the time-"

"Ned," MJ supplied.

"Yeah, him," He nodded. "It's like Fullner makes his goal in life to make their life hell."

"For a full school year?" The boys nodded to her. She turned back to the principle. "So this has been going on a full year and you've done nothing?"

" _Let's calm down now, Romanoff,"_ Fury warned over her earpiece.

"Well had it been brought to our attention-"

"Oh, he has," MJ smirked. "Peter and Ned have told basically every teacher they have more than twice and they've told you themselves like, four times." She scoffed. "Hell, even I've told you a couple of times."

"Gah," Natasha scoffed crossing her arms as she turned to the principle. "So for over a year, my sweet innocent little man has been telling you and other adults here about this bullying. For a year he has been bullied daily, mocked, picked on and has had his own _personal property_ defiled on _your watch_ and you have done nothing. So my sweet little monkey finally stands up for himself after his school project is sabotaged and broken, and _you_ decided to let this Fuller go and instead punish the victim for standing up for himself since you won't?"

Morita gulped. "Now listen here-"

"No!" Natasha snapped slamming her hands onto the table. " _You_ listen here. I know for a fact you got camera's all over this school and when I'm not spending time with Peter and May I'm working at my day job with is at a programming government contractor. So I can assure you I can access that freaking footage of you doint shit while my sweet little love muffin is terrorized. And if I can't I sure as hell bet Mr. Tony Fucking Stark can. And I don't know about you Petey, but I'm smelling a lawsuit, are you?"

Peter smiled with self-satisfaction. "Yes. As a matter of fact, I do, Aunty Nat."

"Well I - we - I-" Morita floundered.

"Here's what's you're gonna do," Natasha said crossing her arms. "You're gonna give this Fullner kid three weeks-" Peter elbowed her. "A months worth of detention every day for an hour-" He elbowed her again. "And a half long."

"But-"

"AND," Natasha continued. "You are gonna make sure that Peter has _everything_ he will need to fix his freaking project by Monday."

Peter swung his backpack to the front pulling out a peice of paper. "I already made a list," He smirked putting it on the desk.

"And to make sure that all this happens," Natasha went on. "I'll be doing my work online from May and Peter's house and checking in every so often that you keep doing my conditions. Or you'll be hearing from mine and from Stark's lawyers."

"Yes ma'am," Morita eeped out.

"Good," Natasha nodded putting her arm around Peter's shoulders. "Then me and my boy will be going now. And you," She pointed at him. "You can go and fuck yourself." She turned to a smiling Peter. "Come on hun, I'm getting you ice cream before we go to the ship."

Peter beamed as she pulled him in a storm down the hallway, her arm still around him. "Wait, are we really getting ice cream?"

" _There is always time for ice cream,"_ She could hear the smile in Fury's voice. " _Just make it quick."_

"Of course," Natasha smiled, now using her normal voice.

"Yes," Peter smiled pumping his fist as they pushed open the double doors.


	8. I am not a Robot

Song: I am not a robot: Mariana and the Diamonds

Natasha groaned as she tapped her foot in the empty elevator. She was late to a missing debriefing with the Avengers as well as Hill and Fury. Normally she wouldn't give two shits about being late, they were lucky she showed up at all really, but lately, things had been getting to her.

Tony had upped his taunting of her since Pepper left him again, going below the belt with his jabs at her almost every day. Steve also went on a date with Sharon, he promised he wouldn't go on another one, saying it was terribly awkward and he only went because Sam and Bucky pushed him too. And then to add to it Wanda and Hill had been snapping at her. During combat training with Wanda, Natasha had pushed the girl a bit too hard admittedly, which resulted in a pissed off, glowing red, Wanda cursing her out.

"I mean Jesus Mary and Joseph, Romanoff, we're not all robots like you!"

Fury had been sending her on more and more solo missions, making Natasha irritable and tired as well but Heaven helps her if she said so much as one complaint.

"You're the best agent we have, Romanoff," Fury had praised her. "We couldn't build a better you in a lab."

"Yeah," Hill had agreed a bit venomously. "Best robot Sheild has. Better even than Vision."

Hill's anger was the worst to her. Since Pepper left, Hill was the only real female friend she had, especially since Wanda had snapped at her and proceeded to ignore her. They had gone clubbing and one of the men Hill was trying to seduce had left her for Nat. And by one man… it was all of them that night. It wasn't like Nat wanted it and she turned each and every down. Still, it didn't stop Hill from leaving in a pissed off huff.

She hit herself in the head inwardly as she opened the door to the conference room. _Everyone_ was there. Hill and Fury stood at the front of the table.

"So nice of you to finally join us, Romanoff," Fury boomed making a few of them snicker.

"I'm sorry I'm late sir," She smirked walking to the front of the table by Hill and Steve, the only free seat. "I just really didn't want to come." She didn't miss the eye roll from Wanda and the held back laugh from Steve and Bucky.

"Ohhh, what a mouth," Tony whistled. "Ya know, Fury, I can take a look at her programming if you want. Wipeout that smart mouth and fix her clock so shes on time."

"Maybe she does need a new software reboot," Hill muttered loud enough for Nat to hear.

"I could add some time on her internal clock too if ya want," Tony leaned forward to her with a shit eating grin. "Since she's getting a bit old and you still might want some tiny assassins from her one day if she can find anyone to love her."

Natasha had thrown a knife onto the table between his fingers before anyone had even had a chance to say that he had gone too far. She chuckled lightly grabbing the knife back.

" _You've been acting awful tough lately_ ," She hummed leaning over the table she got whiff of the air around him. " _Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately."_ She smiled at him sweetly, making his spine crawl. " _But inside, you're just a little baby._ " She reached over and hit his face twice with a light slaps. "You know, Tony, _It's okay to say you've got a weak spot_. That _You don't always have to be on top._ But we all know how you think don't we, that it's _Better to be hated, Than loved loved loved for what your not."_

He cleared his throat. "I'll have you know-"

" _You're vulnerable,"_ Natasha interrupted him standing up. " _you're vulnerable."_ She nodded to herself. "You maybe Ironman, Tony, but _You are not a robot._ Beneath all of this," She motioned to all of him. " _You're lovable, so lovable._ That's why Pepper was with you." She crossed her arms. " _But you're just troubled_ and that's why she left."

"Natasha-" Steve tried to pull her back down in her seat.

She hit herself from his grasp and turned to everyone else in the room, leaning with her knuckles on the table. "And while we're on the subject, _Guess what I'm not a robot, a robot._ " She threw up her hands. "I know I've heard most of you in this room call me so many times this past month that I've had to stop new agents from checking me for wires and control panels during combat training. So _Guess what I'm not a robot, a robot."_ She pointed to Vision. "And no Vision there's nothing wrong with being a robot but I'm being called it with a derogatory meaning."

She spun at Hill. " _You've been hanging with the unloved kids Who you never really liked and you never trusted_ so when we go out and all the guys look at me and not you, you end up thinking I'm doing it on purpose. But did you see me accepting any drinks? Or was I sending them back?"

"You were," Maria cleared her voice. "You were sending them back."

"And when guys tried to dance with me, did I turn them down or ditch you?" Natasha asked.

"You danced with me instead."

"So when I turn around and see you walking out the front door to the club how do you think I fucking felt?" Natasha fumed.

"Uh… Bad…" Hill answered.

"I may have looks but my personality has been described as abrasive at best. _But you are so magnetic, you pick up all the pins."_ Natasha shook her head. "I'm _Never committing to anything_ but my friends and Sheild. So why is it now when I call you to go shopping or get lunch _You don't pick up the phone when it ring, ring, rings?"_

Hill only muttered a sorry before looking away. Making Natasha spin on Wanda. "And you."

"Me?" Wanda eeped.

"I push you in training so you can get better. I push you so you can take down any threat coming at you. I push you so that if you get your powers stopped again, that you don't end up in an undersea prison. I push you so you don't fucking die in the field like you almost did this mission." She snapped, making Wanda blush. "I don't care if it pisses you off. Yell at me if you want. But when I come to try and find you after to see if you want to go get dinner, you don't brush me off and ignore me for weeks like a fucking child. _Don't be so pathetic, just open up and sing._ "

"Yes, Natasha," Wanda nodded. "I'm sorry."

"This may come as a surprise, but _I'm vulnerable, I'm vulnerable."_ She held up her hands over her head. "Maybe it's because _I am not a robot."_

She looked to Hill then Wanda. " _You're lovable, so lovable."_ She shook her head. "But your just like Tony and the rest of us here. _But you're just troubled._ " She stood straight. "Becuase _Guess what I'm not a robot, a robot._ "

She looked down to the amused face of Steve Rogers. " _Can you teach me how to feel real?"_ She smirked. " _Can you turn my power on?_ And _We'll let the drum beat drop?"_

"Sounds like a plan to me," He smiled.

"That is if you're not too busy with Agent Blonde?"

"Who?"

She smiled. "Dinner tonight, pick me up at 8." She smiled walking to the door she had just entered. "I like food. Because _Guess what I'm not a robot._ " She slammed the door shut. Sinking down against the elevator as it too her to her the garage. Maybe things were looking up.


	9. Infinite Power

"Tony any better yet?" Natasha asked walking into the kitchen where all the Avengers had assembled to watch Tony mop on the couch. He wore nothing but his bathrobe and boxers as he sprawled on the couch covered in junk food and wrappers watching sappy romance movies on repeat.

"No," Steve shook his head. "Pepper left him two weeks ago and he's the same as ever."

"I'm starting to get second had depression," Clint scoffed. "We need to fix him."

"It's getting sad," Bruce agreed.

"Women hold the power to destroy any and all men," Thor mused making the others look at him.

"Anyway," Clint sent Thor a sideways glance. "Does anyone even know why she left?"

"He told me she thought he wasn't sexy anymore," Bruce grimaced.

"He told me that she found out she was a lesbian," Steve shook his head.

"He told me that she was a gold digging bitch then drank a bottle of Jack Daniels," Thor laughed lightly while eating a pop tart.

"He told me _he_ left her," Clint shook his head.

"So," Natasha finished fixing her coffee and turned to the men. "Are you idiots done trying to fix him and let me do it?"

"I know you're good in bed Nat-" Clint began with a smirk.

"Finish that innuendo and I'll cut your balls off, Barton," She snapped. "Now," She took a sip. "It's Friday, we'll be going clubbing tonight. All of us. Deal with it."

"Yes ma'am," They all drawled.

"See," Thor whispered once she walked away. "Power beyond understanding."

Natasha sighed, throwing her phone on the bed. The day after she had left, Pepper had called and texted Natasha. She had explained it all and asked Natasha to help him any way she could. Saying that Natasha had known him the longest of those living in Avengers Towers and that she was the only one who was he was scared of enough to listen to. Her reasoning for leaving Tony being that he had turned too self-loathing and that he needed work on fixing himself before they would work on fixing each other as a couple. Natasha refused to help. For start she didn't want too, she also didn't have anything to say to either of them.

Natasha groaned. Tony was too far gone into self-pity at the moment to be of any use if the Avengers were assembled. That was the main reason she was doing this. She reminded herself as she slipped into her old cheetah print dress. It was for the Avengers and for Tony and for Pepper.

She rolled her eyes as she made sure he makeup and hair was just as it had been when she had first partied with Tony.

"Let's get this over with."

"Come on, Tony," Bruce coaxed, all the men surrounding Tony dressed to go clubbing. "It was Nat's idea."

"Yeah," Steve agreed. "She wants to go get some vodka. We can't let her go alone."

"Correction," Clint snarked. "She won't let us."

"Power."

"Oh can it with that power shit, Thor." Clint snapped.

"Speaking of," Steve watched her walk in, his jaw dropping. "That's an… interesting dress choice, Nat."

"Shove it," Natasha walked over to stand in front of Tony, smirking as he checked her out and noticeably perked up. She didn't mind for once, she was the only thing he had looked at other than the TV for two weeks now. "Come on, Stark. We're going out."

He looked up at her for a second then settled deeper into his couch. "Nice try Red. I'll pass."

Natasha put her hands behind her back, holding her red purse over her backside so no one caught a glimpse as she bent at the waist to be eye level with Tony. "Now, Tony, you wouldn't want Natalie Rushman to celebrate her birthday alone would you?"

Tony looked from her chest then back up to her eyes, a large smiled spreading over his lips as he hopped over the back of the couch and ran to the elevator. "Give me twenty!" He called.

Natasha turned back to the rest of them with a satisfied smile.

"The power," Clint mused this time.

Natasha flipped Tony off her shoulders and onto his bed as he rolled back and forth as drunk as ever. "Christ Tony." She muttered more than done with the night. In the span of a few hours he had gotten so drunk everyone was sure he was blacked out. He danced on a bar. Grabbed her ass. Barfed on her shoes. Barfed in Clint's car. Grabbed Steve's ass. Cried for a good hour in an alley. Grabbed her chest and then fell to the edge of passing out, insisting that only Natasha take him 'to bed'.

"Alrigh," He slurred rolling onto his back. "I'm ready. I think you gotta be on top for a bit though."

"You," She pointed angerly at him, more than pissed about her ruined shoes. "Need to get your shit together Anthony."

"Ohhh okay," He mocked. " _Natashalie._ "

"You've been dragging your balls all around this goddamn tower for close to a fucking month now because of Pepper." She said taking a step towards him. "No wonder she fucking left you. Look at you." She said motioning to his disheveled self. "Who the hell are?"

"I…" He said sitting up now fully offended. "I am Tony… FUCKING… Stark."

"Then start acting like him," She demanded. "Because right now you've been acting like a… like a fucking loser." She shook her head as she walked away. "I'm going to bed." She stopped turning to him at the door. "And you owe me a new fucking pair of shoes."

It was another week before anyone saw him again. He was alive and alright, a fact that Jarvis made sure to keep them updated on, and locked in his lab. No one was allowed in, not even Bruce. The boys were sure that Natasha had cut off a certain part of his anatomy and he was in recovery. Or trying to re-engineer a new one. So when he stepped out into the kitchen one Monday morening as everyone sat having breakfast for the work days.

He walked up them, wearing jeans and his Black Sabbath tee holding a shoe box in his hand. With a smirk he plopped it down on the island infront of Natasha's eggs. She looked up to him skeptically as she flicked the box open. She smiled at the contents.

"Since I ruined the last pair," Tony smiled.

"Thank you, Tony," Natasha said closing the box of shoes.

"Actually, it's me who should be thanking you," He took a deep breath as he realizing the cheesy crappy line that had just uttered past his lips.

"Does this mean I get a new car?" Clint asked sarcastically. "Since you ruined my back seat too?"

"Yes Legolas, you do," Tony said putting an arm on his shoulder. "Now, Stevie Boy, I made a new suit this week. Are you gonna help me try it all out today during training?"

"Of course," Steve nodded as he shoved food into his mouth to keep up with his metabolism.

"Great," Tony called walking out. "See ya there then."

Everyone sat for a moment in silence eating until finally, Clint sighed, seeing that Thor looked as though he wanted to explode. "Just say it you-"

"WOMEN HAVE INFINITE POWER!" Thor boomed spitting pop tarts everywhere.


	10. Chapter 10 Problem

Song: Problem by Natalie Kills

RATE M

"We just need one code," Hill said from her stop at the computer. "Then we're in Hydra's database."

"Hell yes!" Tony cheered. "I knew that mission would be worth it."

"I almost died," Bruce said questioning.

"Yes, almost," Thor nodded.

"What's the last code?" Steve asked.

"Better yet," Clint sat up from his seat. "Where? Syberia?" He scoffed.

"It's a fifteen number code one of our informants just so happens to have," Furry smirked.

"Which one?" Natasha asked only half paying attention.

Fury smirked, pulling a flip phone out of his pocket as he held it out to her.

Natasha looked up from her knife to see the phone, immediately deflating. "No."

"What's happening?" Bruce asked as Clint burst out laughing.

"I can't believe it," He said whipping a tear away. "Someone, make some popcorn, this is gonna fucking rock."

"What exactly is gonna rock?" Steve asked.

"We uh," Hill answered fighting back a laugh. "We have an informant who trades intel for… well-"

"Phone sex with Natasha!" Clint yelled laughing.

"Phone sex?" Steve furrowed his brow. "How does that even work?"

"No," Natasha said finally. "I'll kill whoever you want just don't make me call that phone." Furry raised an eyebrow as the stalemate began. With a growl, Natasha snatched the phone away and hit one on speed-dial.

"Hello, sexy," Natasha said over the phone in a sultry voice. "Of course I've missed you." She put her hand over the receiver when Clint began snickering. "Do you people need to be here?"

"Yes," Clint laughed. "I enjoy your pain."

Natasha rolled her eyes as she put the phone back to her face. "Oh, where we left off? Uh well of course I remember, silly." She shot Tony a glare as he choked on his water from laughing. "There was _Sweat dripping down your chest…"_ She staggered off putting her face in her free hand as he filled her in for a few minutes. "Oh, I'm _Thinking 'bout your tattooed knuckles on my thigh, boy…_. _Cold shower?"_ She sat up more alert. "Please lover boy, _You got no power to control how I make you my toy."_ She kicked her heels up on the table. "What I'm doing right now?" She looked at everyone's amused and pink faces. "I've got _My hips rocking, as we keep lip locking."_ She began to play with her knife again. "Uh huh… ooooh yeah…. The neighbors? We _Got the neighbors screaming even louder, louder."_ She sighed as she stabbed lightly at the table. "Uh huh, Mrs. Kerns if fit to be tied."

"This is the most humiliating thing," Tony smiled. "I love it."

She glared at him and took the phone away from her face. "First off, pretending to be interested in you was the most humiliating thing I've ever done and second off if this gets your rocks off then get the hell out of here." There was a shout over the phone make her put it back to her face. "You know I'm still here baby…. Yeah, I love that…" She rolled her eyes. " _Lick me down, like you were rolling rizla."_ She huffed leaning her head back. "Am I hot? Honey, _I'm smoking, come and put me out."_

"I love when this happens," Clint laughed. "She can't kill us till after she gets off the phone."

"Why I'm so sweet to you?" Natasha rolled her eyes again. " _I'm your dream girl. This is real love. But you know what they say about me-"_

" _That girl is a problem?"_ Hill smirked.

Natasha glared at her. "I can't be tamed."

"Maybe we should leave?" Steve asked clearly uncomfortable.

"Nah, too late now," Natasha leaned back again. "He'll be done soon and you've all heard more than enough." She turned her attention back to the phone. "What am I wearing?" She glanced down at her suit pants and white button up. " _I got your name hanging from my chain._ Oh yeah, baby. _Don't you wanna claim my body like a vandal?"_ She yawned. "Am I sick? Oh yeah I have a fever and the only cure is-"

"More cowbell?" Clint and Tony asked at the same time. Sadly Clint was the only one able to dodge the stapler she threw.

" _You got the cure underneath your shirt,"_ Natasha smiled as Tony held the forming bump on his head. " _Don't you wanna save this dirty little damsel?"_ She huffed out a laugh as Clint pulled a staple from Tony's head. "Oh yeah you know, _Got my mink coat falling on the motel floor. You're on the bed wolf whistling louder, louder._ Uh huh."

"Telephone sex seems very strange," Thor mused. "What is he doing? Does anyone get to-"

" _Your lips smudging all my makeup, Kicking both my heels off, Come and pin me down,"_ She made a disgusted face holding the phone out so everyone could hear a loud deep moan. " _Ooh baby, you so bad, boy,"_ She moaned rolling her eyes. "You _Drive me mad, boy But you don't care what they say about me_ …. Uh huh… I'm yours." She rolled her eyes holding the phone away as more male moans fill the room. "Are you sure I can't just kill this guy, Fury?"

"Negative, he has information on us as well," He shook his head. "He's a lonely little computer nerd trusted with too much information. This is easiest."

"For you maybe," She snarled. "What we're doing?" She asked the phone. " _We're hell-raising, and we don't need saving 'Cause there's no salvation for a bad girl. We're rock bottom, but there ain't no stopping 'Cause they don't know nothing about love."_

"Oh yeah, baby," She rolled her eyes holding out her hand for a pen and paper. " _Let me see you take your shirt, shoes, jeans, all off. I'ma take my skirt, boots, rings, all off And we ain't even at the beach…_ uh huh, yeah right there." She nodded and began to write down numbers on the paper.

"Good job, thanks for the intel… dinner?" She looked at everyone confused. "Maybe another day, you know, let me think on it, I'll call you later bye." With that, she hung up the phone and threw it at Fury. "There's your damn code." She pushed herself up and began to walk out.

"Where are you going?" Clint called out. "Got a dinner to get to?"

"I'm taking a shower," She called back. "I feel disgusting right now."

"A cold shower?" Tony joked.

"A scalding one," She muttered.

"She is a _God damn problem,"_ Steve shook his head. "Let's put the last code in shall we?"


	11. Caught in the Buff

Natasha was home a week early her mission. A fact that only Fury was privy to know. Instead of running to Sheild and making her presence known she instead told Fury that she would be back the next day for the debriefing. Her mission ended in a giant, unnecessary, explosion with her being thrown fifty feet into the and bruising her hip bones. She snuck back into the Tower, to get some time to herself, and went to take a shower. After getting out of the shower she dried her hair and put on her relaxation lotion. It did nothing for her but make her skin soft and smell good.

Sighing and happy to be out of any tight fitting clothes she walked over to dresser picking out her silkiest pair of panties. After being exploded and bruising her hip bones, a nice soft pair of anything was just what she ordered. Sighing she slipped into her silky black pair of underwear. She bent forward, fluffing and teasing out her hair to get the rest of the water out. She was just about to slip into her sweats and finish her hair when Friday's alarm sounded.

" _Hydra attack in commons. Avengers Assemble."_

Steve sighed as he got out of the shower, happy to finally have a day off. His time off was limited and he was more than excited to have some time to himself and spend time with the Avengers again. The last mission he had been forced to do without his partner, Natasha, who had to do her own alone as well. A fact that annoyed both of them to no ends.

He looked in his underwear drawer to be reminded that he has some laundry to do. The only thing he had clean underwear wise was the novelty Avengers pack that Stark had gotten him last Christmas. He sighed as he pulled out one of the packs at random to put them on. He pulled out white V neck Tee as well, very hungry as normal all he wanted was to eat. Sighing he pulled out his jeans and was just about to put them on when an alarm blared through the Tower.

" _Hydra Attack in the commons. Avengers Assemble."_

"I have to hand it to you, Tony, you do know how to throw a party," Clint said pouring himself a drink.

"This," Tony pointed at him. "Is only the pregame."

"Yes," Wanda said scarsticlly as she forced her way to the bar where everyone was standing. "A pregame where everyone is either drunk or tipsy and half of Sheild is already here."

"Not to forget," Sam pointed out. "Everyone who is friends with Steve and Bucky."

"Yeah, too bad Bucky wasn't on a mission," Hill rolled her eyes at the surprise party being ruined for him.

"It's probably for the better," Bucky shrugged. "I don't do great with surprises anymore."

"So how do you plan on getting Steve down here?" Thor asked.

"And is Nat still on a mission?" Clint asked then sighed. "She sure loves parties."

Fury cleared his throat. "As far as I know, yes she is."

"Alight!" Tony yelled hopping up on the top of the bar to tell at everyone. "Who else thinks we should bring the man of honor down here?" He was met with a bunch of drunken cheers. "Oh, Friday!" He called to the ceiling. "Alarm the Tower that there is a Hydra attack in the commons and the Avengers need to assemble."

" _Yes sir,"_ Friday answered. " _Hydra attack in the commons. Avengers Assemble."_

They met each other in the hallway both pausing to take each other in. Steve was barefoot, wearing Black Widow boxers and a white shirt with his Sheild on one arm. Natasha wore nothing more than black silk panties and bra with a gun in each hand.

"Nice undies," Natasha smirked as they both began running to the stairwell.

"You too," Steve snarked. Natasha rolled her eyes as she began to take a step down the stairwell. "Whoa, whoa wait put on my shirt."

She looked up to see a shirtless Captain America in underwear with her symbol on. "Well, this is a sight."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Just take the shirt, if we go in for a fight then you won't have any protection."

"And you will?" She asked.

"I heal faster," Rolling his eyes at her stubbornness he forced the shirt into her hands. "Put it on we don't have time to argue. Captains order."

She growled as she threw the shirt over herself, the hem going down to midthigh as her black panties shown through the white. "Happy?"

"Very," He nodded grabbing her around the waist. "Let's make up some time."

"Shit Steve wait I'm-" She grunted digging her nails into him as they landed with a thud, her hips hitting him in the knee. "Damnit you blonde sack of muscles."

"Are you okay?" He asked setting her down as she winced.

"Last mission ended with a bang," She turned and began sprinting through the pain. "Let's go come on, Tony's probably dead already."

" _They are on their way,"_ Friday smiled.

"Perf- Wait they?" Tony asked.

Steve broke through the door, shield first, with Natasha following guns held high.

"SUPRISE!" Everyone yelled cheering.

"What the-" Steve began.

"Fuck is going on?" Natasha asked.

"This is the anniversary of you becoming Cap, Cap," Tony smiled looking at Natasha. "I see Natasha took the liberty of celebrating with you first?"

"Shut up Stark," Natasha snapped.

"So there's no Hydra attack?" Steve asked to see his friends smile as most of the others went back to drinking. "Jesus," He put rubbed his head feeling his first migraine since getting the serum brewing.

"Nat," Clint smiled. "I thought you didn't get back in for a few more days.

She shrugged. "I finished early."

"I bet you did," Hill laughed.

"You said you were staying overseas," Fury fought back a smirk. "Not coming back stateside."

Natasha rolled her eyes, trying to take a step forward only to wince in pain and bend slightly, holding on to her hips.

"Are you okay Nat?" Steve asked putting an arm around her. "I didn't think I bumped your hips too hard."

"Bump?" Bucky took a sip of his drink. "So that's what they're calling it now?"

Nat only sent him a glare. "My last mission ended in an explosion. I'm just a bit sore."

"I would be too," Wanda laughed.

"Guys come on we didn't-" Steve stopped as Natasha put a hand up.

"We didn't know you were planing him a party," She continued. "You should have told me about it."

"You were on a mission," Clint shrugged with a smile.

"How about we go put some clothes on?" Natasha suggested. Steve nodded and they both quickly walked to the elevator.

Steve turned to her as the door closed. "We didn't do anything, why are you letting them think we did?"

She shrugged. "They're going to think what they want no matter what they say." She looked to him with an evil glint. "Besides, just because we didn't this time doesn't mean we haven't."

Steve blushed fighting back a smile and eye roll. "Well, now they know."

"They think they know something," She leaned her head against his arm.

"I'm sorry we can't spend a quiet night watching movies on your floor now." He consoled, wrapping an arm around her.

Natasha shrugged. "Now I get to tease everyone about me sleeping with you. Seems like a win to me."

Steve chuckled. "It would."


	12. I'm Not Okay

Song: I'm Not Okay by My Chemical Romance

They were sitting in the commons room of Avengers Tower. It was a normal afternoon for all accords. Natasha was laying on the couch reading a book and Steve sat by the widow drawing her. There was a type of tension that wasn't normally between them, making his foot bounce on his heel. On their last mission, they had kissed. Not just to save their lives, or to celebrate, she had kissed him and he had kissed her. The building he was in had collapsed on him and she had dug him out. Upon finding him she was so overjoyed she had kissed him passionately. Only stopping when she heard the others climbing up to them.

He sighed and threw his pencil and paper down. Natasha just turned the page of her book. "Are you seriously gonna pretend it didn't happen?"

She held up her finger as she finished her paragraph, making him roll his eyes as she dog-eared her page. "Hm?"

"Damn it, Natasha," Steve shook his head.

"Langue," She scolded.

"You kissed me!" He yelled jumping to his feet. "Are we not gonna talk about it?"

She looked cooly at him before picking her book back up. "My apologies, Captain, it won't happen again."

"Natasha," He stalked over to her, sitting down next to her knees on the couch she was stretched out on. "Talk to me."

Her eyes flicked up to him before she let out a sigh and put the book back down. "It was a mistake, I'm sorry."

"Was it?" He asked licking his lips. "A mistake?"

Her eyebrow went up, letting a breath out as she shifted so she was sitting. "I'm not sure, was it?" She asked him.

"I don't want it to be." He told her honestly.

She looked at him, with what seemed like hope, before she shook her head and threw her book on the coffee table. "Well, it was. I thought you died I was just… relieved to have you alive."

"Go out with me," Steve surprised even himself.

Natasha looked at him in shock before letting out a breathy laughed. "Next time Clint says I'm not sexy anymore I'm going to tell him how one kiss got a man asking me out." She stood to leave, trying her best to dismiss him until she felt a hand on the wrist as she was tugged back down.

"Stop brushing this off with humor," Steve ordered her. "And talk to me. Do you honestly not like me?"

" _Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say,"_ She laughed, somewhat sadly before looking out the window. " _I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way."_

"Natasha," Steve sighed, relieved he was getting to the real her again. "You couldn't let me down. And I'll always be by your side, no matter what."

" _For all the dirty looks,_ " Natasha smirked. "And I get quite a few from the females you know. They resent me for being your partner and so close to you. They hate the fact I of all people is close to you. _The photographs your boyfriend took,"_

"I told you," He pinched his nose. "Stark isn't my boyfriend."

" _Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?"_ She asked, fighting the tears from coming to her eyes. "I thought you died again until you dragged yourself over to us. When I saw you falling and not get up? I couldn't breath."

"Natasha," Steve breathed, leaning in to kiss her only to find her up and pacing in front of him.

" _I'm not okay,_ Steve," She told him. "I'm damaged goods. I care either too much or not enough. I've never had close friends before the Avengers. I worry about you all. _I'm not okay."_ She shook her head. "I worry about you all, but I could live if one of them died somehow. I…. I can't say the same for you." She put her head in her hands as she paced. " _I'm not okay. You wear me out."_

"Nat, what are you-"

"I don't deserve any life with you," She cut him off. "I don't deserve a chance at happiness. I don't get to have a happy ending. My life is anger and avenging and fighting until the day I'm not quick enough. Not smart enough. Until I die."

" _What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?"_ He stood as well. " _I'm not okay_ either."

Natasha cut him a stern look. " _I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means: I'm not okay_."

" _To be a joke and look, another line without a hook,"_ Steve threw his hands up. "Natasha that's all I am. All my life I've either been the punk shrimp bullies gang up on or I've been a joke as Captain America. I'm not Captain America, I'm just that same punk in a different body fighting different bullies. But when we were running from Sheild, when that shelter blew and I had to carry you through the woods? _I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!"_

Natasha shook her head, walking away slightly. " _I'm not okay."_

" _I'm not okay,_ okay?" He asked following her. " _I'm not okay. You wear me out."_

"Steve, we can't people-"

" _Forget about the dirty looks,"_ He rolled his eyes. " _The photographs your boyfriend took."_

Natasha stepped towards him. She couldn't run so she decided to try and fight. " _You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed."  
_  
"Natasha," Steve grabbed both her hands in his, trying to defuse her bomb. "I'm never alright, but when I'm with you. When you look at me. When I smell you. When I even think about you. _I'm okay"_ She looked away from him and he saw tears on her eyelashes. "When I'm with you, _I'm okay!"_

She pulled him into a kiss, not as fierce but with just as much passion as on the mission. When they pulled apart for air they rested their foreheads together. " _I'm okay, now."_ She smiled. " _I'm okay, now."_

She smirked at him as she pulled away opting to hug him around the waist. " _But you really need to listen to me Because I'm telling you the truth."_

He rolled his eyes. " _I mean this, I'm okay! Trust Me."_

" _I'm not okay,"_ She smirked playfully at him. "I think I need you around me more because _I'm not okay."_

"Oh yeah?" Steve rolled his eyes smiling. "What about now?" He hugged her closer kissing her sweetly.

" _Well, I'm not okay,"_ She said playfully.

His hands slid to her backside. "Now?"

" _I'm not o-fucking-kay,"_ She swallowed thickly. " _I'm not okay."_ She nodded up to him easily. " _I'm not okay_ at all. We should go up to my floor and get closer."

He laughed as he walked with her to the elevator. "How about dinner first?"

She smiled up at him. " _Okay_."


	13. Get Along, That's an Order

A/N: I honestly think that they would make the funniest most, destructive, duo.

Tony gasped, drawing the attention of everyone in the in the conference room they were working on, pointing an accusing finger at Natasha who did nothing. "You played me!"

Natasha smiled cruelly. "Like the cheep kazoo you are."

He gasped even more dramatically. "Cheep? I am a solid gold kazoo you elementary school recorder."

Steve sighed, resting his head in his hands as Natasha slipped into her Black Widow smile. He looked up at Clint, who was rolling his eyes as he sank deeper into the seat next to Natasha. He glanced to the side to see Bruce rubbing his head in an attempt to calm himself.

"A recorder helps the kids learn how to read music and start major musical careers. A kazoo is just an annoying noisemaker," She took a careful sip of her coffee. "Like you."

"Listen here you-"

"I'm confused," Vision interrupted Tony. "Why are you two fighting now?"

"Because-"

"Because Tony's a sore loser," Natasha smirked.

"BECAUSE," He snapped. "Natasha is a dirty cheater."

"Oh, I'm a cheater now?" Natasha laughed. "You're the one that started the bet." She leaned back in the chair, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Besides, you should know better than to bet against me."

"That's true," Clint nodded, drumming his fingers on the table.

"What I can't figure out is how you did it," Tony crossed his arms over his chest, walking around the table to her.

"So you don't know how I did it but you're insisting I cheated," She laughed as he walked up to her, purposely towering over her. "Here I thought you were a genius."

"I am," He snapped.

"What was the bet this time?" Clint asked.

Natasha smirked, now in a staring contest with Tony. "He bet I wouldn't be able to steal his tee-shirt off of him during the night."

"That's exactly it," Tony clapped his hands. "I spent last night in my locked lab. I only slept for fifteen minutes and when I woke up I had no shirt on."

"So that's why you were wearing his shirt this morning," Wanda chucked. "Here I thought you two slept."

"I may be known as the Whore of Russia," She scoffed. "But even I have standards."

Tony growled slightly, leaning over her with his hands on her arms rests. "Just admit you cheated you Russian Mafia Mastermind."

She leaned up to meet him. "I didn't cheat you illiterate Big Mac American."

"Alright, Coldwar," Tony snapped standing up. "Let's go. We're fighting."

Natasha sighed standing up. "This will be quick."

Steve closed his eyes, rubbing face only to hear a grunt then a slam on the top. Looking up to see Tony pinned to the table, Natasha standing behind him with his arm twisted around his back.

"Bitch!" Tony yelled.

"Jackass!" Natasha growled back.

"That's enough," Steve boomed. "Romanoff, let him up."

"Yes, Captian," Natasha said stepping back from Tony.

"Harlet," Tony grumbled rubbing his wrist. "Thanks, Cap, that Ice Queen is really getting under my skin lately."

"Shut it," Steve snapped. "I'm sending both of you home for the day. I'm tired of you two fighting like children every day. We are trying to work on a mission that will save hundreds of civilians. Take your files and go back to the Tower. Now."

"But-" Both began.

"Now!" Steve snapped, watching the two of huff as they gathered their things, Clint snickering all the while. "And when you two come back you better be getting along better. Do you understand? I don't want to do what my mother did when Bucky and I fought, but I swear, I'll find a shirt big enough for the two of you to fit in if I have too."

"Ooooohh," Wanda said in a gossiping tone. "My brother and I's handler would do the same for us. The Shirt of Co-existence."

"You wouldn't," Natasha said in disbelief.

"He wouldn't," Tony shook his head. "We'd kill each other."

"I'll tell Fury to look for your replacements then," Steve deadpanned. "Get out. Now."

"Stark," Natasha yelled, announcing her presence as she walked down into this lab. "We have to talk."

"I'll pass," He called without turning over his shoulder from his file. "Thank you please don't come again."

She rolled her eyes, spinning his chair to look him in the eyes. "I have a plan."

"What, do you want a cookie?"

"No," She huffed, trying to convince herself not to kill him. "I need your help. What do you think?"

"Depends," He raised an eyebrow. "What's in it for me?"

"Annoying others."

"Alright," He nodded. "I'm in. Tell me more."

The Avengers gathered sleepily, still trying to wake up, as they walked around in the commons practically inhaling the coffee Sam kept making for everyone.

"Good morning," Tony said cheerily as he walked in from the elevator, two cups of Starbucks in his hands. "How's my favorite Super Hero Group doing?"

"Tired," Wanda yawned. "Whos that frapp for?"

"Morning," Natasha greeted dryly as she entered. Tony walked up to her, smiling as he handed her the frapp. "Oh, turns out it's a good morning."

The simple encounter had everyone staring full of suspicion and possible dread.

"What the hell is happening?" Clint whispered.

"I don't know," Wanda narrowed her eyes. "But I don't trust it."

"Did they finally sleep together?" Vision joined. "You two are always saying that's why they hate each other."

"No," Clint eyed them. Natasha fixed herself a plate of berries and french toast. Then fixed one for Tony, handing it to him. "Couldn't be, Pepper's in town, she just left for work remember."

"Maybe a three-way?" Wanda asked. "I hear those put everyone in good moods."

"They do," Natasha answered making the three jump. "But I haven't taken part of one in… oh… six months?"

"Damn," Tony shook his head. "Do you want me to call some friends of mine for you? No one should go that long without a three-way. It's almost criminal."

"You'd be willing to set me up with a couple?" She asked eyeing him carefully.

He shrugged. "Give me age range, genders, and body type and I'm your guy."

Natasha smiled, taking a sip of her coffee. "That's so kind of you, Tony."

"Tony?" Sam questioned.

"No problem Nat."

"Nat?" Clint chocked on his eggs.

"Okay," Steve sighed. "I get what you two are doing. I said to get along and you are but in a weird and uncomfortable way. Well," He smiled broadly. "I love it. Keep up the good work."

"Natasha?" Steve poked his head in her office. "Do you have any idea why an intern is in my office crying right now?"

She looked up innocently. "No idea. Why?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "He said you and Tony tricked him into thinking Tony had turned him invisible."

She shrugged. "Doesn't ring a bell."

"Okay," He nodded. "I'll go ask Tony."

He walked down the hall, poking his head in Tony's office. "Stark?"

"Yup?" He asked fiddling with a machine.

"You wouldn't happen to have any idea why an intern is in my office crying about being turned invisible would you?"

"Uh yeah," He nodded. "Me and Nat got bored. Tricked him."

"Why?" Steve sighed.

"Well, normally when we're bored we trick each other but we're friends now. So we untied our forces to terrorize others." He smiled. "We're getting along. Just like you ordered."

Steve rubbed his face. "Just… don't… make people cry."

"Steve!" Wanda yelled storming into his office, covered head to two in food.

"What happened to you?" He asked as Hill and Clint stormed in after, also covered in food.

"You ordered them to get along?" Hill yelled. "How stupid can you be so stupid there's a reason Fury and I made them enemies."

"They're too similar!" Clint yelled, throwing his arms up only to have mashed potatoes fly off him. "They encourage each other to start shit!"

"Just today they made six interns think they were invisible, they prank called Putin, they photoshopped Trump giving Kim Jung Un a blow job, not to mention the vents now filled with cream cheese in the gym and to add to that the food fight in the food court," Hill yelled, listening to them off on her fingers.

Steve only blinked. "Well… wait. It's still an hour to lunch being open."

"Oh we know," Wanda growled. "They stole all the lunch food and began running office to office covering people with whatever they could grab. They even got Starks Robot's in on it to cover more ground!"

"And when we all chased them down to the chow hall," Clint continued. "They released a full-on assault! One new guy broke his fucking arm!"

Steve looked terrified at the implications before turning to his computer. "All their reports are in and up to date. Their training is current. They've done all their work." He scratched his chin. "I'll give them some busy work until the afternoon when we get briefed on the mission."

"Yeah," Hill snapped. "You see to that. Meanwhile, I'll be writing reports about those two until I need a new pen."

Steve rubbed his head as everyone gathered for the briefing. In just three hours Tony and Natasha had gotten caught using wheelie chairs and fire extuingersheier to race new recruits in the halls. Races, that should be mentioned, that the two had rigged, swindling the young agents from their money. To add to it they had also been caught planting stink bombs in the vents, something that luckily Clint had prevented the detonation of. Most humorously was when they kicked off the training grounds. Natasha had been 'surfing' Tony by standing on the back of his Iron Man Suit while flying around and 'only winging' people while Tony sang ' _I Can Show you the World_ ' from Aladin. Honestly, it was quite a sight to see and Steve was already working up ways to add it into fights. He shot them a glare as the two miscreants whispered to one another.

"And that will be it. Any questions?" Fury asked, wrapping up the briefing. "No? Then-"

"I have one, sir," Natasha spoke. "For Tony."

Furry raised an eyebrow at her before nodding.

"So if you, hypothetically, created a machine that could clone me." Tony nodded. "And I did it with the clone." Another nod. "Would that be sex or masturbation?"

"What the fu-"

"Wonderful question, Nat," Tony stood walking over to the whiteboard and flipping it to the blank side.

"Furthermore," She began. "What if that clone either went through a sex change or had her gender changed by another mishap, then we did it. Would that be gay or straight sex OR would that still be masturbation."

Tony nodded. "I like where your heads at."

"Also," Natasha continued. "What if a me from another demission or timeline came here and we did it. Would that be sex or just masturbation? Or what if a male version of me came from another demission and we did it. What would that be?"

"Why are you fucking people who are you?" Wanda asked full of concern.

"I mean," Natasha scoffed. "Look at me. I'm supposed to not fuck myself?"

"Fair point," Tony nodded. "I would also fuck myself. It won't matter how much someone hates themselves. You should always take that opportunity."

"Agreed." Natasha smiled.

"Now!" Tony turned uncapping a dry erase marker. "I am sure we can figure this out." He began to draw two female stick figures. "So you're A and the clone is B-"

"Who says I'm not a clone already?" She questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Yes!" He pointed at her. "I love your thinking. Alright, so we'll do the clone first. Now-"

"What the fuck is happening right now?" Fury asked confused and appalled. "You two have been terrorizing this entire base today. What the fuck is happening. Why aren't you two trying to kill one another?"

"Cap ordered us to get along," Natasha answered.

Fury turned to Steve before turning back and pointing at each of the troublemakers. "Well, I'm ordering you two to stop. It. Now. I have enough to worry about besides you two."

"Awe, but we're having so much fun," Tony whined. "And I think we can make a major breakthrough with this whole sex vs. masturbation debate-"

"No!" Fury barked walking out. "Now. Hate one another."

"Well," Tony sighed walking over to her. "It was a pleasure working with you."

"You too," She shook his hand. "I put a laxative in that muffin I got you."

Tony pursed his lips, turning away from her. "If you don't mind, I'll be running home now." He turned back to her. "I put a female viagra in your smoothie. Have fun with that."


	14. Talkin' in your Sleep

Song: Talking in your Sleep by Will Jay

Bucky x Nat

It was a rare calm day in Avenger Tower. Natasha, Bucky, Steve, and Sam were laughing in the kitchen finally putting out the snacks until Pepper and Clint came back with groceries. Tony was lounging on the couches trying to explain football to Wanda while Peter cheered on his team.

"It's just nice to have you back here in the Tower, Nat," Steve smiled as he gracefully shoved a handful of cheese in his face.

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "Since you moved in with Matt we almost never see you."

"I'm not completely living with him," She rolled her eyes smiling. "I still have my floor and you guys see me at Sheild all the time."

"Oh, she comes here enough," Bucky smirked earning a sharp glare from Natasha. He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and began turning them in his hand.

A disgusted face formed on Steve. "I can't believe you picked smoking back up."

He shrugged. "They take the edge off."

"They're also incredibly unhealthy!" Peter yelled, hanging his arms over the edge of the couch. "Do you want black lungs?"

"Accelerated healing, punk," Bucky called back throwing the case on the counter.

"Doesn't stop them from smelling like shit!" Wanda yelled. "Oh! First down! That's good right?"

"Langue young lady," Clint called as he and Pepper walked in, arms full of bags. "The food slave and card holder are back."

"Natasha," Pepper huffed setting her bags down as those in the kitchen began to unbag everything. "I didn't know you invited Matt today for dinner. I hope we'll have enough."

"I didn't," Natasha said emptying one bag. "Sunday nights are Avengers and family night."

"Then why's his car in the garage?" Clint asked grabbing some pepperonis.

"What?" She pulled out her phone. "He didn't text or call me. Friday is Matt Murdock in the building?"

"Yes," Friday answered. "He is currently leaving your room, coming down to the main room."

"Wonder why he's here," Bucky said absently playing with his box of cigs again.

"Maybe I forgot something at the apartment?" She shrugged, anxiety in her veins.

"Either way, a surprise visit from your boyfriend can't be bad," Pepper laughed. "Invite him to stay for dinner, we should have enough."

"Maybe," Natasha drummed her fingers.

"You okay, 'Tasha?" Clint asked, seeing how uneasy she had suddenly become.

Before she could answer the doors to the elevator opened, revealing a solemn-looking Matt Murdock walking out to her. "Matt," Natasha smiled walking over to him. "What are you doing here?"

She began to open her arms for a hug only stumble back from the end of his cane as it pointed at his chest. "Not expecting me?"

"Uh…" She took a step back feeling eyes to the others on her. "No? Should I have been?"

"I was just dropping off your things."

"Oh, I forgot something at home?" She tried to smile.

"No," He shook his head. "I was just bringing your things back here. I don't want them in my home anymore."

"Did-" She took a breath. "Are you kicking me out?"

"Very good, your catching on," He nodded. "Yes, I'm kicking you out and effectively dumping your perfect ass."

"Is everything alright over here?" Clint asked taking a step closer to them. The others began to get up as well ready to stand for Natasha, only backing down when she held her hand back.

"Wonderful actually," Matt answered. "I'm just dumping this sorry cheater."

"Cheater?" Peter asked.

"Matt, honey, I don't know what you're talking about," She tried to take a step closer. "Let's just go to my floor and tal-" She jumped back to avoid the end of his cane once more.

" _You're sneaking in at 2 am,_ " Matt smiled. " You _Say that you're working overtime._ _Then how come we ain't making rent. Do you think I'm deaf, dumb, and blind?"_

"Well, just because I have to stay late to help on a mission doesn't always mean Fury wants to pay," Natasha tried to laugh.

" _Where were you all those nights out?"_ He asked.

"Where ever I said I was," She argued. "Listen, Matt, this isn't the place to have this convers-"

"I'll never listen to you," He answered. "All you say is lies. So _if I wanna find out, I just turn the lights out."_

"Alright," Tony stood up, walking over to the two. "As fun as this has been, it's time you leave Murdock. Closed event. Invite list only. Friday is he on the list?"

"No, sir."

"See, not on the list, gonna have to ask you to leave." Tony clapped his hands.

" _The only truth you ever speak's when you're talking in your sleep,"_ He said ignoring Stark. " _You whisper every name but me when you're talking in your sleep. You've told me all your secrets. With_ my _bed as my witness At night, you prove you're guilty when you're talking in your sleep."_

"So I talk in my sleep," Natasha admitted. "That doesn't mean I'm cheating on you, Matt."

" _I've never seen you touch a smoke And yet I taste it on your lips."_ Matt grimaced.

Steve and Sam looked over at Bucky quickly shoved his pack back in his back pocket. "Jesus," Steve muttered exasperatedly.

" _But I won't blame the Marlboro's, It doesn't add up,"_ Matt shook his head. " _No need for further questions."_

"Okay," She laughed, trying to make it light. "Maybe I've bummed a butt or two from people but Matt I'm-"

" _The bar, his car, even his basement,"_ Matt interrupted her. " _I ain't taken you to these places. I know where you've been, and I can't erase it. So baby, where are you right now?"_

Natasha bit her lip. "Jessica Jones?"

"Bingo," Matt smiled. "You can say anything you want, Natasha, but _The only truth you ever speak's when you're talking in your sleep."_

"Damnit," She snapped. "Fine, you know everything now get out." The sound of a lighter made her roll her eyes. Bucky sauntered up behind her, a cigarette in his mouth.

"Ya know Matt," Bucky smirked. "Maybe if you weren't out all the time being Daredevil Natalia wouldn't have had to come to me."

"Jesus Christ this so much better than football," Wanda gasped.

"Please just shut up," Natasha groaned putting her head in her hand.

Matt only nodded turning and walking to the elevator waiting for the doors to open. "Have fun with the Whore of Russia." He stepped in smiling as Natasha held Bucky's arms back. "Or should I say the Whore of the Avengers?" The doors closed, catching the knife Bucky had thrown.

Natasha turned around, smoothing out her shirt. "Well I don't know about the rest of you but I'm starving. Let's get cooking."


	15. Chapter 15 Christmas Cookies

Song: Christmas Cookies by George Strait

Sheild had fallen three years ago and was now rebuilt for one year. On the express 'invitation' of Fury as well as Stark and the other Avengers, Natasha and Steve were finally coming back from their search for Bucky as well as their time in hiding. Shield falling hadn't made them popular with… well, anyone making both of them (Natasha more so) public enemy number one. When they weren't running for their lives and creating new identities they were searching for Bucky. They had come close, even talking to him once, in the long run, they were now coming back empty-handed.

There were many shocks when the two walked through the Tower doors to be greeted by Bruce, Thor, Clint, Tony, Hill, and Fury. For starters, Steve now had a beard. To add to that Natasha was now a blonde. However, the biggest shock came as two small gold bands.

"You're what now?" Tony had asked with a mouth hanging open.

"Married, Stark," Natasha told him with a smirk.

"When?" Clint asked dropping to a squat as he thought. "How? Why? When?"

And all the changes in their dynamic seemed to change the dynamic of the team as well, the stress of the holiday season bringing out even more changes to the scene.

"So what are we going to do for the holiday?" Clint asked as they all sat around at the table.

"I'll make sure we have plenty of good food obviously," Tony said typing at his pad. "And I'll hire the decorators-"

"You don't decorate yourself?" Steve asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah," Bruce asked. "Why can't we do it yourself?"

Tony mentally ran through all the largescale decorations he had, it being Peper's favorite holiday he went overboard with decoration. "We can do some," He admitted. "The tree and all that shit."

Natasha walked over from the kitchen, taking a break on her cooking to lean on Steve's shoulders. "It'll be nice to have a big Christmas again."

"Did you celebrate when you were on the run?" Thor asked.

"The first year we used our actual socks as stockings," Steve laughed. "We didn't even have a tree, just some green paper Natasha cut to the shape of one."

"We couldn't even do gifts," Natasha sighed. "Steve cleaned the blood off of my knives and cleaned my guns."

"And Nat made me cookies," His eyes turned to sparkle as he remembered the cookies. " _I sure do like those Christmas cookies, sugar."_

Clint rolled his eyes, clearly still not used to their terms of endearment.

"Which ones?" Natasha asked.

" _The ones that look like Santa Claus Christmas trees, bells, and stars,"_ He smiled up at her. " _I sure do like them Christmas cookies, babe."_

"Oh those ones," She rolled her eyes with a smile. "I might be able to make some more. But you'll have to start the gym on overdrive." She sashayed back into the kitchen.

"Christmas cookies?" Tony asked.

"The hell?" Clint asked.

" _Now, Christmas cookies are a special treat_ and _The more she bakes, the more I eat,"_ He laughed patting his stomach. " _And sometimes I can't get myself to stop. Sometimes she'll wait till I'm asleep She'll take the ones I didn't eat And put those little sprinkly things on top."_

"Huh," Tony said ignoring him. "Sounds good."

" _Now, those sprinkly things just make it worse,"_ Steve said completely into his storytelling of his favorite food his wife makes, Thor the only one nodding along in the conversation. " _Cause it makes them taste better than they did at first And they're absolutely impossible to resist._ Some disappear to who knows where _But I make sure I get my share_ _And those kids_ from the orphanage we stayed at one year _just stand there waiting for the ones I miss."_

"Congrajulations," Tony drawled. "You make your 'wife' slave over the oven to feed your super soldier crave for food."

" _Now, there's a benefit to all of this,"_ Steve corrected with a smirk. " _That you might have overlooked or missed So now let me tell you the best part of it all. Every time she sticks another batch in the oven_ _There's fifteen minutes for some kissin' an' a'huggin'."_ A large goofy grin covered his face. " _That's why I eat Christmas cookies ALL YEAR LONG."_

Natasha walked back into the room with a tray of fresh cookies, putting a plate in front of Steve and another larger on the middle of the table. "Go ahead and try some," Natasha smiled. "They're good enough to get me a husband."

Steve smiled, pushing his seat out to pull Natasha onto his lap as he bit into a cookie. " _I sure do like those Christmas cookies, sugar."_ He smiled eating another. " _I sure do like them Christmas cookies, babe."_


	16. Bubbly

AN/ A request from a guest to do "Bubbly by Colbie Caillat" as a Natsharon fic. Not really my ship, I'd rather put Nat with Hill but what the hell I'm a whore for comments and reviews so here we go.

 _Will you count me in?_

Natasha drummed her pen against her notebook as she stared down Sharon on the other side of the couch. The two were cuddled on Natasha's couch under a blanket that Sharon had brought with her. It had become a sort of a tradition the two had started after Hill and Pepper ordered a 'girls bonding' day during which the two spies found how much they truly had in common. Since that fateful day, the two decided to get together every weekend they were both in town.

Their feet were tangled together under the blankets as Sharon sipped on her tea watching a sappy romance movie she had brought over and put on for both of them. Meanwhile, Natasha claimed that she would be watching as she did work. She was supposed to be working on battle plans and formation for the Avengers next mission, but her mind seemed to wander as she watched Sharon's soft pink lips sip on the rim of Natasha's favorite coffee mug. Not that she really cared at this point. Her breath caught in her lungs as Sharon's blue eyes looked over to her with a smile.

" _The rain is falling on my window pane-"_

"My window pane," Natasha reminded with a playful smirk.

" _But we are hiding in a safer place, under covers staying safe and warm,"_ Sharon leaned over to her, snatching her notebook from her hands, as she closed it, tossing them on the coffee table. "You know…" Sharon went on, telling Natasha a story about a group of people she had to train.

 _You give me feelings that I adore._ Sharon began to hold Natasha's mint and thought as she went on with a story about her day. But what was she gonna say? When she made Natasha fee this way?

"Which is so fucking dumb, right?" Sharon asked, pulling Natasha from her momentary lapse into thoughts of the beautiful blonde on her couch.

" _I just mmmmmm…"_ Natasha smiled, fighting back a blush. "Yeah."

"You weren't paying attention were you?" Sharon smiled slyly. "No matter, I'll just tell you again later." She looked down at her empty cup. "I'm going to make some more tea. Think you're willing to try some this time?"

Natasha stretched slightly. "Well, if you're offering to make me some I sure as hell wouldn't turn it down."

Sharon smiled, throwing the covers off of herself as she untangled their legs. "Alright then, I'll go make some." She leaned forward, pausing the movie before sauntering off, seemingly adding a bit sway of her hips making Natasha lean slightly over the back of the couch to follow their path.

Natasha again was struck by how she felt around her friend. It started in her toes and made her crinkle her nose. Where it goes, she would always seem to know that for some reason Sharon made her smile. It had gotten to the point where Natasha was willing to beg Sharon to spend a little while with her. Purposely they seemed to take their time with most things, when work and outside forces allowed, at least.

" _Wherever you go,"_ Natasha whispered as she watched Sharon boil the water.

As the tea kettle boiled, another gift from Sharon Natasha had received recently, she began to get the cups ready, resting the tea bags in each cup. She was wearing pajama shorts she had stolen from Natasha when the spaghetti Natasha had made them spilled into Sharon's lap. While Natasha cleaned it, calling jokes at Sharon for being a clutz, she had gone back and changed into something of Natasha's. Her mouth had dropped when Sharon came out, barefooted in her flannel booty shorts with a small tanktop she must have searched in the back of Natasha's dresser for since it had her Widow simple on it. A gift from Stark she had at that moment decided to write a thank you note for.

" _Dada dumdudum dumdadadadadum,"_ Sharon had begun to hum and sing softly to herself as she began to pour the crying kettle into the cups. Natasha looked her up and down, deciding with a small but excat nod that she loved the view of Sharon in her clothes and would do whatever it took to see her in them more. " _Ohbodododododododum mmm mmm."_ Wait. Love? When-When did that happen excatly? "Here you go Red." Sharon smiled handing her a cup of peppermint tea.

Natasha blinked once again startled from her thoughts before smiling as she took her cup, careful to avoid Sharon's hands. "Don't call me Red," She sniffed the strong tea. "You're not Stark."

"Fine," She smiled. "What should I call you then? Honey? Sweety? Fire Cracker?"

Natasha could feel a blush forming on her cheeks as she sunk back into her couch, trying to duck behind her mug. "Whatever's fine I guess."

Sharon smirked, at her as she hit play on the movie, once more going back to the epic love story that was apparently playing out. Natasha's mind, however, drifting back to a different epic love story ready to play out.

Had she been alseep for a while or something? Her eyes widened as Sharon reached over to her, tucking Natasha's side in. "You seem cold are you okay hun?"

Natasha's eyes widened. "Uh huh." She said quickly, nodding. Sharon smiled once more befoer going back to the movie.

She had just tucked Natasha in like a child. Ironic, considering that love was for children and Natasha had just let the disturbing term pop into her own mind. Natasha felt herself settle more into the couch as she squinted in deep thought at Sharon. It seemed that the few times she had held her in her arms that Natasha had been more than comfortable enough. It was… nice… warm…

Natasha shook her head slightly, burrowing deeper into her couch. The feeling hit her again as Sharon sent her a wink. It almost started in Natasha's soul, if she even had one. Her mind drifted back to the day that Sharon had kissed Natasha's nose. She had thought it was nothing more than a way to win the spar they had been locked in for a half hour at the time. Clearly, it worked since Sharon had then pinned her before demanding a victory lunch paid for by the loser. Normally Natasha would be pissed about losing and then having to buy anything for the person who had beat her… but she had smiled. Seeing Sharon take her time and having to be held so tight by her to win really had been worth having to buy a couple hamburgers.

" _Wherever you go I always know,"_ Natasha mused. " _'Cause you make me smile Even just for a while."_

Sharon smiled quizzically at her. "Are you sure you're feeling alright? You've been weird since dinner. Did you give yourself food poisoning?"

" _I've been awake for a while now_ but _You've got me feelin' like a child now."_ Her instinct was to hide deeper into the couch, however, she forced herself not to.

"Oh?" Sharon flipped off the TV, never taking her eyes off of Natasha as she twisted to look at her. "And why's that?"

" _'Cause every time I see your bubbly face,"_ Natasha tried and failed to fight off a blush. " _I get the tingles in a silly place."_

"Uh huh," Sharon scooched forward. "Where?"

" _It starts in my toes And I crinkle my nose Wherever it goes I always know."_

A large smile covered Sharon's face. "What is that you know, hun?"

"Th- _That you make me smile Please stay for a while now Just take your time Wherever you go,"_ Natasha took a deep breath, pushing herself up from the couch. "Sharon I… I don't wanna make things weird or anything but would you like to go out sometime? Like… on a date?"

Sharon let off a breathy laugh, leaning forward to kiss Natasha's nose for a second time. "Hun, we've been dating for a few months now."

"We have?"

"Yeah. We go out every Friday, we spend every day we're off together, we buy each other food, we cock block at clubs," Sharon laughed. "We hang on each other all time. You're telling me you really didn't…" Natasha's eyes were larger than a deer in headlights. Sharon smiled at the naivety of her sweet girlfriend. "Damnit, I owe Clint two hundred dollars."

"But you- we haven't even kissed yet and-" She was cut off as Sharon leaned over her, placing a sweet, soft kiss on Natasha's lips.

"I thought you wanted to take things slow," She laughed. "My bad, won't do that again."

Natasha blinked twice, slowly before a devilish smile crept onto her face. "You were right. I'm freezing out here. Maybe we can go to my room? My bed is a lot warmer you know."

"Uh huh," Sharon giggled. "I bet it's even warmed when I'm in it with you isn't it?"

Natasha smiled like a cat. "How about we go find out?"


	17. Hammer Time

AN: Just a little thing I thought of and thought was cute.

They all sat around the commons drinking, the party having ended a few hours prior. Natasha sat on the couch with her legs tucked under her, leaning heavily on the armchair. She smirked to Steve, who sat on the floor beside her, chugging water trying to ignore her constant advances. Hill sat beside her, rolling her eyes as Clint spun his drumstick on the floor in front of them.

Thor sat on the couch across from them, a smirk on his lips as he watched Tony and Rodney try and lift his hammer. Bruce stepped up next, screaming as he pretended to turn into Hulk. "I believe it is your turn, Lord Steven?"

"Yeah, Lord," Natasha smirked down at him. "Show Tony how it's done."

Steve sighed, rolling his eyes as he got up putting his hands on the handle he pulled, feeling it lighten carefully and seeing the panic in Thor's eyes he decided to let it fall back down. He didn't feel like becoming a king anytime soon, besides, he didn't want a problem with Thor. He sighed, holding up his hands as he shrugged. Smiling he went back to his seat by Nat.

"Did I see correctly?" She whispered against his ear.

He blushed, whispering back in her ear. "I don't know what you're talking about ma'am."

She laughed throatily. "I'm sure you don't."

"Lord Barton?" Thor questioned.

"Pass," He smiled. "I tried it once when it was still stuck. Didn't work then, won't work now."

"Very well," Thor smiled. "Lady Natasha?"

"Oh no," She took a swig of beer. "That's not a question I need to be answered."

"Oh," Hill nodded in understanding. "See I didn't know you were a chicken."

Natasha raised her eyebrows. "Wow, Hill, maybe you need to slow down. You get feisty when you're drunk." She smiled.

"True," Hill grinned. "But I at least tried it."

She now rolled her eyes. "Sure, before you fell on your ass."

"Try it and Steve might be impressed," Hill said in a sing-song voice.

"No I wouldn't," Steve laughed.

"If I'm going to try only to fail, I need better incentive," Natasha challenged.

"H-How about a date?" Steve blushed.

"I try and lift it and get Captian America to take me on a date?" Natasha asked in shock. "What do I get if I actually can lift it?"

Everyone laughed at the eager question. Steve chuckled, looking up at her with a blush and smile. "I'll marry you, hows that?"

"Well," Natasha huffed out a laugh standing up. "At least I'll get a date." She put her hand on the grip, knowing for a fact she wouldn't be able to lift it, one or two hands, there was no way. She smirked, tugging on the hammer. The room quickly quieted as she held the hammer at eye level, stumbling back from the ease of lifting it. She turned to the gaping mouth of Steve. She shrugged, stunned herself. "So… Summer wedding?"


	18. Bury a Friend

Bury a Friend by Billie Eilish

Clint sat with his feet up on the tabletop, leaning back in his chair, watching as he ate his burrito. The TV showed a live feed of the Black Widow's cell where she was currently rocking back and forth in the corner, the lights turned off of her own will. He swallowed the last of his burrito, watching as tears silently began to fall from her eyes. Clint leaned back further, sighing as he watched her rock herself in her dark cell.

He had brought her in only a few months ago and her already fragile mental state seemed to continue to diminish. She had gone from speaking a few clipped words to just nodding until one day she stopped responding altogether. She no longer used the bed in her cell, instead, she sat in a corner, only getting up once or twice a day to go to the bathroom. Not that she was eating, every paper tray of food slid to her laid in a pile by her door.

Clint had tried to speak with her on multiple occasions, in the beginning, he would get a few answers, attacked once on accident when he spooked her, but now he found talking to her was the same as talking to a wall.

"Good job, Barton," Fury's voice spoke up behind him, startling him to sitting up straight. "Instead of killing her like ordered, you decided to bring in a comatose assign who is arguably better than you or me."

Clint only sighed, knowing the truth in it. "Yeah. Have you seen this before?" He asked motioning to the screen. "You've dealt with a lot of us before. I mean, I know I was a bit moody when I first came into Sheild-"

"We haven't decided on that as the name yet," Coulson snapped coming up behind Fury.

Clint and Fury's eyes rolled. "Have either of you had to get through to someone like this?" Clint resumed asking.

"A few children," Fury shrugged. "You know, in a rescue mission or as random people in the places at wrong times."

"Me too," Coulson agreed taking one of the empty chairs. "I mean, you weren't easy to get along with when we first met but that was a more moody teenager than a comatose assassin."

"It's been four months of this," Fury reminded staring at the screen. "You have one week until we pull the plug on his idea of yours and I put a bullet in her head and end her misery. Bet she wouldn't even mind."

"Probably not," Coulson agreed. "Poor thing."

"I'm not giving up on her just yet, Fury," Clint stood up. "Give me two months and I'll have her talking again."

"You've got one month to get her having full conversations with everyone in this room-"

"Just us three, sir," Coulson smiled.

"Or I put her out of her misery," Fury continued on, walking out the door.

Clint sighed in frustration. "What time is it?"

Coulson looked at his watch. "Twelve till one, why?"

"She's going to get her lunch soon." Clint grabbed his second burrito and began to leave the room. "Mind watching in case she tries to kill me again?"

Coulson stretched out as Clint had been before the two had interrupted his lunch. "Sure. I might let her though."

Clint shrugged leaving the room. "Either or is fine."

The locks to her room clinked and deep, unlocking, as Agent Clint Barton strode into her room. He stopped at her light switch. "Ya mind if I turn the lights on?" Silence. "Right. Say something if you want to leave the lights off." Silence again. "I'm taking that as an okay to turn the lights on." Both of them flinched as the bright fluorescent lights flickered on. He looked around, pulling one of the small tables that had been attached to the wall, away from Natasha and the bed. He sat a good few feet away from her, leaning against the wall with his legs outstretched. "I'm gonna throw this bag to you." He told her, wanting to avoid startling her once more.

The bag slid against the metal floor, stopping three feet from her. She didn't even look at it.

"No weapons, in the bag or on me," He told her, not looking at her to avoid giving her another unnecessary stressor or trigger her further. "It's a burrito. Beef. Lettus. Tomato. Salsa. Hot sauce. Sour cream. Shredded cheese, Colby I think." He told her. "Not sure if you're allergic to anything. White tortilla. Got it from Taco Bell about an hour ago."

Still, she didn't make a move or sound. "You don't have to eat it if you don't want. Just thought that you might want something better than the cafeteria food they've been giving you. Unless you like it, then you have a weird way of showing it you know, by not eating it." He stretched, standing. "I'm gonna get going. I'll be back tomorrow. Either with another burrito or something else. See ya later."

"Did she eat-"

"She's eating it," Coulson yelled at him as he walked back into the viewing room. "She's eating it!"

Clint smiled, leaning over the chair to watch as Natasha devoured the burrito.

A few weeks later, Clint was once more eating lunch in Natasha's cell. The first week or two Natasha refused to eat until he had left the room. Now, she would silently eat with him both in complete silence and migraine-inducing lights.

"And so I yelled 'Fuck you whore' as I shot in him the knee with an arrow," Clint laughed. "Maybe not my finest moment but it was still so satisfying to take out the assholes last good leg. I mean, he kidnapped kids and sold them as sex slaves. I think we also made really good breaks with that mission case too. Ya know-"

" _What do you want from me?"_ Natasha asked out of the blue, interrupting him.

Clint's neck almost broke as he jumped, turning to face her. "What?"

" _Why don't you run from me?"_ Natasha's hooded eyes squinted at him. " _What are you wondering? What do you know?"_

"I don't-"

" _Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?"_ She cocked her head at him.

"I…" He swallowed, thinking about what best to say that would answer all her questions at once. "I want to be your friend."

She stared at him, blinking once before nodding as she turned back to her burrito. "Bring me a burger next time."

"That's it? No more questions?"

" _When we all fall asleep, where do we go?"_

Clint walked into her cell for lunch, instead of sitting at his usual spot, he put the take out bags on the table he had reattached to the wall. " _Come here,"_ He told her. "We're gonna eat at the table today. I brought us, Thi, since you liked it so much last week."

She watched him, slowly sitting up from her bed, something he had recently convinced her to use once more, before pulling a chair out to sit across from him as he set up their lunch. " _Say it, spit it out, what is it exactly?"_

"Huh?" He raised an eyebrow.

"You're nervous," She told him. "More than normal. What is it?"

Clint sighed. "My boss gave me a month to get you better. Not even field level better. Just… can get out of the cell and more in socialized I guess. He told me a month, three weeks ago."

" _You're payin'? Is the amount cleanin' you out? Am I satisfactory?"_ Natasha leaned forward, trying to measure his reactions to each of her questions.

"I'm paying for the food, but I guess I'd rather do that then have you starve yourself again," He shrugged. "And no, you aren't, Sheild pays well. But, yes, you are so far. I mean, I got you talking again."

She leaned back in her chair, not yet eating. " _Today, I'm thinkin' about the things that are deadly."_

He looked up at her. "Like what?"

" _The way I'm drinkin' you down,"_ She answered. " _As I wanna drown, like I wanna end me"_

He only nodded. "What about your plan to break out of here. You must have one."

" _Step on the glass,"_ She motioned to the plexiglass on the door. Leaning forward she picked up a staple from the take out bag. " _Staple your tongue."_

"Uh huh," He nodded, knowing full well he would be dead and she would be out of the city before anyone even noticed he was missing. "So what else do you do in your free time, aside of dreaming up escape plans?"

" _Bury a friend, try to wake up,"_ She answered. " _Cannibal class, killing the son."_ She swollowed thickly and he noticed more teas hand come to her eyes. " _Bury a friend, I wanna end me."_

"Natasha," He began.

" _I wanna end me,"_ Her breathing began to quicken as she pushed her chair back. " _I wanna, I wanna, I wanna… end me."_

"Natasha," Clint pushed his food aside. "You're starting to panic, take a deep breath and-"

" _What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me?"_ She began to pant. " _What are you wondering? What do you know?"_ She pushed her chair back and began to hug herself." _Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me? When we all fall asleep, where do we go?"_

" _Listen,"_ Clint had moved from his seat and was kneeling in front of her, his hands on her knees. "What did you expect us to do? _Keep you in the dark, what had you expected? Me to make you my art and make you a star And get you connected?"_

Natasha smiled shakily. " _I'll meet you in the park, I'll be calm and collected."_

" _But we knew right from the start that you'd fall apart,"_ He assured her.

" _'Cause I'm too expensive,"_ She smirked, her hands shaking. " _It's probably somethin' that shouldn't be said out loud. Honestly, I thought that I would be dead by now."_

Clint nodded, reaching on top of the table for something.

"What?" She quirked her head. " _Calling security?"_

"No," He pulled a fork into his mouth. "I'm hungry and multitasking."

" _Keepin' my head held down,"_ She sighed putting her head in her hands. " _Bury the hatchet or bury a friend right now."_

"If you're gonna kill me," He shoved another fork full of food in his mouth. "Could ya wait till I'm done eating?"

" _For the debt I owe,"_ She took a deep breath. " _Gotta sell my soul. 'Cause I can't say no, no, I can't say no."_ She ran her nails over her legs as Clint took another bite of food. " _Then my limbs all froze and my eyes won't close. And I can't say no, I can't say no."_

" _Careful,"_ He grabbed her hands, preventing herself from getting hurt with her own hands.

" _Step on the glass, staple your tongue,"_ She had begun to pant once more. " _Bury a friend, try to wake up. Cannibal class, killing the son. Bury a friend, I wanna end me."_ Her hands began to rake up her legs again with more pressure. " _I wanna end me. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna… end me."_

"I also wanna end me," Clint held her face. "Deep breath. I can go reheat our food. I just want you feeling better. Whether you help us with Shield or not."

Natasha did nothing more than nod.

Natasha sat tensely in Director Fury's office. The man in question was giving her a long speech that some man named Coulson nodded along too as if he was the one who had written it. Natasha was only eased when Clint, who sat on a shelf behind both Fury and Coulson, mocked or mimed the men who were trying to sell their agency to her as if Clint hadn't already convinced her to join.

"So," Her attention turned back to Fury as he seemed to draw his speed to the end. "What do you say?"

"Do you have any questions?" Coulson added.

Natasha tilted her head slightly. " _What do you want from me?"_

"We want you to become an Agent of Shield to be partnered with Agent Barton," Fury answered. "You will have to kill, but I can assure you that for once, you will be doing so for the good of the world."

" _Why don't you run from me?"_

"There wouldn't be any point to it would there?" Coulson smirked. "I figure if all three of us went up against us you'd take at least two of us out. Probably all of us, and you're own demise would follow."

" _What are you wondering?"_

"What Barton saw in you." Fury answered bluntly.

" _What do you know?"_

"You're past," Coulson answered.

Her breath caught in her throat, still, it wasn't something she wasn't expecting. " _Why aren't you scared of me?"_

"Who says we aren't?" Coulson chuckled slightly.

" _Why do you care for me?"_

"Oh I don't," Fury answered. "But for some reason Barton does. And if he's right and you do become an asset then it's a risk I'm willing to take. Worst case I put a bullet in your head."

"Now-" Coulson began.

" _When we all fall asleep, where do we go?"_

Fury paused. "Another dimension." He answered.

"We actually transfer our consciousness to another person with a sleep schedule and personality opposite to ours," Coulson answered.

"Our astral body travels time and space," Clint added.

Natasha smiled, these idiots were going to become her first family. "When do I start?"


	19. Spied Pt 1

Steve cracked his neck as he worked on shading the drawing he was doing of Wanda. It was a simple headshot he was doing of her, trying to get better at hair as well as drawing people other than Natasha, Bucky, and Sam, the only three he had had the guts to ask. Wanda herself was trying to cook everyone dinner with Vision in the nearby open kitchen.

Though everyone had just had lunch about an hour ago, Wanda had thought it would be better if they start early so they could take their time. She glared at the blur that kicked up wind around them, stealing carrots and other ingredients that belonged in their pot roast. Finally, with a flick of her hand, she managed to time it so a scarlet barrier popped up in front of Pietro. He bounced off it, skidding on his face a few feet before stopping.

"Damnit," He moaned in pain trying to sit up. "That hurt."

"Stop stealing the food, you asshole." She snapped back.

"We might need more carrots," Vision muttered.

"Perito will go out and get them," Wanda said chopping a potato.

"I will do no such thing," He sauntered over to the counter. "Not after the way I've been treated."

"The way you've been treated?" Wanda asked stopping her task to look at him. "And how have you been treated?"

"Unjustly," He said with fake self-richness.

"Will you two stop bickering?" Tony snapped from the floor by the coffee table. "I have to get this reactor working so we don't need to depend on fossil fuels."

"Yeah, and this crossword book is killing me," Bruce agreed. He looked up to see Tony staring at him. "What?"

"The crossword puzzle is more important than me finding a new renewable resource for cars?" Tony scoffed. "Sure."

"Hey," Bruce sat up in his seat across from Steve. "They calm me."

"This is all wrong!" Thor yelled at a book of Norse Mythology. "Loki never had relations a horse. He turned himself and the woman _into_ horses."

"What he just forgot to turn them back?" Steve asked.

"Oh, no, he purposefully left her a horse," Thor explained. "Her father was threatening to kill her. Now _that_ was a long story."

" _Mr. Stark,"_ Friday said silencing them. " _Agent Barton and Agent Romanoff are making fun of you again. Plotting will most likely happen in five minutes."_

"Thanks, Friday," Tony said putting down his work to sit on the couch. "Play the feed."

" _On grounds?"_

"Of personal safety."

" _Accepted,"_ Friday responded turning the large flat screen on to display the view of Natasha's personal living room.

"You've been spying on us?" Bucky asked coming back from the bathroom. "What the fuck Stark?"

"This is such an invasion of privacy!" Wanda yelled, the three walking from the kitchen to stand behind the couch. "Friday shut this off!"

"No don't!" Tony snapped before turning to her. "Do you know what those two have done to me? They've painted my suits, rewired them so everything smells like dead bodies, changed programming so Friday's voice is Barton's they even sent my search history to Peper!" He shook his head turning back to the screen. "And that's just the shit they've done to my suits. I'm not letting them get the drop on me anymore. From now on I'll be prepared."

 _Natasha flew into view sitting on a rollie chair being pushed by a fire extinguisher. Clint came into view more slowly, instead of a straight path she was on Clint had decided to make himself spin in circles. Natasha sighed, pushing her chair to her desk and putting the fire extinguisher by it as Clint spun out and fell on the floor._

" _Shit that's fun," He laughed._

" _Yeah," Natasha said sadly._

" _Nat come on, that always fixes things," He whined sitting up and swaying._

" _It's fun, Barton, I'm just… I'm not in the mood," She shrugged sitting down at her kitchen island, laying her head on her crossed arms._

" _What can I do?" He asked walking on his knees to her. "What can I do to make you smile again?"_

" _It's nothing Barton," She said with a dull edge in her voice. "Just leave me alone."_

" _Nope," He hopped up, sitting on top of her counter in front of her. "Let's try the impressions again. We'll start with Tony."_

" _Clint," Natasha sighed. "Just-"_

" _Pepper!" Clint yelled dramatically. "I'm dying. I'm dying without you!" He hopped down to his feet dramatically throwing himself against the refrigerator. "Please take me back and deal with all my bullshit. After all, I am Ironman."_

"The disrespect," Tony shook his head turning to see everyone fighting back tears.

"Hey he's pretty good," Buck laughed.

" _Nothing?" Clint asked. "Fine how about Bucky?" He squared his shoulders and brooded. "I'm a mass weapon. I only love Steve and plums. I swear I'm not gay. Fuck that Sam dude. NOT LITERALLY!"_

Everyone laughed as Bucky held back his murderous impulses.

"You're right," Tony whipped his eye. "He is pretty good."

" _Not even a smile?" Clint asked her as she pouted. "Alright. How about Cap?" Her head perked up as Clint put a hand over his heart. "I'm Captain America. I am selfrichours and a hypocrite and-"_

" _Shut up Barton," Natasha snapped standing up to walk over to the couch, she sat on the back of it._

" _Then tell me what's wrong," He argued. "You've been moping around in your room for weeks now and whenever you're with the others you are fake as fuck and quite."_

 _Natasha sighed, looking away from him. "I'm thinking about leaving the Avengers."_

"WHAT?"

" _What?" Clint snapped. "What the hell do you mean?"_

" _We have enough bodies now, and besides my skills-"_

" _You're skills have saved each and every one of us at least ten times now, Tasha." Clint interrupted. "Yes we have more people but we only have one you."_

" _I already talked to Fury about it." She said defensively._

" _And what did One Eye say?" Clint asked._

 _Natasha looked away. "He laughed and walked away."_

" _Uh huh," Clint smiled._

" _I just," Natasha pushed off the couch and began pacing leaving Clint to take the now empty seat. "I just don't know anymore Clint. I'm compromised."_

 _He rolled his eyes. "How so now?"_

" _It's… gross." She crossed her arms as she walked. "I have friends and almost a family. Well, a family if you believe that whole '_ we choose our real family' _crap." She shivered to stop in front of him. "I'm not meant to have a family and friends, Clint."_

" _Natasha-" Clint sighed knowing where this battle was leading._

" _No, Clint," Natasha snapped. "I have no place in this world. I should have died a hundred and one times by now but I didn't, no matter how much I should have or wanted to."_

" _That's the Red Room talkin', Nat," Clint walked over and tapped her head. "You wouldn't have family and friends if you didn't belong in this world."_

" _I'm still alone Clint," She scoffed going to sit on the couch. "As it should be I guess."_

" _Okay," Clint nodded sitting next to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "I'll work on setting you back up again. Get you a good man or lady to spend the rest of your life with."_

" _No thanks," She muttered. "For all we know I'll die tomorrow."_

" _Even more reason to find someone," Clint smiled. "Come on, Nat, even Cap scored a date with Sharon." Natasha openly scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Oh." Clint smiled like a cat. "Oh, I know what it is."_

 _Natasha sat up, clearly unhappy she let an emotion slip. "What?"_

" _What really has you pouting and acting all bitchy," He smiled like the Cheshire cat. "It's all about that guy you like."_

"Holy shit she's blushing," Tony gapped.

" _I don't know what you're talking about!" She snapped standing up to go to the other side of the couch. "I don't like anyone."_

" _Oh yes you do," Clint smiled following her. "I've seen it. You really are compromised, Natasha."_

" _Go shove it up your ass, Barton," Natasha hissed._

" _Tell me," Clint jumped onto the couch. "What do feel when you're around them?"_

" _I don't know," She said annoyed. "Mostly annoyed."_

" _And…" He prompted._

"Natasha has a guy she likes?" Perito asked in disbelief.

"Shhhh," Wanda snapped.

" _S-safe?" She sighed. "I feel safe with him. And God help me relaxed."_

" _Relaxed?" Clint asked taken aback. "You aren't even relaxed with me."_

" _I know," She pointedly raised her eyebrow. "But with him, I'm so relaxed that Tony could sneak up on me in a First Gen Ironman suit."_

Tony whistled. "She's got it bad."

"Maybe it's Matt Murdock?" Bruce suggested. "They did have to work together recently."

 _Clint whistled. "You've got it bad." He shrugged pulling her down to sit next to him. "Look at the bright side. Maybe the date will tank."_

 _Natasha looked at him with her eyebrows raised. "Yeah. I'm sure a date with Steve Fucking Rogers would suck." She smacked him on the arm. "You dumbass he's a perfect gentleman. They're going to go on a date and then fall in love and get married and have tons of little blonde perfect babies while I die alone, bloodily in battle."_

Everyone's wide eyes slid over to Steve who had turned to stone watching the screen, his sketch falling to the floor.

" _And what?" Clint scoffed. "You wanna get married? Have a bunch of kids?"_

" _I don't know," She snapped._

" _Jesus, Nat," Clint gasped. "I thought you-"_

" _People change," She snapped standing up. "But the red in my ledger won't. She's better for him than I am. Better fit. Better morals. Prettier."_

" _You've lost your fucking mind if you think she's prettier," Clint corrected. "This is why you wanna leave the Avengers?"_

 _She shrugged. "No. I'm just… I'm just having female feelings for the first time and I don't like it. I tried to get over him. I tried to get over him by getting under Murdock again but." She shook her head letting out a hollow laugh. "But he took off my shirt and I punched him." She shook her head. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I wanted to fuck him but… it didn't feel right anymore."_

" _Oh, Tasha," Clint sighed walking over to hug her._

 _She sniffed back tears. "What do I do? How do Wanda and Pepper go through these feelings every day?"_

 _Clint shrugged rubbing her back. "Peppers engaged to the man she wants and Wanda's probably gonna date Vision soon too."_

Vision looked over to Wanda who ignored him, blushing and taking a step to the side.

" _This is stupid," She pushed Clint off of her and rubbed her eyes. "I'd rather be getting tortured than this." She stalked off screen leaving Clint there._

" _If it makes you feel better," He called. "You're tits are better than hers."_

" _Honestly?" She asked stepping back into the frame, a loose tank showing her sports bra. Her gym bag on her shoulder as she slipped into her tennis shoes. "Kinda, yeah." She walked sighing over to the front door._

" _Natasha," Clint called, making her stop. "Do you love him?"_

 _She turned her head slightly back to him. "I don't know. But I think I could… if I was ever given the chance."_

 _Clint only nodded. "Going to the gym floor?"_

" _Yeah," She opened the door. "I have some tension to work out of me."_

" _I bet," He sighed, stopping at the door. "Hey, you wanna put shaving cream in Tony's suit?" He called running after her._


	20. Chapter 20 Spied Part 2

"Friday off," Steve said in a demanding tone. He turned standing to the others. "This never happened. Do you all understand? We never saw that. We know nothing. This never happened."

"Steve-" Bucky began.

"Don't start with me right now," Steve interrupted. "Friday, delete that footage. It never happened. And Captain's orders are Stark can't spy on us anymore unless I okay it."

" _Captains order accepted,"_ Friday responded.

"Steve you have too-" Wanda began.

"No," He snapped. "I don't."

"I'm defyyyyyying Gravity!" Clint screamed finally making Natasha laugh as they walked out of the elevator.

"You idiot," She laughed letting him lead her out. "I can sing that waaay better than you."

Bucky turned around and silently hit Steve on his shoulder making everyone look back to them watching as they erupted into a silent argument.

" _Go talk to her."_ Bucky mouthed.

" _No. No, I will not."_

" _You punk ass bitch, get over there and talk to Natasha."_ He said hitting him again.

Steve hit him back. " _Watch your fucking language."_

" _One of you idiots need to go talk to her,"_ Wanda joined in. " _She's hurting Steve."_

" _Not now Maximoff."_

" _The kids right, Punk,"_ Bucky said poking him in the chest. " _Do the right thing and talk to the woman."_

"Nah," Clint said turning around. "I'm the real singer here, Romanoff. We know it."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," She laughed turning to look at everyone else who looked like deer in a headlight. "Hey guys," She furrowed her brow. "What's going on, you all look like you got caught with your hand in the candy jar."

"Uhhh…" Perito's mouth hung open.

Clint sniffed the air. "Is something burning?"

Wanda gasped. "The pot roast!" With that, the three ran in to try and save their food.

Natasha chuckled. "Don't tell me that was dinner?"

"It is," Wanda called stirring the pot. "It's fine. See, it's fine."

"Going to the gym Romanoff?" Stark asked casually.

Natasha looked at the room seeing how tense everyone seemed to be and how they were staring at her, not to mention how Steve looked like he was about to fight Bucky. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing," Bruce snapped. "What? Why?"

She narrowed her eyes at everyone. "No reason." She said skeptically. "And yes, I am going to the gym. Why?"

"That's funny," Bucky said shouldering Steve forward. "Steve was just saying he was gonna down there."

Clint and Natasha shared a glance, something was wrong. "Okay," Natasha said grabbing a water bottle.

"Sounds fun," Clint smiled stepping next to her. "I think I'll join in then."

Everyone paused looking at one another. Natasha and Clint looked at one another, something was happening. They knew something for sure.

"Actually Clint," Thor jumped in. "I was hoping you'd… teach me to read… braille?"

"Teach you to read braille?" Clint asked. "Why?"

"Did I say Brail?" Thor corrected. "I mean… uh… Japanese."

"You want me to teach you Japanese?" Clint looked at Natasha, catching a pleading note in her eyes. But then again they did need a chance to talk. "Okay."

"Really?" Thor, Bucky, Nat, and Tony asked.

"Why not, let's get started," Clint walked over to the couch, jumping over the back to sit next to him. "Have fun getting hot and sweaty with Cap, Tasha." He turned to catch the water bottle that was thrown at his head. "Thanks for the water."

Natasha glared at him before turning around. "Whatever, I'm going to go kick stuff."

Clint turned to Steve. "You better hurry up and get ready or she'll be kicking you." He paused smiling at Steve's hesitation. "She's counting on you now. Don't wanna disappoint a lady do you?" He watched with a satisfied smile as Steve grunted before storming off to change. Clint turned to the rest of them. "Alright, what did you people do?"

"Friday," Thor answered. "Play the most recent deleted video."

Natasha had already started her work out by the time that Steve walked in. She turned to him, from her punching bag for a second, watching him plop down his bag before starting wrapping his hands for his fists. She looked away quickly when Steve looked back at her.

For almost half an hour they did nothing but punch things in silence.

" _I'm getting bored," Tony drawled as they all watched the gym room feed. "They're doing nothing._

" _Just wait," Bucky nodded._

" _One of them will break the silence when they both get water, which should be right about…. Now." Clint grinned._

Natasha rolled her shoulders as she walked over to the bench to gulp down some water. Steve awkwardly sat down near, but not next to her, on his bench. "So…"

"So…?"

" _I could cut the sexual tension with a knife," Wanda said chomping on her popcorn._

"So are you excited for your date with Sharon?" Natasha asked with fake cheer. "I just can't believe you're going out with her."

"Uh… yeah," Steve scratched the back on his neck.

" _Come on punk," Bucky muttered. "Say it."_

"About that," Steve began. "I'm not really sure if it is a date."

"What do you mean?" Natasha asked, not interested.

"Well, I just asked if she wanted to get a drink one day after work and talk about how Peggy was doing," He answered. "I heard that was a new medication they had put her on but I couldn't get out there to see in time so I figured Sharon would know."

"Oh," Natasha said in a nearly frozen state. "Why did you tell people you got a date?"

"I just said she and I were going to get drinks, Sam and Tony said I was going on a date then told everyone before I correct them," He shrugged as if being scolded. "She and I are talking tomorrow after work, she thinks it is hilarious people think I would date her and that she would date the man her Aunt loved. She's been correcting people all week."

"She has?" Natasha asked. It wasn't her fault that she had decided to ignore the woman she was jealous of was it.

"Yeah."

"Oh." She looked away, going back to drink her water bottle.

" _Yes!" Bucky cheered._

" _Come on, Nat, come on," Clint leaned forward._

"Well that's too bad," She finally answered. "You two are cute together. Maybe there's hope yet."

" _Damnit." Clint cursed._

Steve shrugged. "I don't think so."

"She's so pretty, blonde and tall," Natasha smiled bitterly. "Just fits you."

Steve did nothing more than shrug. "You're prettier."

Natasha's eyes snapped over to him, feeling her cheeks heat at his comment. "Nice try Steve, takes more than calling me pretty to get in my pants."

"Who said I wanted in them?" He shot back.

" _This is going south," Wanda shook her head._

" _Pull up!" Pietro threw his popcorn at the TV. "Be happy dammit!"_

"Right," Steve nodded with a smirk. "Anyway, I wouldn't want to get into Murdock's space."

"Who says Matt's space in my panties?" She snapped at him.

"Barton might have let something slip once or twice," He shrugged standing up.

" _Don't throw me under the bus you ass!" Clint hollered at the screen._

Natasha growled, capping her water. "I swear, for someone who claims to hate gossip, he sure loves to spread it."

"That's for sure," Steve laughed. "So does Bucky."

"Don't get me started on that man," She groaned. "I once caught him and Wanda in one of the conference rooms, using the dry erase board to flesh out and map all the gossip they had heard."

" _Stare all you want," Wanda muttered watching the feed._

" _We made major breakthroughs," Bucky agreed._

"Ya know," Steve scratched the back of his head. "Buck told me there was a lot of rumors about us."

"Oh really?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," He smiled shyly. "Lots of people think we're together apparently."

"Us?" She scoffed. "Please. We'd be the worst couple."

"Totally," He laughed. "Just terrible."

"I mean," She laughed as well. "We'd probably like, fight all the time. Because when do I ever listen to you. Really," She blew out a breath. "I just like fighting."

"Yeah," He smiled. "And it'd go terrible 'cause I like to fight with you also. And how would I ever make things up to you? Get you ice cream or take you out someplace nice. Probably even, who knows, have to make up sex all the time."

" _Did he just say sex?" Tony gasped._

Natasha licked her dry lips. "Yeah, that's the worst. We'd probably like cuddle too huh?" She rolled her eyes. "Pssh. Cuddling."

"Yeah," He smiled softly. "I bet you hate cuddling."

She made shy eye contact. "Loath it."

"Yeah," He nodded standing. "I guess I should find a girl that likes cuddling, loves when I cook for her, wants to have sex with me, would love cute cheesy dates and wants to help me prank Buck for the rest of our lives."

"Yeah," Natasha sniffed before straightening herself. "If anyone would want that… stupid… boring life."

"Yeah," He smiled. "Maybe I'll try and ask that one girl from accounting out, what was her name?"

"Mandy," Natasha answered. "Tall, brunette, likes apricots."

"Uh huh," He walked up to her, completely towering over her. "That is unless you wanna go out tonight? Get some dinner, maybe see a movie? We can watch on my floor, cross something off my list?"

"You mean... Like a… like a date?" Natasha's eyes widened.

"Y-yeah," He smiled. "If you want to."

"Yes," Natasha smiled. "I mean, yeah sure, if you want."


	21. Die from a Broken-heart

Die from a Broken Heart - Maddie and Tae

Natasha sighed, sitting in the cozy lounge chair that she had insisted to be put into their bedroom. She wiped her tear away with the heel of her hand as she finally held her phone up to her face.

"Hey, Natasha what's up?" Laura answered cheerily over the phone.

" _Hey,_ Laura, _how do you get a red wine stain Out of your favorite dress?"_ She sniffed. " _Black mascara off a pillowcase? Cure a one-too-many headache?"_

"Nat?" Laura turned slightly worried at the weepy tone that Natasha spoke with. "Is everything okay? Are you alright? Is Steve?"

Natasha closed her eyes firmly as tears rolled out of them. She took a deep breath before speaking again. "Laura, _can I come and maybe stay a few days This weekend or next?_ _And hey, how do you get a red wine stain Out of your favorite dress?"_

"Tasha what are you-"

" _How does he sleep at night?"_ Her voice beginning to break as she spoke fighting back another wave of sobs. "Laura _, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy. Am I gonna be alright?"_

"Oh honey," Laura sighed deeply, taking a seat at the kitchen table as she watched the kids play in the back yard. "Are you okay?"

" _I wanna kick myself for falling so hard,"_ Natasha closed her eyes resting her head on her fist. "Laura _, can you die from a broken heart?"_

"No honey," Laura answered sadly. "No you can't but it feels like it."

" _Can you ask_ Clint _if he's got time To come and look at my front door,"_ Natasha took a shaky breath. " _It got slammed last night And now it don't close right."_

"Yeah," She nodded. "Yeah, I'll tell him."

" _And just promise that you won't tell him everything And keep that_ bow _in the drawer,"_ She curled further into herself.

"I'll try but with him, there are no promises he won't put two and two together and hunt that Super Soldier down," Laura told her more than a bit ready to shoot him herself. "But Nat trust me one day-"

"Laura _please don't say I'm gonna laugh about this someday,"_ She took a deep breath as her throat constricted with tears. " _You didn't see the way he drove away."_

"I'm sure he's just as broken up about all this as you are right now," Laura said trying to comfort her.

" _How does he sleep at night?"_ Natasha shook her head angry at the injustice that he was sleeping happily at the Tower while she was sitting in their apartment in the dark crying. " _Laura, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy._ " She took a deep breath as more tears spilled. " _Am I gonna be alright?"_

"Natasha I know that this is new for you and really it's all really hard right now but-"

" _I wanna kick myself for falling so hard._ Laura _, can you die from a broken heart?"_ She panted trying to control her breathing. " _Can your knees give out from praying so hard? Can you go blind from crying in the dark?"_ She took a deep shaky breath as more tears fell asking the question she had been since he first walked out, slamming the door behind him. " _Was it ever really real If he don't feel like I feel?"_

"Natasha," Laura's heart was breaking for her pseudo-sister. "Natasha I know he loves you. Every couple has a rough patch. Do you remember mine with Clint's? I shot him with his own arrow then we made Lila. It'll get better I promise."

" _How does he sleep at night?_ _Laura, the nerve of this guy, To leave me so easy,"_ Natasha took a shaking breath. " _Am I gonna be alright?"_

"Yes, Nat you will be," She told her firmly. "I promise you-you will be. I think you just need a break. Start packing and Clint will be there to pick you up in two days. You can stay as long as you want. I promise. Okay?"

"Laura _, can you die from a broken heart?"_ Natasha wept.

"N- I don't know," Laura admitted. "But you won't I promise. Just. Start packing honey. I love you."

"Yeah." Natasha nodded as tears fell. "Okay."


	22. Sing Your Heart Out

Songs: Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede Waterloo- ABBA Do Wah Diddy- Manfred Man Point of No Return - Phantom of the Opera

The Avengers sat laying around in their commons each doing their own downtime activity as they waited for Steve to come back with food. Tony sat tapping at a laptop next to Pepper who typed on her own, attempting to finish up a small amount of work as Tony did Lord knows what. Vision read a cookbook with Wanda's feet in his lap as she read a history book on America. Pietro laid on the floor with his feet up on the couch in his sister's lap reading through a stack of DC comic books Peter had left for him to catch up on.

Bruce read a new book on theoretical physics as Clint drew in an adult Avengers themed coloring book. Natasha had gone down to the gym to squeeze in a work out while Steve, who had drawn the short stick, ran around town picking up everyone's special orders for dinner.

" _Mr. Stark, update on Agent Romanoff,"_ Friday alerted.

Everyone looked over too him questioning as Pepper sighed, resting her head on her hand. "Tony, what did you do?"

Stark shut his laptop as he leaned forward conspiratorily. "Now hear me out before you all go running to her, telling on me." He said trying to calm them with is hands.

"You got five minutes," Clint told her. "I already have her pulled up on my phone." He drew his phone out, showing her Black Widow icon on the screen.

"So you all know how hard our dear resident spy is to read and understand right?" Tony waited for them to nod. "Now I of all people have had a hard time dealing with the emotional turbulence that is our Killer Queen-"

"I can't count the number of times that we've had to stop her from killing you," Bruce laughed.

"And we all know how creative she is," Wanda mused with a smile. "My favorite was when she tried to scoop your heart our with a spoon."

Tony winced, rubbing his reactor, "I still have nightmares of that. BUT! I've noticed a new tick she's gotten since she had to do that six-month mission with Deadpool."

Clint scoffed. "You're telling me. Her and that freak are now in a pissing contest over the most kills and the most _creative_ kills."

"Aside from that unsettling fact," Tony interjected quickly. "She's started to _sing_."

"Oh yeah," Pietro nodded. "I thought I was the only one to notice that. She's started singing to herself like all the time. I called her out on it and even _I_ had a hard time outrunning her."

"Yeah, I guess she has," Clint mused. "I heard her screaming some Halestorm song from her room the other day and just assumed she was working out or something."

"For all, I know she was, but that's not the important part," Tony waved them off.

"Then will you please tell us what is?" Pepper sighed rubbing her growing headache.

"She _sings_ what she _feels_ ," Tony said leaning forward as if it was his greatest discovery.

"Oh," Bruce nodded along. "Cool?"

"Cool?" Tony jumped up. "This is the biggest breakthrough I've had with figuring out how not to get killed from Natasha in years! An all you say is cool?"

Clint sighed, sitting up from his position on the floor. "Alright, what are your findings?"

"I'm glad you finally asked, Legolas," Tony sat down, typing on his computer and casting it on the TV. "I've had Friday start documenting all the times Natasha has sung or hummed in the Tower. Now, for the past few months, it's been nothing too crazy or out of the normal, a few pop songs. Songs about partying when she's getting ready. Songs about fighting and destroying stuff when she's training. Songs about being confident when she's getting ready for work or a mission. Songs about being depressed and wanting to kill herself-"

"Wait what?"

"Even a few lullabies when she's getting ready for bed," Tony said zooming past that for the time being. "But this is the thing-"

"Can we go back to the depression and suicide for a moment?" Bruce asked sitting up slightly.

"That's just it," Tony smiled. "She's stopped singing those."

"Okay," Pietro sighed sitting up. "I'll be the one to ask. What _is_ she singing then?"

Tony beamed at all of them, a large smile sparkling in his eyes and going ear to ear. "She's singing love songs."

At that Pepper perked up, taking her hand off her face. "What?"

"Friday, what was she singing when you alerted me just now?" Tony asked with a smug smile.

" _It was_ I'm Hooked on a Feeling, _by Blue Swede, sir,"_ Friday answered.

"How long has she been singing love songs?" Wanda asked intrigued.

"Little over three weeks," Tony shrugged, leaning back on the couch, crossing his arms in self-satisfaction.

They all looked at one another, debating just how interested they were in the spy's life and how much that interest would cost them.

" _She is singing it once again, sir,"_ Friday informed.

"Should we take a look-see?" Tony asked raising an eyebrow.

"That's an evasion of privacy," Wanda said in a low voice. "We couldn't… could we?"

"I mean," Clint mused. "She _is_ a spy and uses her skills on us all the time…" He smiled, sitting his back against the couch. "Let's do this. I already know that one day she'll kill me."

"Guys we can't-" Bruce began.

"And you aren't," Tony told him. "Clinty Poo and I are, isn't that right?"

"That's very right," Clint nodded. "Play it on Friday!"

" _Right on, sir,"_ Friday replyed a feed from the gym popped onto the screen. Natasha was currently in a sports bra and leggings beating the shit out of a boxing dummy with gloves. She punched and kicked in the time of the beat.

" _All the good love, when we're all alone."_ Punch. Punch. Kick. " _Keep it up_ Boy _, yeah you turn me on."_ Uppercut. Punch to the kidney. Knee to the gut. " _I'm hooked on a feeling."_ Punch. Elbow to the shoulder. Punch to the side of the head. " _I'm high on beliving."_ She grabbed the dummy's shoulder as she kneed him four times before letting go. " _That you're in love with meeee."_

"See what I told you guys?" Tony snapped, motioning to the screen. "Love songs."

"Huh," Bruce, who was fully engrossed and leaning forward to the screen in his seat drummed his fingers on his chin. "I can't believe it."

Natasha paused as her cell phone rang on the mat a few feet from her. Using her armpit she took off a glove, huffing as she walked over to pick it up. "Romanoff." Her stony face changed as someone on the other end began to talk. "Hey." A cheesy smile pulled onto her blushed face. "Where are you?" A pause. "Just at the gym right now. Waiting for my dinner." She laughed grabbing and drinking from her water bottle while they spoke to her. "A date?" She swayed on her feet, kicking the ground as she grinned into the phone. "No, no, I'd love too. I'm just surprised it's taking so long for you to ask me for another." She rolled her eyes, laughing at something that was said. "Well, a third date," Her voice dropped an octave. "I'd love to go on a third date with you. Saturday?" She jumped on the balls of her feet. "Sounds great. Bye."

"She got a date?" Wanda squealed.

"A third date!" Pepper clapped in excitement.

Natasha dropped her phone onto the padded mat shoveling her feet and shaking her hips with her hands in the air doing what appeared to be a happy dance. As she began to put her glove back on, dancing all the way, Steve walked in.

"I'm back!" He called, hands full of air. "I got all the… What the hell are you guys doing? Spying on Natasha? That's low even for you Stark. Friday-"

"Shhhhhhh," Pietro waved at him. "Shut up!"

"Yeah," Vision agreed just as interested. "Berate us later this seems to be more important."

"Natasha just got a date!" Wanda yelled excitedly.

"The third date at that!" Pepper added.

"And we all know what a third date means," Clint waved his eyebrows.

Steve looked integrated up to the feed. "So she started to dance?"

"She's singing love songs, Captain," Pepper added in a serious tone.

As if on cue Natasha resumed her workout. " _So how could I ever refuse? I feel like I win when I lose!"_ She began a strict pattern, sending two hard kicks to the dummy's face followed by three kicks to the head on the rest. " _Waterloo couldn't escape if I wanted to. Waterloo knowing my fate is to be with you. Waterloo finally facing my Waterloo. Waterloo knowing my fate is to be with you."_ She smiled, taking a breath to spin twice before starting back on her pattern. " _Oh, oh Waterloo finally facing my Waterloo. Waterloo knowing my fate is to be with you."_ With a final kick, the head of the dummy twisted violently, signifying that she had finally broken her opponent's neck.

"Oh my good God," Pietro rested his face in his hands, staring at the screen. "She is so in love."

"I wonder who she's dating," Vision mused as Natasha went back to her happy dance.

"Friday? Is Steve back with the food?" Natasha called as she took off her gloves and began to gather her things.

"He's just returned, Agent Romanoff," Friday replied.

"Alright, I'm taking a quick shower, if anyone asks, let them know I'll be down in fifteen." With that Natasha ran out with a large smile on her face the TV screen going black.

"I need to know who she's dating," Pepper turned to Tony with a gossiping tone.

"Maybe she's giving Matt Murdock another try?" Wanda joined in.

"Ohh maybe it's Deadpool!" Pietro asked joining in with the gossip.

"Alright," Clint slammed his hand down on the table. "I got fifty on Murdock!"

"Oh, fifty on that one agent she's helping train," Wanda said as Tony began to type up the bets.

"Hundred on Hill," Pepper bet. She looked up as everyone stared at her. "What? You guys didn't know that about her?"

Bruce shook his head. "Fifty bucks she kills us with her chopsticks tonight."

"A hundred on Deadpool," Pietro shouted.

"You all are seriously going to spy on Natasha and then bet on her personal life?" Steve asked with his arms crossed, having put down the bags of food onto the floor. "Are you all twelve?"

"Oh please," Clint rolled his eyes. "She says on us all the time."

"So that makes it okay for you to invade her privacy?" He countered.

"It doesn't matter," Tony said abruptly. "We'll find out who she's dating in two days time. In the meantime, this never happened."

"And why shouldn't I tell her about this?" Steve asked, hands now on his hips.

"If all of us are wrong then you collect all the money," Pepper answered.

"And once one of us win, you can tell her," Vision added.

Steve paused for a moment in thought before a smile came to his lips. "Alright," He nodded. "Agreed. You all have till Saturday."

Natasha hummed in the kitchen Saturday night as the rest of the Avengers busied themselves in the commons as they watched her. " _Doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo."_ She sang softly to herself. Pepper was typing on her computer as Tony read a book, pointedly holding the book upside down. Pietro, Wanda, and Vision were all roped into drawing in adult coloring books with Clint on the table. Bruce was continuing his book as Steve read Mary Shelly's Frankenstine.

"I'll be back in a bit," Natasha called to them as she walked to the elevator. "Tony your books upside down."

Everyone aside from Steve dropped what they were doing.

"She must be getting ready for the date," Wanda whispered. "I wonder what she'll wear."

"I don't know but I heard her singing _Point of No Return_ from the Phantom of the Opera when she was making her lunch," Pepper raised her eyebrows, pursing her lips. "And we all know what that song's about."

"No what?" Pietro asked dumbfounded.

"Sex," Vision answered simply. "It's the song where the Phantom and Christine sing about their sexual attraction and how excited they are to 'be one' later in the night and wonder how soon they're characters can sneak away and consummate their love."

"Oooooooooooh," Pietro banged his hands on the table. "She's gonna get fuuuuuuucked!"

"Oh I bet I'm becoming an uncle tonight," Clint laughed.

"Either way she won't be walking right tomorrow," Tony agreed. "I'll dig out the wheelchair for her."

"That is if we see her at all again before Monday," Bruce pointed out. "If the date goes well, we'll be seeing less and less of her."

"While this guy sees more and more," Tony snickered.

"Wait," Wanda said suddenly concerned. "What if she moves out? Or worse, what if _he_ moves in?"

"We can't have that," Pepper agreed.

"Can't have what?" Natasha asked walking back in with a red fit and flare dress tied up around her neck.

"Uhhh…"

"What has you so dress up, Natashalie?" Tony asked as she stopped in front of the group. "Got a hot date?"

She narrowed her eyes at them suspically. "Yes, actually why?"

"Oh just a wild guess," He shrugged.

"So, who are you going out with?" Wanda asked with force casualty.

Natasha crossed her arms. "Why so curious? What are you all hiding?"

"Nothing. Nothing." They all answered quickly.

"Uh huh," She eyed them. "I'm in too good a mood to deal with all of you right now." She turned to Steve with a smile. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah," He answered with a smile standing up.

"Happy will drive you if you need, Natalie, Steve can stay in," Pepper offered.

Natasha raised an eyebrow now turning on Steve. "What's going on." She demanded.

"Nat-"

"No," She held up a finger. "My evenings in danger I can sense it. So what the fuck is happening?"

"It's not my fault!" Steve quickly defended scratching the back of his neck. "They started to make a bet and-"

"A bet?" She rolled her eyes now fully annoyed. "Oh, this is gonna be great. What's going on, now!"

The gamblers began to yell and ramble all at once.

"It wasn't my idea!"

"Tony did it all!"

"It was Tony's idea!"

"I didn't even wanna watch it!"

"You have a really pretty singing voice?"

"I didn't see anything. You didn't know I was blind?"

"Shht-" Natasha held up a finger then pointed it at Steve. "Talk."

"When I came home with dinner the other day I walked in and saw these goons watching the security feed of you dancing around and singing these love songs in the gym while you were working out," Steve said meekly.

Natasha's eyes widened as her face turned red with embarrassment and anger. "What?" She screeched.

"It was really cute though," He smiled small. "It was just after I called and asked you out for tonight."

"Oh." Pepper gaped.

"My." Wanda's eyes widened.

"God." Peirtor covered his mouth.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I wasn't singing and I certainly was _not_ dancing," Natasha scoffed her face red.

Steve smirked. "Friday-"

"And what was this about a bet?" She snapped.

"I was about to yell at them when they started betting then paid me off by saying that if no one won that I'd get all the money," He shrugged. "I figured you'd be madder at me if I didn't make any money off of them."

She paused licking her lips before nodding. "You're right. I would have. Let's get going, I'm hungry." She turned narrowing her eyes at the rest. "I'll deal with you idiots later."

Steve smiled seeing that their evening was back on the path, she took his arm as he turned to those gaping at him. "I'll be collecting money from you all," He paused looking at Natasha as she hummed _Point of No Return_. "Monday."


	23. Truly Madly Deeply

For katiktwilight _Truly Madly Deeply_ by Savage Garden. Thank you so much for your wonderful comments and support.

They knew their rules. They knew the consequences of breaking them. But for some reason that didn't stop Natalia and Winter Soldier from starting their fraternization. It was still the early stages of their forbidden love affair but their love for one another burned so bright and so hot that it made their life as weapons more bearable. Which made their relationship all the more dangerous.

Natalia and Soldat, as she had started to call him, had just finished a mission a day ahead of schedule. Their handlers, pleased by the skilled and timely execution of the mission, granted the two the last day in the hotel to themselves. Of the two twin beds, however, only one was occupied. They both laid naked, tangled together and in the sheets as Natalia laid her head on his broad, scarred chest.

"One day," Soldat hummed as his human hand ran up and down her back. "When Hydra has finally seized control of the world and everything is right and as it should be, they will no longer need us for we will finally have peace."

Natalia smiled, stretching into his embrace. "And they will reward us for our good work. Maybe they will let us marry? And I may get that thing they placed in me removed and we may have children of our own."

Soldat smiled. "I'd like that."

"Me too," Natalia looked loving up at him, resting her chin on his beck. "If we keep completing our missions as well and as efficiently as we have I know we will be rewarded with each other."

His soft warm hand stroked her tangled red hair back and out of her face. "You are my _dream_. You are my _wish_. You are my _fantasy_. You are my _love,_ and _everything that_ I _need._ "

" _I love you more with every breath, truly madly deeply do,"_ She beamed, resting her cheek in his smile.

" _I will be strong, I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on a new beginning,"_ He brought their foreheads together. "You are my _reason for living._ You give my life _A deeper meaning."_

Natalia leaned forward, kissing him before jumping up to sit on her knees excitedly. " _I want to stand with you on a mountain_ , one we climb for fun, not for survival or to complete some mission. _I want to bathe with you in the sea_ not just swim in it because our raft went down and we need to get to land to live." She flopped down onto his arm both of them laughing as they looked up at the popcorn ceiling. "But most importantly, _I want to lay like this forever. Until the sky falls down on me. And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky, I'll make a wish_ and _send it to heaven then make you want to cry._ But it won't be sad or angry crying anymore. You'll want to cry because I'll be pregnant and I'll be your wife."

" _The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty,_ " He agreed. " _That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of The highest power, in lonely hours, the tears devour you._ Next time we're separated just think about how amazing our future will be when we've helped them secure the world and are rewarded with our freedom." He pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head. "And remember how much I love you."

It was almost another year before their love was discovered by a jealous male agent who wanted Natalia for himself as his bride. They had to act fast to escape if they wanted to make it out unharmed and alive. But as the door to the base began to shut and the alarms blared while near deafening pitches as feet marched towards them, Soldat had shoved Natalia under the closing gate, freeing her yet trapping himself.

Natalia immediately began to try and lift the ancient iron gate grunt and crying as she tried to free her love from their torturers. She sobbed begging for him to help.

Instead, his hands reached out cupping her sobbing face and pulling their foreheads together as the sound of Hydra agents drew closer and closer. " _I want to stand with you on a mountain, I want to bathe with you in the sea. I want to lay_ with you _forever_ _Until the sky falls down on me."_

"And we will my love please just-" She took in shaking breaths.

" _Oh, can you see it, baby? You don't have to close your eyes 'Cause it's standing right before you. All that you need will surely come."_ He kissed her, tears of his own falling. " _I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy. I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need. I'll love you more with every breath, truly madly deeply do."_ He kissed her once more than pushed her back towards the open forest. "Now run, Natalia. Run."

"No," She screamed. "Not without you. I won't leave you."

"You have to," He yelled back at her. Turning he saw the first wave of agents begin to charge down the hall to him. "Natalia, please, I need to know you are okay. Run. Live. I will find you, my love." Three agents slammed into him, easily he laid them flat. Turning to her he roared. "Get out of here!"

Blinded by tears, Natalia ran.

He had finally passed all the hurdles to become an Avenger. His memories back and trigger gone, he moved in with the rest at the Tower. Still, they danced around one another, until three months after his first day. When his accrued leave finally hit, Bucky walked into the commons finding her sitting by the window, staring out of it.

"Natalia?" He asked carefully.

Pulled out of her old daydreams Natasha looked up at him with a soft smile. "Oh, James. I hadn't heard you come in." She sighed, sitting up slightly straighter. "How is the Tower treating you?"

"Good, great actually," He nodded. "My accrued leave just hit, so uh I took some."

"You're going on vacation already?" She laughed slightly. "I guess you have earned it, hmm? How long will you be gone?"

"Three weeks," He answered sitting down. "Steve's practically having a heart attack over it, but there are some promises I made that I intend to keep."

She nodded in understanding, figuring some old debt needed settling. "If you need Steve or I will help you. Just let us know."

"Actually, I was wondering if you would, mind, helping me?" He scratched the back of his neck, pulling tickets out of his flannel shirt pocket. "You see, when I was booking everything I hit two tickets instead of one, you know," He held up his metal hand, wiggling his fingers. "These things aren't the best at touch screens."

"You want me to go with you on vacation?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Well, if you do," He held out the first ticket. "We're going to go to the Swiss Alps first and go mountain climbing for a week and a half." He smiled as her mouth fell open slightly, her eyes widening as she carefully took the ticket. "After that, we'll go to Greece and stay on a villa on the beach. I signed up for some scuba diving classes but you know, my fingers, I ended up signing up two people."

He became nervous as she took both tickets in her hands. "Stark helped me with everything planning wise so it'll be really fun. But…" He faltered at her lack of response. "If you don't want to or if you busy or something I'll just take… Steve?" He cringed. "No, I'll give the tickets to Hill and Sam. That is if you don't want to which I understand since I really haven't talked much to you about, you know. I was just nervous and I don't really know how to bring anything up because you got me through everything Hydra did to me you know,"

He could feel himself panic as he rambled on and on. "And don't tell Steve or anything but I really recognized you before him. Really don't tell him that he'll probably cry. But I still like, love you and all that. But I understand it's crazy to assume you still love espically after I shot you so many times. You know what?" His heart was beating a mile a minute as his cheeks turned pink. "Maybe you should just take Barton with you instead of me. I know you guys are close and I haven't really asked anyone but I see the way you guys look at one another I'm happy for you and please say something soon so I can stop making a fool of myself, for the love of God."

She stared at him shocked before a smile crept to her lips. "Sorry, I've just never seen you so flustered by me, Soldat. It was cute."

He winced. "Jesus Christ." He rubbed his face with his metal hand. "Listen if you don't want to-"

" _I want to stand with you on a mountain. I want to bathe with you in the sea. I want to lay like this forever. Until the sky falls down on me._ " She smiled at him, resting her hand over his cheek. "Friday, clear my schedule and push my leave through."

"Will do, Agent Romanoff," Friday called out. "What would you like me to tell the others?"

"Tell the others, Barnes and I will be trying to make our own little super soldiers and if anyone tries to bother us they'll need a metal prosthetic of their own," She smiled grabbing her hand to stand up.

"That's right," Bucky smiled dumbly at her. "Let's hurry up with the rest of our lives, shall we?"

A/N: Requests are always open. Feedback always welcome!


	24. Dumb Blonde

Inspiration: Dumb Blonde by Avril Lavigne

Natasha had woken up early in the morning and locked herself in the bathroom armed with her scissors, Jeffree Star hand mirror and a box of hair dye she had bought that night. Her hair was long once again and she'd had the same style and dark red color for over two years now, making her itch to change it once more. She tied her hair off, trying to figure where she could cut. She was about to go for a short bob until she remembered she was going with blonde again. Natasha shuttered at the memory of the first and only time she had a bob hair cut and had to to go by Lucy. Happy to have that be a thing of the past she started to cut her straightened hair at the shoulder.

She began to mix the baby blonde hair dye, excited for a new look. Natasha had been planning on a new hairstyle for a few months now, due to her constant need to change her appearance thanks to her up rasing, but hadn't decided on what cut or color yet. That had been decided for her by Sharon. After a few missions together and the age-old tradition of gossip Natasha considered her as one of her friends now.

So when Sharron had angerly told her about a few of the male agents she was training making dumb blonde and other degrading jokes, seemingly purposely within earshot of her, Natasha had quickly decided that her next look would be blonde. She also asked to join her for training for the week. Normally her reputation had enough power to make them all behave for whichever trainer she joined, but those boys continued on, even with Natasha in the room. She had wanted to dye her hair over the weekend but when the men started joking about the other girls in the training room Natasha decided Tuesday night she would go and get the things to debuted her new look Wednesday morning.

She walked into the building, smirking as everyone stared at her. The elevator up to the floor where all the Avengers offices were made her all out a smile as all the agents shifted ackwardly as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Walking into the small kitchenette for the floor she began to make her morning coffee. Pulling out her mug she began to pour before she heard an awkward huff behind her. "Excuse me, ma'am but that mug belongs to Agent Roma-"

Natasha turned, leaning back as she smirked into her mug. "Who?" She turned to mug to look at the red and black hourglass pointing at it as he stared at her with his mouth hanging open. "It has my symbol on it doesn't it?"

"Y-you dyed your hair," He pointed out finally finding words.

"What an eye the Super Soldier has," She smirked looking him up and down. "You like it?"

"It's…" He reached out playing with her hair, making her more than happy she had added so many hydrants to it. Pulling slightly on it as the curl bounced back up. "Different."

"You hate it," She fake pouted. Perhaps she should have told him what she was planning, but they were attempting to date so he would have to get used to random changes in her appearance she may not have time to warn on.

"No," He said quickly as his fingers went back her hair. "It's not that. I… I like it."

She grinned like a cat. "You're thinking about dirty things aren't you."

"What?" His hand snapped back to his side. "No… off topic question, do you want to go out tonight?"

She smiled, satisfied with his reaction as she began to walk away. "Dinner at my floor or yours?"

"Mine," He called, watching her hair bounce as she walked away.

No one else held any reactions other than glances and noticeable checking her out until Clint came storming into her office while she was at her computer. "I don't know who the hell you are but if you don't wanna die you should- Oh. Hey 'Tasha I didn't know you dyed your hair."

She smiled at him. "Hey Barton, what do you want?"

"Mission briefing in the conference room," He sat down at the chair in front of her desk. "I thought some newbie was trying to go through your computer or something."

"Hmm," She nodded. "Steve thought someone was stealing my mug and tried to stop them."

"Oh? And how does Star Spangled Man like his girlfriends new do?" He leaned back, putting his feet up on the desk.

"I may or may not be able to walk right tomorrow," She smiled batting his feet off. "We'll have to see."

He pointed at her as he stood. "Gross. You wanna prank Stark before the meeting?"

Natasha was the only one in the conference room, her back to the glass wall as she typed on the tablet inlaid in the desk.

Clint lead Stark, Banner, Thor, and Steve down the hall to the conference room. "I'm telling you, guys, we got a new assistant. Emphansense on ASS. I mean damn." He smiled. "She's a blonde bombshell I think she's in the conference room already." He stopped them before the room. "See," Natasha bent over the table. "Look at that."

Clint looked over to a blushing Cap before the two made eye contact. "You know Stark," Clint began. "You should try to hit on her. I hear she likes handsy people."

"That sounds like workplace harassment," Bruce said uncertainly.

"No," Steve added. "Well, yes but I've heard the same things about her."

"You've heard about her too?" Stark rubbed his hands together. "If Captian Honest says it then it must be true."

"Well I heard she like it really rough," Clint added elbowing Steve.

"For sure," he added.

"This is it," Bruce nodded. "This is the day we all get fired."

"I must agree with Lord Banner," Thor started. "We must respect women not go up and slap their ass for a joke-"

"Come on," Clint interrupted putting his hand on Starks' shoulder. "Look at that tight skirt, and how long have you been single now?"

"I think it's a good idea," Steve nodded. "Just go in there and hit on her. I bet you'll get something good out of it."

Stark clapped his hands. "That's it. My mind is made, watch this boys."

"Ton-" Clint held Banner back.

"Lord St-" Steve put a hand upon Thor's arm.

"Wait and watch boys," Clint smiled as they watched Stark sauntered into the room. He turned back to them, giving them a thumbs up, before walking over to her. It seemed like he was talking, only a few words before he slapped her ass grabbing it firmly. Within a second Natasha had him flipped over the table, leaving him on it laying and groaning.

The men laughed walking in as Natasha looked down on him, her hands on his hips. "Did you get it on camera?" She asked.

"Of course, watch this," Clint laughed, holding his phone up to her. "Saved in the blackmail file."

Tony groaned on the table. "Nice hair Red, looks killer on you."

"Was it hard to convince him?" She smiled.

"Not when Steve joined in," Clint hit his arm. "You saved it."

"I'm just thankful it was actually you," He smiled at her, putting his hand on her back.

"Your hair looks nice," Bruce added. "You had us all fooled."

"It is eerily beautiful, Lady Natasha, which you always are," Thor bowed slightly.

"Watch it, Thor," Steve joked as they all began to sit. Tony dragged himself off the table as he melting into his chair as Fury stormed in to start the debriefing.

"Jesus Christ," He stopped in his track, rolling his eye when he saw Natasha.

"Scare you, sir?" She asked innocently. "Something on my face?"

"Hill, put security up," Fury snapped as Hill typed on the pad on the table.

"On, sir," She answered.

"What the fuck did you do this time, Romanoff?" He growled fists on the table.

"Why do you think I did-"

"You're hair," He snapped. "Last time you died you're hair Sheild fell. The time before that you hacked Stark industries. And let's not forget the last time you were blonde-"

"Ah, Budapest," Clint nodded. "At least it isn't a bob again."

"Natasha's hair only changes when she does something highly illegal," Hill crossed her arms.

"What. Did. You. Do?" Fury leaned even further forward.

"Nothing," Natasha said innocently. "I haven't changed it for a while. Felt like I needed a change."

"I like it," Steve shrugged.

"Of course you do," Fury rolled his eye again. "Just tell me this, are you going to get deported again?"

"No."

"Are you going to be sent to another remote prison that's going to be a bitch to get you out of?"

"No."

"Did you kill anyone."

"No."

"Is what you did in the news?"

"No," She snapped. "I didn't do anything I just felt like switching it up, damn."

He narrowed his eye at her. "Okay. Then it looks… nice."

Hill looked her up and down. "Very nice."

"Now, as for the mission."

Natasha walked into the gym, ready for this training session to end her wonderful, highly entertaining day. She turned to the wall, trying to fish her water bottle out of the bag when she heard the trainees enter.

"Daaaaaamn," One wolf whistled. "Look at _that_."

"Man I wanna break me off a piece of that."

"Good for you she's blonde, those are the only woman dumb enough to sleep with you."

"Boys!" Sharron snapped as she walked in.

"Sorry ma'am," They all snickered and mumbled.

Sharon shook her head, walking over to Natasha as she put her bag down. "I'm terribly sorry about- Oh. Today is going to be so much fun."

Natasha smiled back. "We're doing hand to hand right?"

"We are now," Sharon laughed turning back to everyone. "Looks like we're waiting on a few more. Stay here until I call you or until you just can't stand them anymore. God, this is gonna be so much fun."

Sharron left, beginning them with warm-up stretches and exercises and Natashas went through her phone, her back to them as she listened.

"Look at that ass in those yoga pants," One man grunted.

"I'd eat that," Another agreed.

"I dare you to go take a bite out of it."

"We're in the middle of warm-ups man."

"So? Go get water or something."

"Fine. Fine. Watch this."

Natasha smiled, putting her phone down as she heard him walking over to her. Sharron must have seen the scene starting because she abruptly gave them a two-minute breath before the real lessons would begin.

"Hey sexy," A manly voice came from behind her. "You wanna find out if blondes really do have more fun with me?" She was about to turn around and put the fear of his god in him when she felt a hand groping her ass. Within a second her legs were wrapped around his neck, as she swung in the air, landing on her feet as he groaned on the floor. Everyone looking back at the two.

"Lesson one in the self-defense and hand to hand combat class," Natasha announced. "Never underestimate a person. Never. No one. You don't know who they are or what they may have gone through. Hair color, gender, age, nothing makes someones ability to kill you or kick your ass different. Who's ready for another lesson, hmm?"

"So," Steve smiled at Natasha over their dinner. "How was your day?"

"Very entertaining," She smiled back. "You?"

"Fine," He chucked. "So do blondes have more fun?"'

"This blonde sure as hell did."


	25. Chapter 25 Seventeen Again

Seventeen Again from Heathers the musical

A/N: TBH this song is so fucking perfect for them and I just fucking can't. Really, go listen to this song and fucking imagine them. You gotta. It's worth it. My lord. Ya know what, go listen to the Heathers soundtrack while you're at it. You'll come out with something good.

The scene was quite picturesque if she took the moment to think about it. On a muddy cliff about a story or two high with the wind whipping everyone's hair as the rain beat down on them. It had started as a sunny day, but after Thor had called one too many bolts of lighting in the fight the storm clouds gathered and stuck pelting down rain at such a rate her skin stung as the ice cold water soaked through her catsuit. Thor now took his attention to making sure that the lightning didn't randomly strike the rest of the Avengers.

Not that they could even dodge if they wanted. Tony laid at the bottom of the cliff in a pile of mud, evidence of an iron grip having crushed the reactor in his suit, his faceplate having been ripped off by Hulk. One of the last things Hulk had done was an attempt to save the now dazed and immobilized Iron Man before he had been beaten to a state had knocked him unconscious. Bruce now looked up at them, pulling his tattered pants tighter as he shivered in the calf deep mud.

Clint was taking care of Wanda closer to the base of the cliff as she held her now concussed head, Clint himself with all his arrows broken and a broken leg. Sam was hanging in the nearby treeline, looking on in horror, one wing broke as well as the opposite arm. Natasha shook her head, feeling her own concussion turn her stomach as she touched her bloody lip. She had only lost consciousness for a few seconds but everything seemed to move in slow motion. She looked down at her fallen friends and saw abject horror on their faces as if their world was close to ending.

She looked up a few feet ahead of her at the top of the cliff to see what would make them look like a part of their soul was about to die. Then she saw it. A triggered James Barnes, who had done all this damage to the Avengers single handily, used Captain America's shield to strike him across the face, forcing the American Hero to his hands and knees.

She pushed herself up and off the ground, shaking off the slow motion that had taken over her world as she fought to save everyone else's. The rain stung her eyes as she sprinted, she could see Steve panting up to Bucky as the Winter Soldier pulled a gun out, cocking and pointing it at Steve's head. Natasha slid in the mud, pushing Steve to the ground, kneeling half on top of him as she put herself in front of the gun. Natasha's green eyes glittered up to Bucky's, if he was going to kill, she'd be the first one to die.

Instead, he faltered. It was brief, but she saw it and it bought her enough time to think, her last-ditch effort in an attempt to try and make snap back to himself.

" _Fine!"_ She held a deep breath. " _We're "damaged". Really "damaged". But that does not make us "wise"."_ Her breath shuttered as the gun dipped just slightly. " _We're not "special", we're not "different", We don't choose who lives or dies."_ The dipped once more a small, hopeful, smile flickered to her lips. " _Let's be normal, see bad movies, Sneak a beer and watch TV. We'll bake brownies or go bowling. Don't you want a life with me?"_ She paused, the rain and thunder the only sound anyone could hear, but Natasha swore she could hear their hearts beating as well.

She slid forward, off of Steve who was watching in dazed awe, and onto a muddy patch in front of Bucky. She kneeled before him, her movement seemingly snapping him back as he pressed the barrel of the gun to her forehead. " _Can't we be seventeen? That's all I want to do. If you could let me in, I could be good with you."_ The gun shook in his head and against her head. Natasha swallowed thickly. " _People hurt us-"_

" _Or they vanish,"_ James croaked out.

Natasha's hopeful smiled came back to her face. " _And you're right, that really blows. But we let go…"_

" _Take a deep breath,"_ The gun in his hand relaxed slightly, dropping from her forehead but still trained at her.

Natasha nodded, carefully shifting her weight to stand up. " _Then go buy some summer clothes. We'll go camping…"_

" _Play... some poker,"_ His arm relaxed further.

Natasha nodded smiling as she now crouched before him. " _And we'll eat some chili fries."_ She shrugged. " _Maybe prom night?"_

" _Maybe dancing?"_ He smiled back at her, his arms now at his side, his gun still clenched in his hand.

" _Don't stop looking in my eyes,"_ Natasha stood in front of him, carefully reaching out to rest her hand on her face.

" _Your eyes,"_ The Sheild dropped from his hand with a thick clunk as he put his human hand on her face as well.

" _Can't we be seventeen? Is that so hard to do?"_ Her shuttered out a breath, unsure if she was shaking from the freezing rain or if it was the heaviness of their current situation and how one wrong word or move from anyone would have a bullet in her and in Steve's brains. " _If you could let me in… I could be good with you."_

" _Let us be seventeen,"_ Bucky's breath slowly came from his lungs, unsure if he could breathe with the heaviness of trying to pull himself back from the darkest part of his brain. " _If we still got the right."_

" _So what's it gonna be?"_ Natasha planted her feet at shoulder lengths feeling her hot tears mixing with the cold rain. He was right there, fighting to come back from the darkness, he just needed a push. " _I wanna be with you."_

" _I wanna be with you,"_ He shuttered his answer in a mental battle as he used her as his only grounding.

" _Wanna be with you,"_ Natasha pushed her forehead against his, her hand holding him to her with the back of her neck.

" _Tonight,"_ He gasped, his hand going to the back of her neck in return, pulling her into a rough kiss. They kissed, in a searing passion of attempting to bring each other close, to stay on the same plane and be together. He dropped the gun, it clunked into the mud, quickly sinking, as his other hand rested at the back of her lower waist.

Natasha pulled away, resting her forehead to his once more. " _Yeah, we're damaged."_

" _Badly damaged,"_ He choked out a laugh, feeling the tinglings of himself come back into his mind. " _But your love's too good to lose."_

" _Hold me tighter,"_ Natasha pinched her eyes closed, pressing herself closer to him.

" _Even closer,"_ He sighed, feeling as if he could just be a bit closer to her, maybe he wouldn't shatter as completely and as totally as he felt.

" _I'll stay if I'm what you choose,"_ Natasha nodded.

" _Can we be seventeen?"_

" _If I am what you choose,"_ She pinched her eyes shut fighting back more tears.

" _If we've still got the right?"_

" _'Cause you're the one I choose,"_ She opened her eyes, looking up at him to see her eyes matched hers in desperation.

" _You're the one I choose,"_ He gritted out to her, both of them falling onto their knees on the mud slick hill top.

She pulled him closer to her, resting his head on her shoulder as she looked up, watching the rain fall down on them, faintly aware of the other Avengers beginning to rally up once more now that the fight was over. " _You're the one I choose."_


	26. Stickwitu

A/N: Stickwitu by The Puccy Cat Dolls for Katie (Guest). Thank you so much for the wonderful and kind review! I hope you like this. Whenever I do a request for a song I keep the pairing in mind and listen to the song over and over until I get an idea. It's not as true/word for word as other songfics I've done are… BUT… I think the turn it took makes it work and really adds power to the words the Pussycat Dolls has written. Hope you like it!

Natasha sat up in her and Jame's suit at Avenger's Tower drumming her fingers on the arm of the couch. It was the dead of the night, all others sleeping peacefully in their beds or lab for Tony's sake, except her. She rested her chin on her fist as she stared out the window wall of their apartment. She sighed deeply as tugged at the sleeves of Bucky's hoodie, the only thing she had bothered to throw on as she snuck out of bed.

"Nat?" Buck yawned as he wobbled out of the doorway, his pajama pants hanging low on his hips. "Are you okay? Nightmares again?"

"Yeah," She answered with a whisper as he sat down next to her. She shifted in her spot, leaning up against him. Her back to his chest as he wrapped his metal arm around her, pulling her closer. They sat in silence for so long that when she finally spoke again Buck started back awake. "When are you going to leave me?"

"Huh?" He snorted back awake. "I dunno… probably in the morning when I go get you a donut and coffee from down the street?"

"No, I mean…" She took a deep breath. "When are you going to **leave** me?"

His brow furrowed as moved to see her better, still, she avoided looking at her. "Natasha, I'm not sure what you're asking, but I'm never going to leave you. I love you. You're stuck with me." He sat forward again pulling her closer to him as she finally began to relax against him. "What's this all about?"

She lulled her head back against him. "I… In the nightmare you… There was another girl," She rolled her eyes. "Some bitch you fell in love with and left me. Then all the others liked her more than me too. Something about not being a killer and psycho and I was kicked out."

He pressed his nose to her head, breathing deeply, there had to be much more to her dream to have her up in the living room but if that was all she wanted to share then he wouldn't push. "See, I'd never leave you. I'm only into killers and psychos." He smirked as he could practically feel her rolling her eyes. "You're not a psycho, Talia. I love you and only you, do you understand? I'm with you far past the end of the line. Heaven or hell, wherever we end up, I'll be there with you. Pestering and annoying you the entire time."

He smiled, feeling her finally relax against him with a smile. "I love you too," She smiled, turning her next to his. "I'm with you till Satan has to force us apart because we're annoying him too much." She smiled as he chucked. "And even then, I'll find you again."

"You know what we should do?" Buck asked, his voice dripping with excitement.

"Go have crazy passionate sex in bed?" Natasha turned, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I- Well, that wasn't what I was going to say but we can definitely do that," He smiled down at her, pulling her fully into his lap.

"Then what should we do?" She tilted her head.

"Get married."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Why Sargent Barnes, is that a marriage proposal? I thought you had to ask my dad for permission. And aren't you supposed to get down on one knee or something?" She crossed her arms as he began to roll his eyes. "Isn't there supposed to be a pretty dress or what about that ring?"

"You're just lucky I didn't like you in the middle of battle," He smirked until a memory popped into his mind. "Wait I got just the thing." He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her up with him as he stood up. He walked them back to the bedroom. He carefully flopped her down on the edge of the bed before going to his underwear drawer. She watched him dig around before he stopped at a black box. Pulling it out he walked over to her, staring into her eyes as he kneeled before her.

"Natalia Romanoff, _I don't wanna go another day_ without you in my life. _So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind,_ something we both know we have a hard time at. It just _Seems like everybody's breaking up, Throwing their love away_ as Tony and Pepper did. _But I know I got a good thing right here."_ He took a deep breath, steadying himself as he found himself nervous despite his confidence she would say yes. " _That's why I say,_ I really, really love you, Talia. _So don't you worry about People hanging around They ain't bringing us down."_ He eyed her nervously. " _Baby, talk to me Cause all I'm here to say that I'll be right here for forever ever and a day."_ He gulped. "Will you marry me?"

She smiled, fighting any tears as she put a hand on his cheek, looking down at the small ruby ring. "Yes. I would love to be your wife."

He jumped onto her, pushing her into the bed as they laughed and kissed. "When should we do it?"

She shrugged up to him. "Why not now?"

"Now?" He laughed. "Nat, it's midnight. On a Friday."

"Let's go get married. Trip to Atlantic City by way of Stark's jet should be fast." She smiled.

His cat-like grin pulled on his face. "Get the clothes and shit, I'll wake everyone up."

" _Red alert,"_ Friday's voice screamed through the building. " _Imminent attack. Meet in the common room. Everyone. Red alert."_

"Really?" Natasha looked a Bucky who had a shit eating grin.

He just shrugged. "The fastest way I could think."

"Uh huh," She smiled, resting her arm on her suitcase. "Happy's picking up Peter, everyone else is here. Jet's a half hour away."

"What's happening?" Tony yelled, bursting through the door with only half his iron man suit on.

"Whos attacking?" Steve yelled.

"Where are they?" Clint dropped from the ceiling.

Pietro was in next followed by Wanda and Vision, both half dressed. He eyed his sister and boyfriend before they all turned to Nat and Bucky.

"We gotta get going," Bucky told them, his backpack on his shoulder. "Everyone, get dressed and meet Happy down in the garage in 15. Run. Now!"

No further questions were asked as they all turned rushing away.

The jet was just about to take off when Pepper, Sharron, and Hill ran on, joining them in a huff. "We're here. We're here!"

"What?" Tony snapped. "Why?"

Hill shrugged. "Got a call that I was needed from Natasha."

"Me too," Sharon huffed sitting down next to Sam.

"Me too," Pepper sat on the arm of Tony's chair. "She didn't say why just to hurry."

They all paused as the jet took off. " _Ladies and gentleman you are now free to move about the cabin. We will be in Atlantic City within two hours."_

"Atlantic City?" Peter asked. "I have homework…"

"The threat must be there," Steve nodded. "We'll be back soon, hopefully. Buck? You got anything on what we're flying into and why every Avenger is currently on their way there?"

Bucky looked up as everyone turned to him. "Huh? Oh yeah. Talia!"

"Coming," Natasha called from the bathroom. She stepped out, barefooted into the cabin. She had on a tight white dress, a neckline dipping down to the end of her sternman with a glittering bodice. The skirt was silk, dragging past her feet as her leg slipped out of the slit that went to midthigh. She fastened on diamond earrings, her face already done in full natural glam. Everyone's mouths instantly fell open.

"You're so beautiful," Bucky said memorized by her.

She just smirked. "Ring?" She caught it as he threw it at her, slipping it onto her finger.

"What the hell is going on?" Clint asked his hands on his head. "Are you going undercover or something?"

"No," Natasha shook her head, grabbing a hairbrush from her open suitcase on the floor. "James and I are getting married tonight in Atlantic City. You guys are the wedding party."

"Wait," Tony held up his hands. "We're what? You're what? When? Where? How? Why?"

Peter was the first to react jumping to his feet with his hands out. "Dibs on being the flower girl! No, wait, ring bearer! No, wait, flower girl. Fuck! Both!"

Natasha just laughed. "That we can do." She turned to Pepper who still seemed slightly dazed. "So, maid of honor, you wanna do my hair?"

Pepper's eyebrows reached her forehead. "Me? Maid of honor?"

"I can have someone else-"

"No!" Pepper snapped stealing the brush from her hands with a smile. "Sit, I have just the style for you."

Natasha smiled, sitting in front of a table as Pepper jumped on the top. She looked over to the other girls. "You guys are my bridesmaids." She shrugged trying to stay casual. "That is if you want."

"Yes!" Wanda jumped from her spot next to Vision. "Do you want your nails painted? I'll paint your toenails for you. Blue? You need something blue right?" She crawled over, pulling out a bag of nail polish from Nat's bag before going into it.

"Thank you," Natasha smiled.

Hill sighed. "Alright, you got something blue-"

"The nails," Sharon nodded.

"You need something new." Hill turned to Sharon.

"The dress is new," Natasha answered.

"Something borrowed," Hill nodded to Natasha before continuing. "And something old."

The two girls looked over to Natasha who just shrugged.

"Got it," Sharon nodded. "We're on it."

Tony interrupted them as he popped his neck. "Alright, what do you need me to do?"

Natasha and Bucky looked at one another. "Find a nice place to get married," Bucky answered.

"A hotel for all of us to stay at," Natasha added. "Clothes for everyone."

"A party," Buck concluded.

Tony smiled largely. "That all I can do, but I'll need help."

"Clint can help you," Natasha answered as Pepper tugged at her hair. "So can Vision and Pietro."

"What?" Clint asked aghast. "I'm not a bridesmaid?"

"No," Natasha answered. "You're walking me down the aisle."

"Oh," Clint was visibly taken back. "Oh."

"Punk," Bucky smiled. "You're my best man. No choice."

Steve puffed his chest with pride. "It would be my pleasure."

"Calm down there, Steve," Natasha rolled her eyes. "I'm the one marrying him."

"Alright," Hill snapped. "We have our orders, let's move people. Move!"

In some amazing way, they had all pulled it off. It was a little past three in the morning when they all watched Natasha walk down the aisle. Tony had pulled some strings and gotten them into one of the nicer 24-hour chapels as well as rented them all tuxs and dress that matched the theme. Lilac, surprisingly enough, both Nat and Buck had claimed that red was too hard… too violent… too work related.

They all watched, in their lilac dresses and suit and ties, as Natasha floated down the aisle on Clint's arm. Bucky's breath caught in his throat and his knees buckled when he saw her. Almost immediately after getting off the jet, the girls had whisked her away, claiming that seeing her in her dress was bad luck enough.

But boy did those girls pull it off. Her make-up was left untouched for the most part, however, Bucky did see certain sparkles where there had been none. Pepper must have convinced her into adding highlighter and glitter eyeshadow. Her hair was curled, half up as it cascaded down her bare shoulders to just under her breast. Her dress, her something new, fit even better than he had remembered hugging and flowing in all the right places. Her blue toenails poking out of her borrowed high heels. They were tasteful and glittered in the light, surprising, considering they had borrowed them from a stripper. Her something old, was wrapped around her lilac bouquet, which Pietro was very proud of since the flowers were his one job, was James' original dog tags from World War Two.

Natasha blinked, the only time she took her eyes off James since walking through the double doors, as Clint kissed her cheek, whispering promises and hopeful thoughts in her ear before shooting a warning look to James as he joined the other men. Bucky was completely taken by Natasha, unable to believe that this wonderful angel was going to be his forever. He had no idea what he had done to deserve this but he thanked whatever past life had done some good dead so that he could be with his soul mate.

"Sargent Barnes?" The pastor asked. "Sargent Barnes?"

"Huh?" Bucky pulled his complete and total focus off of Natasha as he looked at their pastor. "Sorry what?"

There were mummers of how sweet he was and chuckles as the pastor smiled. "Your vows, Sargent."

"Oh," Bucky looked back to Natasha. "Right. I… okay." He took a deep breath before licking his lips to start. " _Through everything goin' on, We're right here holdin' on to one another. The reason why I love ya_ is _Your charm and personality. I love your sensitivity. Wait...let me take a second."_ He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to fight tears of happiness. He looked up smiling when Natasha's hand caressed his cheek. He smiled, resting his hand on hers. " _Cause I'll be your love and essence._ I _Only wanna hear your voice speak. And I feel your body heat. Love every minute of it_ with you. _You're like the fresh air_ to me. And _When it feels like no one cares_ you're right there with a bottle of vodka and a blanket. _That's why I'm saying, baby…"_ He smiled, taking a deep breath. "We've been through it all, Natalia. From Hydra and the Red Room. To being on the run and healing. To having a real life, and doing good with that second life, with the Avengers. We have the family we always craved. _And now, Ain't nothin' else I could need. And I'm singing 'cuz you're still so into me. I got you. We'll be making love endlessly. I'm with you_ and _Baby you're with me."_ He smiled, slightly proud of the sniffles and tears in her eyes before he shifted looking to the pastor. "That's all I got."

"That's more than enough, son," He nodded pleased before turning to Natasha. "Agent Romanoff?"

Natasha took a shaky breath. "For most of my life, I felt that no one would love me. But now I know that _Nobody gonna love me better. Nobody gonna take me higher. You know how to appreciate me. I must stick with you, my baby. Nobody ever made me feel this way. You're a shelter in a storm,_ and I know you feel the same for me. _I'm right here You're keeping me away from harm. I'm never gonna leave you. You're a song with beautiful words_ but you say that _I'm your song. Something that I never heard."_ She chuckled, shaking her head. " _You know how to appreciate me_ when everyone else sees me as a killer. _I must stick with you. I love you, you're my baby."_ She sighed, resting her hand on his cheek again. " _My baby… Nobody ever made me feel this way. I must stick with you."_

"Well said," The pasture nodded. "With the power vested in me by God and State… I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Bucky pulled her to him, initiating a smooth, soft kiss their lips brushing together before Natasha deepened the kiss, pulling him flush to her as she bit his lip. Right before he could wiggle his tongue into her mouth, Natasha pulled back.

The pastor cleared his throat. "Ladies and gentlemen. I would like to introduce everyone to Mr. and Ms. Barnes."

Fury sighed, a small smile on his lips as him and Coulson huddled in his office, watching the security feeds from the 24hr Chapple. Everyone clapped, large smiles as on every face as Sharon began to pose them for a picture.

"I wish we could have been there," Coulson shook his head.

"We barely made it back stateside by the time it started," Fury shook his head. "We'd be landing right as the after the party started. Least we get to watch this way."

"Yeah," Coulson sighed again. "Still."

Fury leaned back in his chair. "I mean… we could… always go to the after party…"

Coulson smiled. "I'm glad you said something, I already have people getting the jets ready."

A/N: KEEP REQUESTING! It can be any song (I need the title and band) or any other type of prompt you want! Don't forget to add the pairing you want also! AND KEEP REVIEWING


	27. Interview

AN: Sorry for the delay in posting. I'm Bi-Polar and the depression hit like an anvil.

"I don't wanna be here."

"Saaaaame."

"Shut it, both of you," Tony snapped at Nat and Clint as they walked into the Entertainment Tonight's building.

"Why must we do this again?" Bruce groaned dragging his feet. "We're the Avengers, not celebrities."

"You all took a major hit last week when Hydra blew up that hospital," Maria reminded leading them down the hall of them. "You need to clear your names and get the people behind you again or the Accords will make another appearance, and _none_ of us want another Civil War to happen do we?" She glanced back at them to see their downcast faces. "Good."

"In my defense," Thor shot up. "I took no part in the Avengers Civil War."

"It doesn't matter," Hill answered. "Tony worked hard to get this interview. None of you blow it."

"Can I say again how stupid it is I'm here?" Natasha asked. "I'm a spy, I don't need my face everywhere."

"Should have thought about that before your nudes got leaked, Red."

"You're the one that leaked them you asshole," She seethed. "You have Friday hack my phone one more time and your suit will be filled with-"

Hill stopped abruptly before a door. "We're here. You guys will go in, get mics and sit down. Fuck this up, you're fired." She nodded. "I'll be behind the scenes."

They all put on smiles as she held the door open for them as a cheery woman in headset walked them over to the set. Five chairs were set in a line in front two. The male and female host currently talking going over cards that, Natasha assumed, had their questions written on.

"Right this way and we'll mic you up," The young women said blushing. She led them over to two more girls, it was clear now that the three were interns, to be miced up. First went Tony, who undid his suit jackets and held his arms out while talking. "I've done tons of these types of interviews before, just smile and be your normal friendly charming selves and we'll be fine. You, Romanoff, don't talk at all."

"All set, Mr. Stark," The brunette intern smiled.

Two cables had to tapped and tied together so they could fit through Thor's suit and still work. "Thank you, young ladies. I'm sorry to have been any trouble."

"Oh no," The three blushed and smiled madly. "No trouble at all Mr. Odinson."

"Any time really," One smiled.

Thor nodded then walked away. While Bruce and Clint got miced up, Steve feverously pulled Natasha by the arm to the side.

"What the hell, Rogers?" She asked stumbling to the side as he dragged her.

"I can't do this." He whispered worriedly.

"I know," She sighed. "This is your nightmare isn't it."

"I can't get up there and lie, Nat, it's not who I am what if they ask me about my love life. Oh god, Nat, my love life." He panicked.

"You will not out us, Steve," Natasha hissed pointing at his chest. "We have made it six months without getting found out. Do you hear me?"

"But what if-"

"You avoid the questions," She instructed. "Ask them something in return, change the topic and as a last resort ask me or the others something, got it?"

He gulped nodding. "Yes, ma'am."

"Captain Rogers?" One of the interns chirped. "We're ready for you!"

Steve gulped as they walked back over. Two, very lucky, girls worked to put on his mic pack the other, noticeably crestfallen, intern worked on Natasha. Natasha fought back an eye-roll as the girl fumbled, noticeably only paying attention to Steve.

"So, how long you been working here?" Natasha asked.

The girl jumped slightly. "Huh?" She winced. "Oh, about three months Miss."

Natasha nodded. "I'll hook it on my shirt for you."

"Thank you," The girl nodded pointing where she should clip the mic at while she worked on the pack. "You're outfit is very beautiful by the way."

"Thank you," Natasha smiled lightly. She had decided to wear Natalie Rushman's outfit for the interview, something comfortable but also professional as well.

"All done," The inter smiled. "I'm sure the interview will go well Miss. Romanoff."

Natasha nodded her thanks before hurrying after Steve as they walked up to the little stage. "Breath." She whispered to him.

"Trying." He whispered back.

"Okay," The producer instructed. "Mr. Stark, let's have you sit-"

"I'll sit here," He pointed at the seat closest to the interviewers. "Dr. Banner will sit next to me. Then Agent Barton, then Thor than Agent Romanoff followed by Captian Rogers."

"Uh," Her mouth hung open before snapping shut. "Sure, that'll work." They all shuffled into their seats bumping each other softly.

"Alright," The female host greeted as they walked over to their seats across from them. "May I just say that it is wonderful to meet you all and thank you all _so_ much for fighting evil and saving us all over and over."

They all nodded back except for Tony. "Oh, no problem, really. It's what we do." He smirked.

"Well my name is Alex," She smiled shaking each of their hands.

"And my name is Logan," He said shaking hands as well. "Now, for the interview, no need to worry, we got mostly easy questions for you all, a couple of thinkers, that's all. We're not here to do any _gotcha_ journalism." He laughed. "We like you all, we appreciate you all. We don't want to see the Avengers fall again."

"Well that's refreshing to hear," Clint sighed.

"I'm sure," Alex nodded. "We can get into that more later? We're ready to start now."

"Uh, real quick?" Steve spoke. "This isn't live is it?"

"It has a ten-minute delay," Logan answered. "Are you alright with that?"

"Steve here," Tony answered. "Just isn't good with interviews. It's fine."

"We'll try and keep it easy on you then," Alex laughed.

"And you?" Logan asked leaning forward with a smile. "Do you interview well Miss. Romanoff?"

"Agent," Natasha smirked. "I'm not sure about interviewing, interrogations, however, is another question."

"And the answer?" He hummed.

"I haven't been broken yet," She answered. "Unless I do the interrogating."

"I'm sure, Agent Romanoff," Alex lightly hit Logan on the arm with her notecards trying to get him back in his seat. "Are we all ready?"

The producer nodded and the countdown began, Hill caught everyone's eyes sending them a thumbs up before the camera's light on.

"Welcome back everyone, here we have the Avengers with us today," Logan began. "I have to say it's great to have you all here."

"Yes," Alex nodded. "And on behalf of everyone, I would like to thank you all for all you do to keep us safe."

"Well, you're all very welcome, but we don't do it for thank yous," Tony spoke up. "We do what we do because it's right. We each have sins to atone for and we would rather be out there fighting Hydra and other evils than have no one do it, or god forbid have the wrong people do it."

"Very well said Mr. Stark," Alex smiled. "We know that you are the original Avengers, may we ask where the New Avengers are?"

"They're back training," Clint answered. "I think one or two might be on a mission, couldn't tell you who but most are back training."

"We decided to spare them from the media for a while longer," Bruce smiled. "Figured to let them adjust to their new lives before we have people asking about it."

"Smart, smart," Logan hummed. "So Miss. Romanoff, can I call you Natasha?"

Natasha smiled sweetly. "You can call me Agent Romanoff."

He laughed. "Well, Natasha, women everywhere want to know what you do to keep that incredible figure of yours."

Natasha's lip twisted. "If I'm not on a mission I'm in the gym training with the others. I'm in charge of training the New Avengers. I also train daily with Captian Rogers."

"Well, that must be fun, huh, Captian," Logan laughed making Steve shift uncomfortably. "So what has the change of coming so far in the future has been the biggest for you, Captian? And are you still adjusting?"

"Uh, the biggest one would have to be all the technology really," Steve laughed. "Tech was just starting to be a thing when I was first alive and then I wake up here and it's everything." He laughed again. "There are times when I need to adjust again or I see knew, but Agent Romanoff and Stark have been great helps in my adjustment."

"And you, Thor?" Alex asked. "I imagine Asgard is vastly different from Earth, what are some of your biggest adjustments when you are here in-"

"In Misguard, ah yes," Thor smiled. "I'll have to agree with Lord Steven, my home doesn't rely as heavily on technology as your Earth does. It sometimes baffles me. Of course, manners are also different here as well."

"And Dr. Banner," Logan asked. "What has been your biggest adjustment from no longer being a fugitive?"

"Uh," Bruce rubbed the back of his head. "Honestly having fans. In ever thought that would happen."

"I suppose that would be strange huh?"

"Yeah, I mean there's a large group of scientist that love my research just as much as others hate it." He chuckled. "And I'll never get used to seeing kids with fake Hulk hands asking me to sign them."

"Agent Barton, what has been the strangest aspect for you?" Logan asked.

"I don't know," He smirked. "I turn off my hearing aids more so I don't have to hear everyone bickering."

"Bickering?" Alex questioned.

"We all have very dominate personalities," Tony jumped in. "Sometimes we'll all butt heads but at the end of the day Steveio rains us in and we're all a big happy family again."

"Natasha-"

"Agent Romanoff," She smiled.

Logan chuckled. "What do you normally eat to keep up with all these men and still maintain that figure?"

She squinted her eyes. "Vodka and the tears of men."

Alex and Logan laughed uncomfortable while Hill hit herself in the head with her clipboard.

"So Agent Romanoff," Tony asked turning to her. "What has been your biggest adjustment?"

She smiled at him. "Having people actually know who I am has been a bit strange and alarming."

"I can't imagine that as a bad thing," Logan laughed. "If anything you must get more dates now."

Her smile faded. "Yes, my main goal in life. To get a man."

"So ah," Alex quickly jumped in, tiring of her sexist co-anchor. "Who does everyone partner with the most hm? Weather in training or in the field?"

"Well, normally in the field we all kind of do our own things," Tony explained.

"That is not true, Friend Stark," Thor boomed. "Lady Natasha and Lord Steven always fight together. They can take out just as many Hydra Agents together as I can."

"Is that true?" Alex asked turning to them.

"Well, yeah," Steve scratched the back of his neck.

"Steve and I work very well together," Natasha smiled looking up at him. "He and I also train together. Tony and Clint train together and whenever Hulk comes out he trains with Thor."

"Well, we have a viewer question here, from Camille, age seven," Alex spoke. "She would like to know which Avenger makes the best Hot Chocolate?"

"Me for sure," Clint smiled.

"No way," Natasha scoffed. "Steve's is a hundred times better. Yours is too chalky."

"Is that true guys?" Logan asked.

"I'm not sure," Bruce answered. "I don't think any of us had had Steve's."

"I, uh," Steve blushed. "I only make it at night really."

"Oh," Logan smiled. "So you and Natasha-"

"Agent Romanoff."

"Are together a lot at night?" Logan asked.

"Uh, well. Yeah sometimes," Steve blushed.

"We have PTSD," Nat said plainly. "Hard to sleep sometimes."

"Uh huh," Logan licked his lip. "Natasha, are you currently seeing anyone?"

"For the last time," She leaned forward. "You should call me Agent Romanoff." She leaned back. "And I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to talk about the Avengers and Sheild and the good work we do."

"Well," Logan smiled. "If you aren't dating anyone would you like to go out with me?"

"Logan," Alex hissed hitting him as the men snickered.

"She would not," Steve answered.

"And why do you say that?"

"Aside from you blatantly disrespecting her since before the interview even began, you've also been grossly coming onto her in your place of work while she is here on business. You've given her the most sexist questions possible and you have successfully made all of us uncomfortable, your co-host included, by doing all of this." Steve answered.

"Agreed," Clint smirked.

"Well, don't you seem protective of her." Logan sat back with a disgusted face.

"He has every right to be protective of his partner and friend," Natasha leaned forward. "And since I've dated him for the better half of this year that also gives him right."

"So you two are dating?" Logan smiled. "I knew it."

"Great job," Natasha nodded. "Now I'm done being disrespected. Alex, you want to go get coffee?"

Alex looked from Logan to her producer. "God, yes." She nodded getting up. The girls got up, ripping off their mic packs and walking out of the studio.

"Where she goes," Steve stood up taking his pack off. "So goes my world."

"Finally we can leave!" Clint cheered ripping his back off. "See ya later Sexist Asshole!"

"I better get going too," Bruce stood up. "You're just making me mad."

"Well, I suppose I shall go too." Thor stood as well.

"Yeah why not," Tony stood waving to Logan. "Believe it or not this has been one of my better interviews. See ya."

Hill followed them with her broken clipboard. "Well, that went better than I thought."


	28. Hela Have No Fury

POST ENDGAME (Steve didn't stay back in time he came back)

They all sat in the backyard, some in chairs, the younger ones on the grass, and the rest on the picnic bench Steve and Bucky had made for Pepper the year prior. The soft breeze rustled the tree's bright green leaves and the clear sky reflected perfectly in the lake. Harley had Nate on his shoulders, joking around with the rest of the kids. Morgan was on top of Peter's shoulders, both hanging upside down in a tree. Lila and Cooper were running around the base of the tree wanting to try to climb up on their own.

"Kids," Pepper called, setting a tray of drinks on the table. "Harley, come on over, it's time to toast."

Conversations dispersed as everyone crowded together around the table, some standing some sitting, each taking a glass of their own. Pepper let out a deep sigh, watching as everyone's eyes cast down. "It's been two years. The world is… healing. As we all are. The Avengers are once more together and Carol and the Guardians send their best, there's something happening on some planet and they're close to Gamora once more so…" Pepper sniffed, whipping a stray tear. "Can someone else jump in for a moment?"

"Loki, Vision, Natasha, and Tony," Thor stood up. "Without their sacrifices, half the universe and probably the rest of us would be dead. We owe them everything and a half. To our fallen heroes."

"To our fallen loves," Wanda raised her cup.

"To our fallen friends," Steve added raising his.

"To our fallen family," Peter finished.

"Here, here," Pepper sniffed once more, everyone raising their cups of beer, wine or juice in loving memory. They all had a moment of silence after, tears falling on Wanda's cheeks. A smile creeping onto Clint as his mind wandered to the past.

Steve was the one to break the silence with a small chuckle. "One time, when I was fresh out of the ice and had just started at Sheild, Natasha found my note pad full of movies I needed to watch. She handed it back to me without a word. That night, I got out of my shower and walked to my kitchen for some water only to find her sitting on my couch, popcorn, and sodas in hand. She threw popcorn at me and told me I kept her waiting too long and next time she'd just join me in the shower instead." He laughed, shaking his head.

"When'd you and Aunty Nat started dating?" Lila asked softly.

Steve sighed, a sad smile on his face. "After Sheild fell. She went to find a new cover and," He laughed. "Found one with me I guess." Clint rested a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it as Steve fought back tears.

"When told Tony I was pregnant he sobbed," Pepper smiled, hugging Morgan close. "That man never slept but when he found out that you were coming, he stayed up for weeks on end consuming any information about babies he could and then building high tech versions of everything."

Morgan smiled. "I miss daddy."

Pepper's face contorted, fighting back more tears. "I know honey, me too."

"When Tony asked me to be your godfather," Happy rubbed Moragans back. "He told me I was the only one he trusted enough other than your mom." He sniffed, pushing a cheeseburger closer to her. "Eat up will ya?"

"I found an engagement ring in Vision's underwear drawer of all places," Wanda's lips quivered as she smiled. "I… I would have said yes… I would have said yes."

"We know kid," Clint pulled her closer, rubbing her arm with his as he rested his chin on her head.

"When would you have gotten married?" Dr. Hulk asked. "Like… what time of year or-"

"Winter," Wanda sniffed. "He loved snow."

"My brother was ready to be a part of our people again," Thor sighed. "He was excited to rebuild Asgard on earth. To play tricks on all of us again. I was… I was going to let him lead the people."

Valkery clamped a hand on his shoulder. "I took them all to Valhalla after the final battle." She sighed heavily. "They knew we won. That what they did meant something. They were… at peace."

There was a collective content sigh as a wind began to pick up. Dead leaves and grass kicking up onto the table as the sky darkened. "Was it supposed to storm today?"

"No," Pepper answered standing. "Friday! Call the Legian."

"What the hell is that?" Harley asked pointing at the dark forming circle a few yards ahead of them.

The Avengers began to take offensive positions, as the circle darkened. Green and black-clad Hela walking out.

"Hela?" Thor questioned. "I thought you died?"

She rolled her eyes. "I wish I had. Instead, I was sent back to rule over Hell and Valhalla. Thank you for killing Thanos, by the way. The man was an awful lover."

"You dated Thanos?" Thor questioned with disgust.

"Yes, and you gained weight and now here we are," She smiled largely. "To add to that, I must return something all of you."

"What?" Steve asked. "What do you have to give up? More death?"

"Quite the contrary actually," She put her hands on her hips. "These idiots have been pestering me, annoying, and all around making me wish they were alive so yet again, here we are."

"You're giving us back someone who died?" Laura gasped.

"But you can't give life," Thor questioned. "Only take."

"Yes well, I make my own rules," She rolled her eyes. "This asshole plays twenty questions with me every hour on the hour." She waved her cape, Vision falling from thin air.

"Vis," Wanda gasped running to his side.

"I'm… what?" He gasped, looking around his surroundings as he and Wanda clung to one another.

"This asshole keeps stealing my knives and going around to stab anyone and anything," Another wave of her cape and Loki fell flat on his face.

"Loki?" Thor ran to him, helping his brother up to his feet.

"My throat-" He paused looking Thor up and down. "My lord, you've gained weight, are you feeling alright brother?" Thor laughed, pulling his brother into a bone-crushing hug.

"And these assholes keep running around together trying to escape and just generally annoying anyone in their path." With her last wave, Tony and Natasha fell in a pile at her feet groaning. "Congratulations, you all were given a second chance a life due to how God awful you all are. Use it wisely. Brothers…" She shrugged. "Don't die." With that, Hela stepped back into the green clouds back to her domain.

"Tony."

"Daddy!"

"Mr. Stark!"

"Nat!"

"Tasha!"

Natasha clung to Steve's broad shoulders Clint, Laura and the kids joined them in a hug. Tony had Morgan and Pepper in arms as Harley and Peter joined. Happy and the rest smiling as tears of joy came.

"I knew it," Pepper laughed. "I told you. I told you you were so annoying that even the devil wouldn't want you."

"How are you all feeling?" Bruce asked as everyone hugged. "I should get my med center running. Any aches, any pains?"

Loki popped his neck. "My throat is a bit sore. Not sure why." Thor inhaled deeply, echos of his brother's neck snapping as he pulled him for another hug. Loki just smiled. "I missed you too brother."

"My head hurts," Natasha laughed. "Really bad." Clint grimaced, remembering how her blood had been so vibrant her hair had seemed dull as he kissed the back of her head.

Steve crushed his lips against hers. "I'll get you some Advil, anything you want. Name it and I'll get you it."

"My head hurts quite a bit as well," Vision rubbed his forehead only to have Wanda pull it to her lips, peppering kisses all over it.

"The entire right side of my body is tingly," Tony answered. "Should that happen? Is that normal to have when you're brought back to life after?"

"We'll take care of it," Pepper laugh, kissing his cheek. "We'll take care of it."

AN: Honestly, I could get some more out of this if ya'll want. Ya know, like what they were doing in Valhalla, how they are going to transition back into life all that. Let me know.


	29. Cult of Dionysus

All Imma say is that I'm bipolar and just had to claw myself out of a depressive episode. So... now back to our regularly scheduled program...

"Guys guess what!" Peter practically skipped into the commons room, a large smile on his dirt covered face, his suit covered in similar dirt and a few cuts where he just barely bled from showed that his story would be a good one. Tony, Steve, and Clint all looked up from their books and magazines watching as he walked in front of the Tv so everyone sitting and those in the kitchen could see and hear him.

"Did you fall from the top of the Empire State Building again?" Tony sighed. "You know what, I don't wanna know. Just tell me how many bones are broken."

"No, not again and none this time I-"

"Did you find the guy that keeps stealing that grandma's purse?" Wanda called from the kitchen, Vision, and Sam snickering next to her.

"What? No, I-"

"I don't think he will," Bucky muttered, not bothering to look up from his book. "Lady just keeps losing it."

"No, she doesn't any way I-"

"Yeah," Natasha smiled looked up at James. "She loses it on purpose so she can see Peter." She nudged Bucky with her toes as he chuckled resting her feet once more in his lap. "You can't see he's underage with that mask."

"Guys…" Peter whined. "Let me tell you."

"Alright, we've tortured the boy long enough, what did you do today Peter?" Steve smiled warmly.

Peter bounced on the balls of his feet. "I stopped my first cult! So I saw this girl get kidnapped and I followed them and it turns out they were going to sacrifice her to the Devil. There were like fifty of these guys and the best part?" Peter help up a piece of paper. "She gave me her number!"

Tony sighed deeply. "Underoos, you have a secret identity remember?"

Peter blinked then deflated moving to sit on the couch with Steve. "Oh yeah."

Natasha looked up from her laptop. "Which Cult was it?"

"Uh didn't catch a name. It was in a warehouse down by the docks," Peter shrugged. "It was really fun to bust."

She tilted her head to the side. "Which number?"

"Uhhhhh 67," He answered. "Why?"

"Damnit," Natasha muttered, reaching for her cell on the coffee table. "I was a member of that Cult."

There was a moment of silence.

"I'm sorry," Tony spoke. "Did you just say you're a member of a Devil worshiping Cult?"

"Well, I _was_ ," Natasha rolled her eyes. "I have to hunt down the other members, get them set up in one of my other cults."

"I'm sorry," Clint shook his head. "Other cults?"

"Nat," Steve leaned forward. "Explain."

She sighed dramatically as she typed on her phone. "I'm a member in four, well three now, cults. It's my hobby."

"Hobby?" Sam questioned. "Can't you just knit?"

"I join cults and find people who need to be recused. Some people, however, benefit from a healthier cult environment, I believe most people call them a family unit. I help some people go back to their real family's but for most that isn't an option so I put them in a healthier situation which is one of the cults I lead." She explained with a wave of her hand.

"How did this become your hobby?" Peter questioned.

"One of the cults _you_ _lead_?" Wanda snapped walking into the room.

"It was a type of training for the Red Room and yes, I'm the leader of five cults at the moment." Natasha nodded. "Some of the cults I infiltrate have a pretty decent base of operations or belives, just twisted people leading them so I climb my way to the top and become the leader and slowly implement changes until the cult is a healthy place to be."

"You are the leader of five separate cults…." Tony's mouth hung open. "Why am I not surprised?"

"They all have a good purpose," Natasha explained. "Two are for children and teens on the run, offering them safe places to live and safe people to be around. Two are also for women who need a safe place or to lie low, most of the members suffer from or have suffered from some sort of domestic abuse."

"And the fifth one?" Steve asked.

A smile crept across her face. "That one is my favorite. It's my Cult of Dionysus."

"What does that mean?" Clint squinted at her.

"Like the song from Tik Tok?" Peter raised an eyebrow.

"Yes actually, multiple health screenings are required as well as full shot records not to mention we're highly selective in who we allow becoming members. Women have an easier time of it but we do have a few male members," She smiled.

"I'm actually a member of that one," James raised his hand.

"Why's it your favorite?" Steve questioned.

Natasha smiled standing up. "We have massive orgies once a month." Again the room was silent. "Anyway, I have some people I need to call and relocate. James has all the paperwork needed to apply to the Cult of Dionysus if you want."


	30. Chapter 30

Mistakes were made. Mistakes were made on all parts, by all people. The battle was a large one nearly leveling an entire town in the middle of India. The only upside being they hadn't been the direct cause of any deaths, well that and they had defeated some random demon made of fire as well as no major injury on their parts aside from burns, scrapes, cuts, and bruises. As far as Buck was concerned it was a major win. Yes, mistakes that could have involved multiple deaths not only of innocents but teammates… they were all alive so that should be a win. So why was it that everyone was sitting around and pouting in silence.

Peter was forced to sit in a seat, preferring mostly to sit on the floor and stretch his burnt leg while jittering his uninjured one. While swinging on his web, trying to keep a falling building upright he had unavoidably pushed it over onto Tony. For a split moment, his entire world had stopped until Ironman shook off the dust while climbing out the rubble. Tony sported only a concussion as well as a few bumps and bruises as well as a hurt arm. While fighting the fire demon he had a blast from his suit push the demon over making it land almost on Steve.

Steve had rolled with the hit, earning only a burn on to his side which was already healing. He was currently beating himself up over a miscalculating of a shield toss, hitting Sam in the gut and taking him down from the sky. Sam had attempted to solve his rapid descent by crying out to Wanda to save him. In doing so, Wanda had dropped the top of a building landing on Vision. The Vision then miss aimed a blast while going down, shooting at James. While taking the blast, James then fired his gun, inadvertently shooting Natasha in the arm. Going on pure adrenaline while in the fight, Natasha accidentally stung Clint who shot an arrow at Peter, making him fall once more from a building.

All in all, it was a rough battle, closely related to a cluster fuck. However, no deaths in the city after they arrived and no major injuries. Well… Nat's arm would heal. Really they should be celebrating not sitting glumly in the helm of the quinjet while Maria flew them home. They were rough around the edges, yes but they were getting there. A few more hours logged of training, both group and personal, and they were on the road to constant victory.

He locked eyes with Natasha, sitting across from him in the empty space on the opposite wall. He raised an eyebrow, darting his eyes around. She shrugged lightly at him. This was the usual. He looked down at her arm where he luckily only grazed her. She shrugged again poking at the wrapping. She was healing, already feeling better. He rolled his eyes, where they always like this? She tilted her head then shrugged once more. Yeah. He shook his head.

Natalia had been like this when they were younger and still taking missions as training. She would beat herself up over the smallest mistakes and sit in silence the entire rides back to whatever base they were holed up at. He looked up as she sighed, resting her chins on her fists as she leaned forward to look at him. What was that silly old song he'd sing to cheer her up? It was grossly against the rules Hydra had set for them, the singing, the emotional connection, the connection to the outside world. Still, it would always bring a smile to her face. He'd take any beatings he could for her.

He smiled as she stuck his tongue out at him, matching her posture. " _We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout."_ He smiled as everyone began to look up at him with a questioning look. Natasha's face imminently brightened. " _We've been talkin' 'bout Jackson, ever since the fire went out."_ He leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms as he shifted his posture. " _I'm goin' to Jackson, I'm gonna mess around,"_ He smiled, dusting off his jacket. " _Yeah, I'm goin' to Jackson,"_ He shouldered Sam next to him, holding out his hand in front of him in a faraway look. " _Look out Jackson town."_

Natasha smiled crossing her arms in defiance. " _Well, go on down to Jackson; go ahead and wreck your health."_ She waved her hand at him dismissively. " _Go play your hand you big-talkin' man, make a big fool of yourself,"_ She turned back to him, smiling at Peter and Steve's beaming faces she waved her hand at James' head. " _Yeah, go to Jackson; go comb your hair!"_

Buck looked down at his hair, pulling a few stands up to see it was now covered in dirt and leaves, with random knots as the pun had long since fallen away. He snapped back up to her with a slightly offended face. " _Honey, I'm gonna snowball, Jackson."_

She rolled her eyes with a scoff, crossing her arms and legs. " _See if I care."_

James popped up, pacing slightly. " _When I breeze into that city, people gonna stoop and bow."_

" _Hah!"_ Natasha laughed shaking her head.

" _All them women gonna make me, teach 'em what they don't know how,"_ He danced around slightly, earning laughs and chuckles from the now smiling Aveners, as he brought his fists down to his hips. " _I'm goin' to Jackson, you turn-a loose-a my coat."_ He chuckled as she narrowed her eyes at her. " _I'm goin' to Jackson."_

" _"Goodbye, " that's all she wrote."_ Natasha popped up from her seat. " _They'll laugh at you in Jackson,"_ She jumped up shaking her hips and dancing on her ledge chair. " _and I'll be dancin' on a Pony Keg."_ She jumped down stalking up to him, her hands on her hips. " _They'll lead you 'round town like a scalded hound,"_ She pulled out his favorite knife from her belt, having picked it up during battle, holding down between her legs. " _With your tail tucked between your legs."_

"Hey," He snatched the knife back from between her legs.

She laughed walking away from him. " _Yeah, go to Jackson, you big-talking' man."_ She smiled at him, holding up her glock to hide it. " _And I'll be waitin' in Jackson, behind my Jaypan Fan."_

They now sang in tandem. Nat pulling up Peter as Bucky grabbed Wanda so they could all dance around. " _Well now, we got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper Sprout, We've been talkin' 'bout Jackson, ever since the fire went."_ They danced around, pulling up other members of the Avengers, setting them up to dance with one another. " _I'm goin' to Jackson, and that's a fact."_

They finally came together to dance in hopping and skipping around the room. " _Yeah, I'm goin' to Jackson, ain't never comin' back. Well, we got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout', And we've been talkin' 'bout Jackson, ever since the fire went out."_

They all ended with smiles and laughs, spirits clearly lifted. "Didn't know you could sing that well Iron Maiden, let alone you Little Red."

"Yeah," Sam laughed. "Where did that come from?"

"That's how I would make Nat smile when she would mess up in the field," He explained, everyone's eyes turned downcast. "We messed up in a few places, but we didn't fuck up. So why would we need to be moping? It may not be victory, but it was a win."

"That was really Cappy of you Bucky," Wanda smiled pushing him. "Nice job."

"Yeah," Nat smiled. "Besides, we'll train our asses off later."

 _Jackson ~ Johny Cash and June Carter_


	31. Send Noodes

**Ten Points to whoever gets what show I'm referencing.**

Steve sat on the couch in between Bucky and Sam each with a beer in their hands. Tony and Bruce each sat in their own lounge chairs, all watching TV as they drank. Wanda and Vision sat on the floor drinking Vodka Cranberries as they read books.

"Hey," Sam spoke, nudging Steve's arm. "How are you and Nat doing by the way."

Steve's face immediately lit up. "We're doing great actually. We've narrowed down a few safe houses we might want to move into that are still pretty close."

"How's wedding planning?" Wanda asked dropping her book to play on her phone instead.

"She's still dragging her feet," Steve winced slightly. "But she said yes. Besides," He shrugged. "She's just broken that 'loves for children' thinking. So maybe in a month or two, we'll start planning."

"Are you worried about that?" Bucky asked knowing how impatient Steve could be.

"At first," Steve admitted. "But with Nat? I have all the time in the world."

"I just can't wait till I can plan the bachelor party." Tony grinned. "I already have so many plans for it."

"Uh, it's the best man's job to plan that," Bucky tilted the lip of his beer to Tony. "And that's me."

"Yeah, but the best man is the best friend," Tony shot back. "Which is me, Iron Maiden."

"I'm sorry, have you known Stevie since he was little? Since he was a kid with pneumonia and asthma?" Buck asked. "Mm. Didn't think so."

"And where were you when he was getting used to the new world? Were you helping him adjust and helped him deal with his grief and find a new life?" Tony shook his head. "No that was me."

"That was Nat," Steve corrected.

"I'm Steve's best friend," Tony said in a final tone.

"No," Bucky shook his head. "I am."

"I thought I was," Sam joked.

"Again," Steve smiled. "That's Nat."

"Just whip em out on the table," Wanda muttered into her book. "I'll get a ruler."

They both sent her a glare before turning to Steve. "Steve. Tell us who's your best friend."

Steve let out a sigh, his hand on his chin. "Nat."

"No," Tony shook his head. "Really."

"Yeah," He nodded. "Nat."

"Damnit Punk-"

"Fine. Bucky and I knave known each other the longest, we grew up together," He answered. "I've been through hell and back for Buck and I'd do it again. I mean," His face darkened. "I started a civil war for him."

"See," Bucky smiled self-satisfied.

"But," Steve went on. "Tony has always been there for me. He was the first to reach out after the Civil War and try to make amends as well as get new regulations and rules in order for the accords for us." He smiled at the other man. "Tony's always been there, or at least always made an effort to be, even when we fought."

"See," Tony sniffed. "It's me."

"And Sam," Steve continued. "Well, Sam is the definition of ride or die, as Natasha explained to me. He knew me barely a moment and invited me and Nat, two wanted fugitives at the time, into his house and helped us prove our innocence."

"See," Vision pointed out. "He wouldn't say."

Steve jumped his cellphone ringing as the men want back to arguing. "It's Nat," Steve beamed, flipping open the phone. "Hey doll, you're on speaker, it's me and the rest."

"We hate Bucky and Tony now," Came Natasha's clipped response.

"Uhh…" Steve looked up, confliction on his face as everyone started fighting back giggles and the two in trouble looked scandalized.

"Get on board or the sexting stops," Natasha snapped.

A panicked look came on Steve's face. "James and Tony are son's of bitches!"

"Hey!"

"What the hell?"

"HA!"

Steve quickly turned off the speaker and stood to leave the room. "So why do we hate them now?"

"Wow," Tony shook his head. "I have never been this betrayed."

"Likewise," Bucky crossed his arms. "He called me James. He knows my mother. Loves her. Called her mom too."

"Uh huh," Steve walked back in, one hand to his ear with his phone, the other crossed against his chest. "Oh they did did they? Huh. Yeah, I will. See you later-"

"Ask if you hate me," Sam whispered.

"Oh wait," Steve glanced to the phone in his hand. "Do we hate Sam?" He nodded. "Kay, just checking. Love you, be safe." He hung up, crossing his arms as he sent a steely glare at both the men in question.

"You turned us faster than a dog chasing its tail," Bucky shook his head.

"I don't think I can heal from this betrail," Tony nodded.

"You two leaked my future wife's nudes onto the internet," Steve stated plainly.

"And just like that, I'm healed!" Tony bounced up. "Thanks, Steve, I'm glad we had this talk so now I'm going to-"

Steve grabbed his shoulder, pushing back into his seat. "You leaked. My wife's. Nudes."

"In my defense," Bucky held up his hands. "I leaked Natalie Rushman's, not Nat's."

Steve just shrugged. "Okay, deflect however you want. All I know is that Nat and I are leading training tomorrow." Wanda cackled at them as they both deflated, not looking forward to being broken the next day. "Sam, Nat gave you the okay. You're my best man now."

"Hell yeah!"


	32. Bang Bang

Lady Gaga Lyrics

"Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)"

(originally by Cher)

The Avengers sat in the commons, all in matching PJ's and blankets as they talked and joked. It was, as Tony likes to call it, Bonding Day. They all got around, got comfortable, got liquor is they were old enough and talked. About every, and anything. Tonight, the topic was love.

"And that was my first love," Tony shrugged. "Stupid, I know, but I was a highschooler and God, Megahn was just…" He sighed. "First love." He took a swig of his whiskey. "Okay, who's next?"

"I went," Bruce smiled. "Betty."

"Peggy," Steve smiled sadly.

"Kate Bishop," Clint sighed happily. "That psyco nearly killed me. God am I glad I met Laura."

"Sif," Thor recounted. "I have more stories for sharing if anyone-"

"Hydra Guard Number 3312," Wanda laughed.

"MJ," Peter smiled. "Do you guys really think she likes me?"

"Yes, punk we told you a hundred times," James rolled his eyes. "Haven't been in love, still."

"Rachel," Sam whistled. "Guess it's your turn, Nat. Tell us who, tell us who."

"Yeah," Tony jumped in. "Like did he have a car?"

"Do I really have to?" Natasha winced.

"Come on Tasha, we all did," Clint prodded.

"Yeah, don't leave us hanging," Bruce agreed.

"We want all the nasty parts too," Tony smiled.

Natasha sighed deeply, opening a new bottle of vodka. "Fine, it all started in the Red Room, where I grew up." She pulled deeply from the bottle, staring off in the distance, she smiled. "I was… maybe fifteen and he was around twenty-five or twenty-six."

"What?" Bruce gaped.

"That's all kinds of gross and illegal," Clint pointed out.

Natasha shrugged. "He was one of my trainers. And oh was he," She sighed. "Something else. _He wore black and I wore white._ And for years whenever we trained _He would always win the fight."_ Her expression grew dark. "Of course he was an asset, my handler. He wasn't allowed to… indulge, as they put it, and neither was I. When it was just him and I, he was damn near human but when we trained…" She took another swig of vodka. "I never blamed him. If he went easy on me I would probably be dead by now, you know?" She looked off in the distance again, her hand going to her shoulder. " _Bang bang, he shot me down. Bang bang, I hit the ground. Bang bang, that awful sound. Bang bang, my baby shot me down."_

She shook herself from her memories and back to her friends, avoiding Bucky, who sat brewing in the corner. "Of course, _Seasons came and changed the time,_ and _When I grew up I called him mine._ But then… Then Alexi was picked for me. And I was married off. Away from my love. And Alexi, _He would always laugh and say. Remember when we used to play. Bang bang, I shot you down. Bang bang, I hit the ground. Bang bang, that awful sound. I used to shoot you down._ But Alexi wasn't my trainer, we would just spar. He didn't want me getting better, he wanted me dead." She gritted her teeth. " _Music played and people sang. Not for me, no church bells rang._ But I guess I shouldn't hate him as much as I do, because without Alexi," She turned them, a near evil smile on her lips. "I wouldn't be the widow I am today."

"Oh…" Peter whispered.

"But what about that man, what about the one you loved?" Wanda asked on the edge of her seat.

Natasha sighed, pulling nearly have the vodka from the handle. " _Now he's gone I don't know why_ And to _this day, sometimes I cry. He didn't even say goodbye. He didn't take the time to lie."_ She looked out the black window, tears in her eyes. "I not sure if he doesn't remember me… or doesn't want me. But it's one of them."

"Is he even alive?" Tony asked.

Natasha looked passed to James, sitting his hands wrapped together, eyes burning a hole into her soul. "Trust me, he wasn't one to be killed easily." She looked back at them. "That's my first, and only, love. Moy soldat," She shrugged. " _Bang bang, I shot you down. Bang bang, he hit the ground. Bang bang, that awful sound. My baby shot me down."_ A tear spilled down her cheek. "What's the next question?"


	33. A Forgotten Birthday

Natasha sat curled up on the common's couch most of the day. She had started the day slightly late, letting herself sleep in an extra hour after losing a night of sleep. She then went through her memory box, a yearly tradition, sighing the entire time. Once she packed everything back in the box and polished off a bottle of vodka, she went out for a late morning workout. After that, she filled her water bottle with vodka, threw on a sweat pants she stole from Steve and a baggy shirt she had stolen from Tony as well as Clint's slippers before she settled down in the corner of the couch with book, her water bottle, and a plush blanket she stole from Wanda. Natasha truly hated her birthday.

However, she couldn't figure out what was worse, having everyone force her to celebrate or have everyone forget. Throughout the day everyone had wandered in and out of the commons all asking of her day and what seemed to be wrong but nothing more. Even when she poked and prodded Clint and Sam during their lunch… no plans for a surprise party.

Now at late - for them considering how early they all wake up - eight at night, the commons were full. Tony taking over a love seat closest to her at her side of the couch while Clint took up the other love seat across from him. Her feet nudged Steve's thigh under her blanket, slowly pushing him more and more into Sam, much to their annoyance. Peter sat on the floor with his back to her, Wanda next to him and her brother at her other side. Peter worked on homework while Wanda did an adult coloring book, something she found helped calm her as well as her emotions. Petiro was currently getting the world's highest score in whatever silly phone game.

Tony looked up from his computer. "Are we all off today?"

Steve looked up from his book, looking around before back towards tony. "Yeah, I guess."

"Huh," Tony narrowed his eyes. "Why? How?"

Clint shrugged from his lounging spot, eyes still glued to the TV. "I dunno, why?"

"This never happens. Why are we all off together?" Tony looked up to the ceiling. "Baby Girl?"

"I was instructed five years ago to have this day cleared every year," Friday answered. "However, I was not told why."

"Ya know," Clint looked over to them. "I do feel like I'm forgetting something. Something important. Felt it all day. Anyone else."

"Yeah actually," Steve nodded, putting the book down. "Thought it was just me."

"Anniversary of something?" Wanda asked. "You and Laura? Some battle?"

"No," Clint shook his head. "Cap?"

"Not that I can remember anyway," Steve shrugged.

"A birthday?" Peter asked.

"No," Clint shook his head. "I remember birthdays."

Natasha fought off a scoff by taking a sip of her drink. "It's probably nothing, don't worry about it, worry about where White Wolf ran off too."

"Bucky?" Steve perked up. "Haven't seen him for a few hours."

"Sargent Barnes left the tower at noon in quite a hurry, muttering in Russian," Friday replyed. "Under strict instructions from Agent Romanoff and Sargent Barnes himself, I am not allowed to translate them"

"What did he say?" Natasha smirked.

"Recording loading," Friday answered. "Isus Khristos, ona sobirayetsya menya potroshit'. YA takoy zabyvchivyy trakh."

Natasha cocked her head to the side. "He said 'Jesus Christ, she's going to gut me. I'm such a forgetful fuck.'."

"Wonder who is gonna gut him," Sam muttered. "Hope it's soon."

"Wonder what he forgot," Steve leaned back. "This is going to bug me."

"You'll remember in the middle of the night," Natasha replied. "Just don't let it bother you."

"Do you know what we're all forgetting?" Peter asked, turning to look at her.

"No clue," She took another long swig. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not important."

They sat once more in silence for another episode of _How I Met Your Mother_ until an elevator ding had them all turning around. Out stumbled a Winter Soldier arms full of gifts, his hair back in a bun with dress slacks and white button-up. He walked up to Natasha, who regarded him with suspicion. Before anyone could question him, he began to ramble.

"So before you say anything, I'm sorry, second," He pulled out a box of chocolates. "I went down to Little Russia today and found your favorite chocolates," He held the box out to her, resting it on her lap. "I also got your favorite Vodka, which I put in your fridge upstairs. I also got you your favorite flowers." He set the bouquet of blue scented flowers on the coffee table. "Believe it or not I got all those at the same place. There's this little shop that I stopped at to get directions at and there was a little old lady in there who goes by Babushka Toya. She's really sweet, her grandson Anatoly is high up in the Russian Mob, which I'm pretty sure I joined by the way."

"What?" Sam's head whirled.

"You joined the mob?" Steve asked, trying to clarify how much trouble they were in.

"We leave you alone for one afternoon and you join the mob?" Sam shook his head.

"Yeah," Bucky nodded. "Anyway, I also got you some ballons, I know you hate them but they're fun to shoot and stab. Speaking off, Anatoly gave me a deal on some knives, both practical and specialty. I know you like finding things, so I broke into your room and hid fifty knives in it. Also his three guns, new Glocks."

Natasha blinked at him, mouth hanging open and eyes wide. "I-"

"Oh, and before you say anything, Babushka Toya told me about a toy shop her ex-fiance runs. He goes by Dedushka Endi. Actually they have a very touching and heartbreaking romance story and I think when we have free time we need to set them up. Anyway, Little Russia really loves you and I. Well they love us now anyway, Dedushka Endi makes homemade stuff animals and I had to get the stuffed bears." He held out a stuffed teddy bear with an all-black uniform and a red hourglass. A red wig of soft fake hair was sewed onto her as well as a small wooden batton. She accepted it, mouth still agape holding it.

"He's also one of the only people making Bucky Bears anymore and I got one of those too so that Black Widow Bear wouldn't be lonely but if you don't want him…" He held out the little bear, wearing all black except for its silver arm with its bright red star. He smiled as she quickly took it from his hand looking at it as she held it close to her chest as well as her Widow Bear. James cleared his throat. "I also saw this bar down in Little Russia, Anatoly owns it and said we should stop by." He inhaled deeply sending her a money winning smile. "So if you'd let me, I'd like to take the Birthday girl out on a dinner date. What do you say?" He forced himself not to squirm as she continued to stare up at him in shock. "I might have taken the liberty of getting you a dress also that's on your bed. Babuska Toya helped pick it out."

He was about to pull back completely and change the subject, saying she wouldn't have to and that honestly he really did go overboard when Natasha jumped up and off the couch throwing herself into James' arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck, propping her legs up on his hips as she peppered his cheeks with kisses. "Thank you, James. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'll go get changed, don't leave without me." And just as soon as she was in his arms she was back out running up the stairs since that would be faster than the elevator. He smiled largely at the door she ran through, noting that she had taken the bears of all things, with her.

Clint's hands were fisted in his hair. "It's her birthday."

"And we all forgot." Steve shook his head.

"Not Buck," Sam pointed out. "He remembered then put us all to shame with those damn gifts."

Bucky only shrugged. "We don't know when her real birthday is, I found the file that said her age and when she was taken in then did some math for her. We both guessed the day and then she picked it. We always celebrated, well I did. I get her something small, made her something to eat or snuck out with her. You know little things I could do. Now though, now I can finally do everything I wanted to do for her. Besides, last time I forgot her birthday in the Red Room she shot me in my good shoulder."

Natasha came bouncing into the room the next second, having spead through her getting ready. A knee-length red dress with matching heels. Her hair down in large curls. She was a sight. "I'm ready, James. You?"

"Always," He smiled. "Let's get going, lyubov'."


	34. Sarcasm

Song: Sarcasm by Get Scared

"This will be wonderful, brother!" Thor boomed as the took the elevator from the roof to the common's area. "You will do wonderful things paying off this debt."

"Debt?" Loki asked. "Is that what you think I'm doing? Paying a debt?"

"Well, you do owe this city and the Avengers greatly in damages do you not?" Thor asked raising his eyebrows.

Loki huffed out a sigh. "I am here only because Odin deemed I could do more good being dragged around by you than I could by being locked in some cell. And even then I'm only convinced he agreed to this because of Mother."

Thor just shrugged. "That may be, brother. But regardless, I say the word and you will be transported immediately back to Asgard to be in the very prison you are avoiding by being here."

Loki narrowed his eyes as the elevator began to slow. "What is it you're trying to say?"

Thor beamed at him, walking backward out of the elevator. "Nothing, brother, nothing. I just advise you to be on your best behavior. At least until everything has settled?"

Loki rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, wondering if an eternity in a cell was really worse than being on Midgard. "Very well, Thor, I shall try."

"Wonderful," Thor's shoulders sagged, seemingly more at ease with at least a half-assed attempt from his brother. "I shall go gather the others, you stay here."

"Right, right," Loki waved him off as he went running through a doorway. He looked down, seeing the freshly repaired cement from where he had been beaten into. The room itself had been refurbished to its full glory, Loki noticed, couches a TV and a fully stocked bar as well a newly repaired window wall. Looking out he saw the city he had helped destroy. A deep frown etched into his face, he never wanted the city destroyed. Had it not been for Thanos… No. He shook his head. No, he would forget that for now. He had amends to make and a city to rebuild. This had to be better than that small glass cell. It had to be. Right?

A door clicked open behind him. "Thor! You're back early, the others are downstairs training I'll just-"

He turned, stopping the woman in her tracks. "Hello, Lady Natasha."

"Oh hell no," Natasha snarled creeping into a fighting stance.

"Do calm yourself, Lady Natasha," Loki held up a hand at her innocently walking slightly closer. "I come here with no ill will, in fact, I'm here to… pay a debt of sorts."

"What?" She snapped, inching closer trying to find an opening. "A debt? What did some mobster find there a way to Assguard?"

"It's Asgard and no," Loki quickly corrected. "I am here to make amends and try to right my wrongs." His hands clasped in front of him. "It is my punishment, but it is also what is right. I will help rebuild the city, help build homes, anything that is required of me."

"Great," Natasha crept closer. "I require you to suck dick and die."

A smirk spread across his face. "I gladly will, however, I do not recall you having a -dick was it?- on our first meeting."

Natasha grit her teeth, sneering as a small growl escaped her. "That was before I knew you were a psychotic god who killed hundreds of people, released aliens on this world and attempted to take over said world."

"Yes," Loki smiled, gloating over her. "However that didn't keep you calling out my name that night did it? Or from saying I was, what was it again Lady Natasha? The best you've ever had? Then again I suppose it could have been a lie-"

"It was," She snapped, fighting a blush from forming on her cheeks.

"Ohhh," He tutted as they were now near toe to toe. "Here I thought you were in love with me."

"Like I could ever love something like you," Natasha grit back.

Loki just chuckled, holding a hand over his heart. " _You've got me shaking from the way you're talking. My heart is breaking but there's no use crying."_

" _What a cyanide surprise you have left for my eyes,"_ She dropped her fighting stance, crossing her arms over her chest, this wouldn't be a battle of brawn but of wits. " _If I had common sense I'd cut myself or curl up and die."_

" _Sticks and stones could break my bones,"_ He leaned in further, taunting her. " _But anything you say will only fuel my lungs"_

They were now toe to toe, Natasha glaring up at him as he smirked down at her, a silent staring match between the two of them. They continued to glare even as the elevator door binged, the rest of the Avengers shuffling out.

"Well damn, Reindeer Games really is here," Tony muttered.

"Natasha," Clint barked. "Get away from him. He's dangerous."

"Oh, _Don't mind us we're just spilling our guts,"_ Loki responded, both still staring.

" _If this is love I don't wanna be loved,"_ She shook her head, remembering they're conversation that faithful day of interrogation. " _You pollute the room with a filthy tongue."_

" _Watch me choke it down so I can throw it up,"_ His smirk grew into a smile.

"Loki," Thor warned. "I said you needed to be on your best behavior."

" _Don't mind us we're just spilling our guts,"_ Natasha responded. " _If this is love I don't wanna be hanging by the neck Before an audience of death."_

"Yes," Loki leaned further into her personal space. "Lady Natasha and I are just getting to," He chuckled. "Get to know each other. Isn't that right Princess?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Yeah, let's play an ice breaker, Loki? _You could be the corpse and I could be the killer."_

" _If I could be the devil, you could be the sinner,"_ He offered with a hungry smile.

" _You could be the drugs and I could be the dealer,"_ She smirked. "Maybe that way I can get rid of you once and for all?"

" _Everything you say is like music to my, music to my ears,"_ Loki leaned forward. "Tell me, Lady Natasha, what must I do to have you kneel for me?"

"Loki!"

"I don't know," Natasha shrugged casually, leaning back as she smirked. "Have a dick like your brothers?"

"Natasha!"

"Really?" Loki smiled, laughing slightly. "You certainly didn't seem to mind my 'dick' when we first met."

"Loki!" Thor boomed.

"Nat?"

" _Don't mind us we're just spilling our guts,"_ Natasha snapped. " _If this is love I don't wanna be loved."_

" _You pollute the room with a filthy tongue,"_ Loki smiled, holding his arms out. " _Watch me choke it down so I can throw it up."_

"What the hell are you even doing here, Loki?" Natasha snapped her hands in fists.

"It just so happens that _Failure find_ s _me_ in your pleasant company once more," He straightened himself up, hazarding a glance at the others who were all in varying degrees of unhappy and uncomfortable with the current altercation happening before them. "Now however I see that my fate may be _to_ have you _tie me up now."_ He smirked, focusing once more on her. " _Cause I'm as bad, as bad as it gets."_ He hummed lightly at her cold stare. "Tell, me Lady Natasha, why are you here hm? Why are you an Avenger?"

"It's where my _Failure find_ s _me,"_ She returned. "I was given the choice to join Sheild or they were going _To hang me up now, By my neck cause I'm a fate worse than death."_

"You truly are, aren't you?" He met her glare with a honeysuckle smile.

"My word Thor," She sent him a glare before turning with a smile to the other. " _What a cyanide surprise you have left for my eyes. If I had common sense I'd cut myself or curl up and die."_

"Nat, let's get out of here we can go get some lunch or something," Clint walked over, reaching out for Natasha's arm, taking it in his hand as she let him.

"Yeah, maybe we should all take a breather and regroup in a couple of hours," Steve agreed.

"Oh _Don't mind us we're just spilling our guts,"_ Loki smiled at the back of her head as Barton got her to walk away. "Tell me, Agent Romanoff, is this love?"

Natasha turned on him, her anger and fight coming back a hundred fold as she screamed. " _If this is love I don't wanna be loved, You pollute the room with a filthy tongue. Watch me choke it down so I can throw it up."_

"There is something of mine you can choke down if you'd like," Loki offered.

"Loki that is enough!"

" _Don't mind us we're just spilling our guts,"_ Natasha snapped, not taking her eyes off the trickster.

" _If this is love I don't wanna be hanging by the neck,"_ Loki responded calmly. " _Before an audience of death."_ He raised an eyebrow into the air.

She glared at him, huffing out a deep breath. "My room. Two minutes. No pants."

"Natasha!"

"I'll be there in under a minute, my Princess," He grinned, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

Without looking back, Natasha stomped out of the room, going to the emergency stairs instead of the elevator for better speed.

Loki turned to the visibly shaken Avengers.

"What the fuck," Clint asked.

"Loki," Thor said in a low, warning voice. "You are not to go to Lady Natasha's floor at any point in our time in Midgard."

"Do you hear that, Jarvis," Tony yelled. "That's an order."

"Agent Romanoff has already overridden this order on her own accord and has placed her room under lockdown for the rest of the day until tomorrow morning," Jarvis informed with a snicker in his voice.

Loki straightened his heavy leather jacket with a smile, looking up to both of them. " _Fuck you all."_ With that, he vanished into thin air.


	35. Chapter 35 Fire and Vaca

AN: Sorry for going ghost on ya'll for so long. Live has been crazy as I'm sure it has been for everyone. Plus side to all the madness? I'm happy to say I'm pregnant!

Tony stretched his back as they walked up the small stairwell to one of Natasha's secure apartments, four loud pops sounded from his back to signal just how much he needs to start rejoining training. In front of him, Peter coughed and he could swear that some soot came out. As it was, everyone was covered in ash, aside from Peter who was covered in white thanks to Wanda who pulled the fire extinguisher on him. All in all, it was much better than Tony thought would happen, but judging from Steve's tense back and Sam's random head shakes… he could only imagine what Pepper was going to say when she got back from Japan.

"All I'm saying is that it could have been worse," Tony muttered, only to flinch when Steve turned on him, ash on his scowling face.

"You burnt down your lab not to mention half of the residential halls," Sam snapped.

"Peter was on fire," Wanda reminded him.

"Only a little," Peter said weakly. "Thank you for putting me out though."

"What were you thinking?" Clint rolled his eyes. "It was… It was the stupidest thing you've ever done."

"Far from, actually," Tony cringed raising his hands. "Okay, it was stupid. I know the powers of those lasers and I'm sorry. The Iron Legion is working on repairs now. Give it a day, two tops and we'll be back in our wing of the Compound. Promise."

"You better damn well hope Nat isn't home," Steve crossed his arms. "She said she had something to take care of in France, but she didn't say when she'd be back."

"I texted Bucky," Sam offered as they started up the steps again. "Told him he should stay visiting with his nieces a bit longer. Didn't respond so maybe he hasn't seen it yet."

"Vision and Rhodey were not surprised," Wanda told them. "In fact, they had a bet going on how long it would take Tony to break something with them _and_ Pepper being gone at the same time."

"It's this one," Clint said stopping them in front of the door. He hesitated to put the key in, instead of pushing his ear to the door. "I hear music. She must be home. Cap, you got the shield, you go she won't ask questions first."

Sighing, Steve stepped forward, turning the key and raising his shield as everyone huddled behind him. They walked in slowly into her opening hall, Abba's _Waterloo_ blaring through the entire apartment, the smell of cigarette smoke and pancakes filling the air. They hesitated at the opening of the hallway, nearly jumping as Natasha slid into view.

Her large fluffy socks helped her slide against the hardwood, wearing nothing but an overly large black teeshirt and bright pink panties occasionally popping out as she danced. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail, most of the curls spilling out. She danced, wiggling her body as she sang loudly. " _I feel like I win when I loooooooose!"_ She whipped her head around in a circle, the ponytail falling out of her hair. She danced in a circle of eyes widening as she saw the equally shocked and highly amused Avengers standing in her apartment.

She let out a squeak, falling flat on her ass as she reached under the couch on instinct pulling out a gun. "Shit! What the fuck?"

"Tali?" Their head snapped to the kitchen entryway as Bucky came around it, hair in a bun with a cigarette hanging out his mouth, a gun in one hand and a pan with a flapjack in the other. Humorously enough all he wore was a pink apron reading "Kiss the Cook" with a big red glittery mouth on it. "Oh, it's you guys." He put the gun on the counter. "What the hell are you guys doing here?"

"What are we doing here?" Sam laughed. "Man, what are you doing here? Nat your niece or something?"

"Yeah, Nat," Clint fought back a smile as she glared at them, working her way to standing. "What are you doing here? This isn't France but I'm guessing you're doing some French things."

"What are you doing here?" Natasha snapped.

"Tony light the Compound on fire," Steve explained. "We're here for a day or two."

Natasha sighed. "I'm busy right now-"

"Sure looks like it," Wanda snickered.

She glared at them. "Get a hotel and get out."

"Yeah, we're doing breakfast in bed and it's not big enough for you idiots too," Bucky called.

"I'm sorry how long has this been going on?" Clint smirked.

"We made it six glorious months without you lot finding out," Bucky answered reemerging with a coffee cup in hand. "And Stark had to ruin it all."

"I rent the apartments above and below this one as well," Natasha continued to glare. "If you must, you can use those two. Now get the hell out."

"But we also wanted breakfast," Peter whined, "Mr. Whiteworlf makes the best pancakes."

Bucky looked him up and down, taking a long drag of his cig, "Why are you covered in white, punk?"

"I was on fire, now I'm now," Peter answered. "We should all be happy."

"Get," Natasha growled. "Out. This is my vacation."

"Everyone out," Steve ordered trying to shepherd them all to the door. "She looks murderous."


	36. Cheats

"What the hell is this?" Tony asked for the third time. The majority of the Avengers were all sitting together in the commons, each taking turns to show everyone their favorite Youtubers. Peter, Tony, Wanda, Vision, and Sam all participated while Natasha sat at the kitchen island, watching every now and then as she read some fashion magazine Pepper had left behind in her haste to leave for her business meeting. Hill had dragged Bucky out for a second date, a relationship that had seemed to surprise everyone but Sam and Natasha. Steve had gone up to his floor with Sharon, after a nice date the two had politely slunk off together, which lead to a large glass of vodka in front of Natasha which she was passing off for water with the others.

"Her name is Emelia Fart, Mr. Stark," Peter answered offended. "And she is an Icon."

"I like Jenna Marbles the most," Wanda yawned.

"Pewdiepie," Sam moved his hands in a fast motion. "That's all."

"I prefer Marikiplier," Vision crossed his arms. "He cares the most."

"Trisha Paytas," Natasha called. "She is a constant trainwreck and that entertains me to no end. She is majorly problematic and honestly, at this point, I just want to see what bat-shit crazy thing she'll do next."

"Oh that's true," Stark nodded, pointing back at her. "Come over here, let's pick one."

Natasha just sighed, standing up from her seat to go lean on the empty love seat. "Anything, where she's crying on her kitchen floor, is a good one, but we could also watch some of her old collabs with Shane-" She paused, the stairwell door flying open as Sharron stalked into the commons, lipstick smudged in a deep frown, eyeliner welled around her eyes and her and clothes in complete disarray.

Natasha could tell by the anger and tears in the girl's eyes that a slap was coming her way just as some ugly truth had just slapped Sharon in the face. So when Sharon's shoulder dropped and hand raised, Natasha decided that, with all she had done to this woman, she could let her have one slap.

The resounding slap was followed by a group-wide gasp that had to have cut the room's oxygen in half. Natasha stumbled back a step, the back of her knees hitting against the arm of the love seat, her own hand reflexively coming up to her now red, stinging cheek, her mouth in a small 'O' as her Natasha's eyes widened.

"You-You slut," Sharon sniffed, shaking off her sore hand.

Wanda moved to sit up, opening her mouth to speak only stop when Natasha subtly raised her hand in a warning motion. "Sharo-"

"No," She snapped. "You have everything. You have- You're an Avenger. You're beautiful. You're smart. You're funny. You can have anyone you want, so why?" Tears of anger and frustration spilled onto her cheeks. "Why did it have to be my boyfriend?"

"Sharon it's not like that," Natasha said quickly.

"Then why did he say your name?" Sharon snapped. "When we were- he was about to- he said _your_ name, not mine. Explain that."

"I-" A thousand excuses came to mine, a thousand lies she could tell. Outs for just her. Outs for just Steve. Even a few outs that could save both of them but all seemed to fall flat compared to the battle in Sharon's eyes. "I can't. I'm sorry."

"I…" Sharron pinched her eyes shut. "I can't believe that Captain America cheated on me with the fucking Black Widow."

"No, that is hard to believe," Natasha said quietly looking down. She looked up, regarding the broken women, the one she had broken, in front of her. "But maybe it isn't as hard to believe that Steve and Natasha would."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sharron snapped, eyes full of rage.

Natasha shrugged. "People tend to forget the man behind the shield. That's all I'm saying." Sharon raised her hand again, however this time on the downswing, Natasha caught her wrist. "I let you get one in, you're not getting another."

Steve burst through the stairway door, pants the only thing he seemed to have time to throw on as he had no shoes or shirt. He panted showing the haste he had been in to find Sharron before she found Natasha. His eyes flicked to Natasha, then Sharon, then the frozen Avengers on the couch before settling back to Sharon. "Sharon I'm sorry I just-" He strode toward her, his hands out and pleading.

"Are you two sleeping together?" She snapped, closing her eyes. "Have you two had sex while we've been dating, Steve?"

He looked to Natasha, a small sigh escaping him as his shoulders fell. "Yes."

The simple answer stole the air from Sharon's lungs. "How long?"

"Before you two started dating," Natasha answered meekly but honestly.

"So what?" Sharon spun on them. "I'm the other woman?"

"No," Natasha shook her head. "That's still me."

"What about Matt?" Sharon asked tears in her eyes. "You're dating him, what about him?"

Natasha shrugged weakly. "A couple of dates doesn't mean we're dating."

"You really are the whore of Russia aren't you?" Sharon asked shaking her head in disbelief.

"A whore says yes to everyone," Natasha replied. "I've turned down plenty."

"So you're saying you seduced my boyfriend," Sharon growled.

"Who said _I_ seduced _him_?" Natasha caught yet another slap from Sharon. "You try that one more time and you'll be waking up with two broken wrists."

There was a tense pause where both women glared, ready for a fight before Tony stood up. "Welp, this has been entertaining as hell, really, wish this could go on all day, but I don't need to clean any more blood out of the carpet. It's new, you know, so ah- Friday? Have Happy get the car ready. Shar, if you go down to the garage, Happy will drive you home. How's that sound?"

Sharon ripped her hand back, never breaking her staring match with Natasha, before abruptly turning around, stalking off to the elevator, shoving Steve out of the way as she went.

"Sharon I'm sor-"

"Don't talk to me ever again," Sharon snapped. She cut another glare at Natasha. "I hope you choke to death sucking his dick."

"I plan too," Natasha called after her, receiving a middle finger in response. Natasha took in a deep breath. "Well," She let out the breath in a huff. "I'm not sure about you all but I could go for a drink."

"I think I'm getting my first migraine since the forties," Steve rubbed his face.


	37. When the Parties Over

When the Parties Over by Billie Eilish

Natasha should have known better. She should have known better. That was her only thought as she sat, slumped at her kitchen island, her head resting on her arms as she stared at the now-empty handle of vodka. She had messaged Clint over an hour ago to bring more. She should have known better than to let her stock dwindle down to only one handle of vodka. She should have known better than to message Clint. She should have known better than to fall for Steve.

It was all so stupid, the situation she had caught herself into. They had been on their way back from a mission that morning when it all blew up in her face and she only had herself to blame. Why would she ever think Pepper could keep a secret?

They were all laughing at the tower after the mission when she had started to tease Steve about getting a date from this century. They were all laughing at the time and maybe she did go a bit far by joking that Peper would find someone better and Tony would be alone soon. Maybe she shouldn't have gone that far. They were all tired and sore and blowing off steam from nearly dying during the mission by laughing and teasing one another. So maybe she did go a bit to bit too far. But Tony. Tony had turned it to war within a second.

"Yeah, Red, you and me both."

"Please," Wanda scoffed. "Nat can have any man she wants."

"Can she?" Tony sat taller making the room take on an uncomfortable air. "Are we sure?"

Natasha had taken this as a new challenge from her seat next to Steve. "Of course, any woman too."

"Uh-huh, are you sure about that?" He raised a brow at her.

Natasha just rolled her eyes. "What's this about, Stark?"

"About?" He shrugged as everyone watched him. "Nothing, just thought you should know that in a healthy relationship, people talk to each other."

Natasha narrowed her eyes, not liking in turn this game was taking. "What do you mean you barely have a relationship let alone a healthy one."

"Nothing," He shrugged, pulling his whiskey up to his mouth, his Ironman suit grinding as he did. "I just think it's funny how much a Russian can be in love with an American icon."

Natasha could feel everyone take in their deep breaths of fear as the room went completely ridged. "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about Stark." She said his name slowly, adding venom and warning to his name as possible.

Tony shrugged, smiling slightly. "That's not what Peper said you told her. What were the words exactly?"

"Stark," Clint warned.

"I think I remember."

"I highly suggest not remembering." Vision advised.

"I think it was something along the line of 'Steve makes me want to get married and have 2.5 kids and a dog with him.' Isn't that right?" Natasha was practically vibrating in her chair with anger but that didn't stop him. "Although I agree with you, your eyes and his hair would make an adorable baby." He scoffed. "Like it'd ever happen."

The room was tense most people expecting Natasha to jump across the coffee table and rip Tony's head off. No one was expecting tears to spring into Natasha's eyes. Maybe it was because the mission had been tasking and left all of them on edge. Maybe it was because she was fried from her daily life. Maybe it was because his words had hit their mark for once and actually hurt the hell out of her. All she knew for sure was that everyone was staring at her, expecting her to kill Tony, only to have tears start falling from her eyes.

"Natasha…" Wanda began but couldn't finish a thought, completely at a loss for anything comforting to say.

" 'Tash," Clint winced as a fat tear rolled onto her cheek.

Stark immediately began to pale. He had aimed to hurt her, to make her angry and upset as he always was when they brought up his and Peper's relationship but this? This was not what he wanted. "Shit, Natasha I'm-"

Natasha jumped to her feet as more tears came down her eyes. "You went too far, Stark." She snapped jabbing a finger at him. "Fuck you."

And that was how she found herself, half-awake basically laying in a puddle of vodka-soaked tears in one of her safe houses on the outside of town. She sighed as there was a knock on the door. "If you're Clint you better have Vodka, if you aren't fuck off." She yelled unmovingly. "Unless you have vodka."

The door slowly cracked open to revile Steve, with two handles of Vodka in his hands. "Nat?"

He put the handles in front of her, before leaning opposite her, and still, she didn't move. "Nat?"

She didn't respond, instead, she raised, whipping her face with the back of her hand before opening the bottle of her vodka before drinking it straight from the bottle.

"So," Steve began as he chugged. "You… you like me?"

" _Don't you know I'm no good for you?"_ She looked up to him making unfeeling eye contact. " _I've learned to lose, you can't afford to."_ She sighed. "I've _Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin' But nothin' ever stops you leavin'."_

"You're right, we've been through a lot together Nat, and we'll be through much more before our times up, you know," He smiled at her. "All I'm saying is, maybe… well, don't you ever feel alone?"

"It's _Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own,"_ She sighed, taking another sip of vodka. " _I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that."_

"Do you really?" He quirked up a smirk at her.

She shrugged again. " _I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that._ I could say I like it like that, but," She let out a deep sigh. "We both know I would be lying."

"Why couldn't we be together, Nat?" Steve questioned. "We don't need to go fast or do anything too serious, you know. Just a date, or two… or three. You know, see how it goes, get to know one another?"

" _Don't you know too much already? I'll only hurt you if you let me_ so you just _Call me friend, but keep me closer And I'll call you when the party's over."_

"Come on Nat, it worth a try, I mean, I'm more than willing to try with you, Natasha." Steve reached out grabbing her hand in his. "Just give us a chance, Natasha. We could really have something here."

She looked up at him glassy eyes. " _But nothin' is better sometimes. Once we've both said our goodbyes…_ " She sighed, resting her head back on the table and turning away. " _Let's just let it go. Let me let you go."_

Steve sighed, letting go of her hand before he sat down. "I won't. But I'll let the topic go, for now, let's just sit for a bit, huh?"

"That…" Natasha sighed, smiling slightly. "That sounds nice actually."


	38. My Demons

Ship: Bucky and Nat

Warnings: Heavy mentions of mental breaks and self-harm

Song: My Demons by Starset

She was sprinting away from her targets. The mission was a success by most standards, but one thing was still worrying her. When they had her tied to the chair, before she broke it apart and then used it to break their skulls, what had they injected her with?

"Natasha?" Steve called knocking on the door to her floor in Avengers Tower. "Jarvis told us that you turned on Total Security for your floor then turned him off."

"Yeah, and you hacked him so that he wouldn't tell us what the hell was going on," Tony yelled banging his fist hard on the door. "Not cool!"

"Go away!" Natasha screeched through the door.

"Natasha?" Steve tried again. "We just need to lay eyes on you. Fury says that you disconnected your phone."

"Leave," She called out again.

"Alright," Tony said tapping a panel by the door. "This was fun and all but I've got better things to do." He typed rapidly until there came a click from the door. "Let's get a move on shall we?"

Steve rolled his eyes then pushed the door open a crack, peeking his head in. "Nat?" He called to the dark flat. "Where are you?"

"Get out of here," She hissed. "They're all around."

Steve stepped in motioning for Tony to follow him. "Who's here, Nat?"

"Jarvis showed her as the only one on this level for the past week," Tony answered.

"He's wrong," Natasha rasped. "They keep coming. They won't let me be. I can't sleep." Her voice was weak but still, they followed it until they saw a dark blob on the kitchen floor.

"Natasha," Steve said slowly. "I'm gonna turn on the light okay?"

"Cap," Tony said rocking on his feet.

"What?" Steve asked feeling around for the switch.

"The floors sticky," Tony said picking his foot up so they could hear the tearing sound.

"Don't turn on the light," Natasha begged.

"The switch should be on that wall," Tony said pointing to where he had it in his blueprints. Steve followed it while Tony unzipped his hoodie, the faint glow of the reactor lighting up the floor. "Cap, hurry."

"Why?" He asked looking back.

"Its blood," Tony answered. "Find that damn switch."

"The lights hurt," Natasha whined.

"It'll just be for a second," Tony called trying to keep her calm. "Steve?"

"Found it," With that, the kitchen was light up.

For as much as they had seen, this was on a new level. Had Tony been by himself with her, he probably would have vomited, he already had to swallow it down.

"Nat…" Steve whispered. Bloody handprints and small puddles covered the kitchen. Each knife from her kitchen set was strewn around. The gore of this was enough to make them want to vomit, but the sight of the Black Widow was what broke their souls. She sat, in only her bra and panties, covered in bleeding wounds she had clearly given herself. Cuts up and down her arms, her stomach, and her thighs. A paring knife in her bloody trembling hand was enough to leave them both needing a trip to the psychologist. "What happened?"

"It's in me," She lamented up to them. "Demons."

"Natalie," Tony said kneeling down a few feet from her. "Can I have the knife please?"

She shook her head, pulling herself in tighter. "They'll come back. I need to protect myself."

"Okay," Tony nodded. "That's okay. Hey, where are your guns?"

"I ran out of bullets before it was time," She held up one of her Glocks to her head and pulled the trigger, making both of the men jump. "No more bullets."

Tony looked around the loft quickly, seeing bullet holes in every wall. "I can see that," He held out his hand. "Why don't you give me the gun huh?" She hesitated. "If they come back I need a weapon." Tony reasoned. Natasha nodded slightly handing him the Glock. "Hey, Steve?"

"Yeah?" He asked bending down.

"Natasha and I are gonna stay here," Tony answered. "But it sounds like whoever did this could be here soon. Why don't you go tell everyone we have to suit up?"

"No," Natasha sat forward. "I don't want you all getting hurt."

"Tony is right," Steve nodded taking the excuse given to him to go and get the correct help to take care of her. "We'll be hurt more if we aren't ready. I'll be right back okay?"

Tony sighed as Steve ran for help, sitting back against the island across from her. Natasha began to shake and clutch the knife harder. "Ya know," Tony started. "This isn't the first time I've been in this kind of situation. Only, Pepper was taking care of me and asking a gun out of _my_ hand." He looked her up and down. "I was wondering when you'd finally crack."

"I'm not crazy," Natasha snapped, glaring at him.

"Of course," Tony nodded. "So can I have that knife yet?"

"No," Natasha answered. "They'll come again soon to try and kill me."

"Who?" Tony asked.

"The people from the Red Room," She answered hugging her knees and rocking. "And all the people I've killed as Black Widow."

Tony only let his headrest back. "Yup, exact same situation."

"What the hell happened to her?" Clint asked as they watched Natasha try and get out of the restraints from her bed. It had only taken five minutes for Steve to get back to them with help. After that, Bruce gave her something to calm down and they carried her up to the med wing. Fury and Hill were currently on their way. The Avengers were watching as Natasha tried to get out of bed, crying out for help.

"She snapped," Tony shrugged. "Happens to everyone."

"Why are her eyes so red?" Steve asked.

Bruce just shrugged. "Not sure, she probably popped blood vessels in them."

"Nat," Clint said walking over to her side. "You have to stop thrashing around like that, you'll hurt yourself. You're already opening some of your cuts."

Her face contorted in deep pain as she rolled and thrashed more. "Need… help..."

"My God," Fury and Hill stopped at the door seeing her in such a state. "What the hell happened to her."

"Natasha?" Hill walked over to her fighting back tears.

"We aren't sure director," Steve answered. "We believe she may have had some sort of mental break."

Fury only nodded. "I didn't think it would be like this when it happened."

"What's going on?" Bucky asked walking in. Having had his brain cleaned by the best doctors in the world and being made a war hero after what Hydra had done to him, he had been allowed to work with the Avengers. Mostly because he only seemed to trust Steve. "Jarvis said there was an emergency in the Med Wing and I- What the hell?" His eyes landed on Natasha.

"I'm sorry," Natasha sobbed, making everyone turn to her. "I'm sorry Madame I won't do it again please…"

"Nat," Bucky broke past Steve, pushing Clint away from her side. "Natalia?"

"Buck," Steve spoke up. "She's had a mental break we-"

"James?" Natasha asked looking up at him. "Soldat?"

"I'm here," He said kneeling down to her face. "Natalia."

"I… I'm sorry I missed the mark…" She cried. "They're hurting me."

"It's okay," Bucky spoke. "I got him remember? I got our target."

"So the rumors are true?" Fury asked.

"Rumors?" Clint spoke. "What rumors."

"It's been rumored that the Black Widow and the Winter Soldier were once partners," Hill answered with an arched brow.

"Isn't a rumor," Bucky answered standing up. "We did."

" _Mayday_ ," Natasha said looking up to him. " _Mayday."_

"Shit," Bucky cursed putting his hand on her cheek. "Her eyes."

"She said she hasn't slept-" Bruce began.

"That's not it," Bucky began to undo her restraints. "You fucking idiots, restraining her?"

"She kept trying to get up," Steve said carefully. "She needs-"

"She needs to stop being tortured," Bucky snapped undoing the last one. He helped her sit up carefully. "Talia?"

" _The ship is slowly sinking,_ " Natasha said hunching over, her hands knotting in his shirt. " _They think I'm crazy but they don't know the feeling._ You do."

Bucky nodded. She wasn't like this, but why did it seem so familiar. "I know." He nodded.

" _They're all around me,"_ She sat up beginning to panic again. " _Circling like vultures."_

"Who?" Fury asked. Natasha seeming ignored him and began to hyperventilate.

"Who?" Bucky asked smoothing down her hair. "What do they want?"

" _They wanna break me and wash away my colors,"_ She cried. " _Wash away my colors._ I just got them. Please don't let them take them back. Please, James."

"Okay," He nodded. "I won't. You know that. You're here with me know. You're safe."

She looked hopefully at him. " _Take me high and I'll sing. Oh, you make everything okay._ "

" _We are one in the same,_ " Bucky nodded.

" _Oh you take all of the pain away,_ " Natasha stood shakily making him stand to hold her. " _Save me if I become, My demons."_

"Your demons?" Bucky asked. That's where he knew it. "Fuck."

"What?" Steve asked. "Has this happened before?"

Bucky nodded then turned to Fury. "What was her last mission?"

"There was an old Soviet arms dealer that she had to take care of," He answered.

"Was she captured?" Bucky asked.

"She said for an hour," Hill answered. "Before she got bored and broke out. Killing all of them."

" _I cannot stop this sickness taking over,"_ Natasha whimpered swaying and pulling on Bucky's shirt. " _It takes control and drags me into nowhere. I need your help, I can't fight this forever. I know you're watching,"_ She turned to everyone else. " _I can feel you out there."_

"Where?" Bucky asked checking her legs, every forming scar he could find. "Natalia where?"

She lifted up the sleeve of the medical gown they had put on her. " _Take me high and I'll sing._ "

"I need a scalpel," Bucky said holding out his hand. When nothing was handed he turned to them nearly enraged. "Now!"

"What are you planning to do?" Bruce asked.

Bucky sighed. "They injected her with an old KGB weapon. It's part of an old bomb that exploded. Kinda like what happened to Stark. But the compound they used to make the bomb was poisonous. If part of the shrapnel gets in you, it poisons you slowly, targeting your brain. It turns you against yourself, showing you past horrors until you can't take it and kill yourself." He answered. "I've injected it in people before and so has she. Hell, she's had it in her before too for training." He elaborated. "There's an antidote, I know it and I'll help make it AFTER I get this damn thing OUT OF HER NOW!" He took a calming breath. "Scalpel?"

Tony was the one to hand it to him. Bucky turned back to Natasha and smiled. "This is gonna hurt okay? But it's gonna make you feel better."

" _Oh you make everything okay,"_ She put her hand on his face. " _Okay, okay."_

"That's right," He nodded feeling the bump of the metal under her skin.

" _We are one in the same,"_ Natasha nodded running her fingers over his lips. " _Oh, you take all of the pain away. Away. Away. Save me if I become, my demons."_

 __"I will," He nodded turning to her shoulder. "Now take a deep breath." With that, he cut the skin over the metal implant. She whimpered as he pinched her until the shard came out of her and fell onto the bed. He put his hand over the bleeding hole. "There, all better."

"I'll get more band-aids and something to clean that," Bruce said walking to the wall of drawers.

Natasha grabbed onto James's face. " _Take me over the walls below. Fly forever."_

"Okay," He nodded taking her hands off of him.

She let go only to throw her arms around him. " _Don't let me go. I need a savior to heal my pain when I become my worst enemy."_

"You're okay now," He hugged her back as everyone watched with raised eyebrows. "I got you."

"Just what did the rumors say?" Clint joked. Steve elbowed him, showing that this was not the time for it.

" _Take me high and I'll sing, you make everything okay,"_ She backed up to see his face. " _We are one in the same you take all of the pain away. Take me high and I'll sing."_

"What is the antidote?" Fury asked. "And how long will it take?"

"It's an alloy that soaks up the chemical released," Bucky answered. "Stark will have to make it and make it small, Banner will have to put it in the same spot as the poison was."

" _Oh, you make everything okay. We are one in the same."_ She repeated. " _Oh, you take all of the pain away. Save me if I become my demons."_ Bucky sat on the bed, Natasha slowly moved that her head was in his lap making her eyes flutter closed. "Haven't slept… in so long…"

"We got you," Bucky told her and Banner cleaned her arm. "You're safe now. The poison's out. You'll feel better in no time."

" _Take me high and I'll sing,"_ She sighed. " _Oh, you make everything okay, okay, okay."_ She let out a long yawn.

"So she'll be okay?" Hill asked worriedly, Natasha is one of her few friends.

"In the long run?" Bucky asked.

" _We are one in the same,"_ She whispered, half asleep. " _Oh, you take all of the pain away, away, away."_

"Yes," Bucky answered. "But…"

"But?" Steve prompted.

"She's had this in over a week," Bucky was hesitant. "Most people ended up killing themselves after a few days. The fact she made it a whole week is… insane."

"She tried to kill herself," Tony answered. "But she ran out of bullets."

"She had knives," Bucky answered rubbing the cuts on her arms lightly. "The fact that she kept herself alive for so long is a miracle. I don't know what she saw or went through. She'll be okay because she survived a week with that poison in her. But…" He let the implications of whatever complications her mind would have hung in the air as they all watched her fall asleep.

" _Save me if I become My demons."_


	39. Arrested

Ship: Steve and Nat

The Avengers new and old, save for Thor and Banner, sat in the common area enjoying a quiet moment until it was time to turn in for the night. Vision was reading a new cookbook with Wanda sitting at his feet with a coloring book to calm her anxiety. Clint was lounging on the couch trying to unstick his fingers from a finger trap as was Peter, hanging in a hammock he made from his webbing. Bucky was currently reading a tabloid magazine, trying to catch up on the times while Tony typed away on a computer. It was calm and damn near normal until Friday's voice interrupted it.

"Boss?"

"Yeah Baby Girl?" Tony responded eyes still glued to the computer.

"I've allowed access to two police officers, they are currently on their way up in the elevator," She informed casually. "Their credentials checked out."

"Why would you allow police in here?" Tony demanded slightly panicked. "Do they have a warrant?"

"No, Boss," Friday answered. "They're not picking up. Just dropping off."

"Dropping off?" Wanda questioned.

"Trust me, you all will just want to see this," Friday replyed.

The elevator dinged, a portly and gleaming eyed officer walking out. "Uh, Mr. Stark? Ironman, I mean. Avengers," He waved to them starstruck as they all turned to see him.

"Officer," Tony nodded standing up. "I was told you were dropping something off?"

"Oh, uh yeah here," He turned to the elevator. "Walk 'em out, Turner."

Out walked a disheveled and smirking Natasha next to an equally disheveled and deeply embarrassed Steve. Between them, Officer Turner guided the two cuffed detainees, looking like quite a bean poll compared to the two Avengers he was leading.

"Steve?" James sat up walking over to the entryway with the rest of the Avengers. "What happened?"

"Nat?" Clint hopped up rolling his eyes. "Tell me you didn't jump someone or kill someone or dismember someone, actually," He held up a hand. "Don't say shit I don't wanna be involved."

"Why are they being detained?" Wanda asked. "What did they do to get them cuffed up."

"Did you taz them?" Peter asked.

"No, they wouldn't be caught if they didn't want to," Tony smirked. "What was it they did officer?"

The lead officer smiled broadly. "Well, we got a call down at the beach. It's closed to the public at night so they have trespassing as well as pubic indecency. Ms. Romanoff also has resisting arrest and fleeing police."

"Honestly," Turner gushed. "We only caught her cause Captian America. We thought he was running away too but he just grabbed her and brought her back. Told her if he was going down then she was going down with him."

Everyone turned to Clint as he fought back his laughter. "I'm sorry it's just…" He let out one more laugh before turning to the Officer. "So trespassing I get. If she didn't resist or try to flee I'd be worried-"

"So that just leaves the public indecency," Tony smiled largely. "Care to enlighten us?"

"Wait," Wanda held up a hand. "Natasha you said you were going for drinks with Hill tonight."

"And you, punk," Bucky smiled. "Said you were going out with Sam."

"Well?" Peter crossed his arms. "We're waiting."

Natasha looked up to Steve's bright red face and tight lips. "We got caught having sex on the beach."

"What?"

"Excuse me?"

Natasha shrugged. "Every time I say I'm out with Hill I'm really seeing Steve. He says he's out with Sam so Bucky doesn't tag along. We've been dating for over four months now and none of you noticed." She shook her head. "Honestly, you should all be ashamed of yourselves."

"Natasha," Steve snapped at her. "We're the ones cuffed and arrested for having sex in public."

Tony openly smirked as he turned to the officer. "Well, you brought them here instead of the station. So what is next?"

"Honestly, it didn't sit right with neither of us to arrest an Avenger, let alone Captian America, with how often you've all saved our town, hell, world!" He turned to his partner. "We're thinking we let them slide with a warning in turn for some photos with the Avengers and some autographs?"

"Yes, Officer that is completely fair and doable." Wanda nodded. "Thank you very much."

"Great!" He smiled. "Turner, release 'em."

Turner unlocked Steve's then turned to Natasha who did nothing more than hold up her already undone handcuffs with a shrug.

"Honestly, we didn't even do anything that bad," Natasha shrugged.

"Nat," Steve gapped. "We got caught having sex on a public beach."

"At midnight."

"It was closed."

"See? No one would have been there."

"Nat you ran on top of a cop car trying to run away!" Steve said exasperated.

"Yeah," She turned on him, hands on her hips. "I didn't intend on getting arrested and I wouldn't have if you wouldn't have turned on me like that."

"You shouldn't run from cops!"

"Why?" She threw up her hands. "It's great cardio." Steve put his hand on his head gritting his teeth. "And why are you mad at me this wasn't my fault."

"You were the one that convinced me to have sex! I wanted to wait till we got back here," He gestured madly with each word.

"You were the one who took me on a date to the beach!" She pointed out. "Which was lovely and romantic so thank you." She snapped. "I had a great night."

"Well me too," Steve barked. "I love spending time with you."

"So do I," Natasha yelled. "Let's do it again some night."

"How about tomorrow!"

"Great! It's a date!"

"Can you two keep it in your pants so we can fix this?" Tony snapped at them. "Come on, we got photos to take."


	40. Chapter 40 Kissaphobic

Ship: Nat and Bucky

Song: Kissaphobic by Make Out Monday

"Why don't you ask her to dance?" Bucky jumped, as Steve nudged him, coming from nowhere. "You've been watching her all night." Steve shrugged. "At this point, if you don't ask her, it's creepy."

"I'm not creepy, punk," Bucky muttered weakly into his scotch. The Avengers, both New and Old, had gathered at a Charity Ball, hosted by Stark. Attendance was mandatory, otherwise only half of them would have shown up. While no one seemed to really want to be there on their one free Friday night, Bucky had to admit that the deep purple floor-length gown Natasha was in made his attendance slightly better. The dress was strapless as well as a very, very, high slit that went to her hip bone on one side, showing off her six-inch heels. That had made him chuckle, of course, she needs those, otherwise, she would be ahead and a half shorter than all of them.

"No, you are pretty creepy, but you're creepier if you stare at a dame all night and don't ask her to dance, or at least talk to her," Steve smiled, self-satisfied to repeat that lesson, even if it was over seventy years due. "You taught me that."

Damnit. "Hold his," Bucky growled, shoving his glass into Steve's hand before stalking across the hall to Natasha. He came up to her, interrupting a conversation she was having with two rather pervy men looking at her chest. Assholes. "Sorry to interrupt, Natasha, would you care for a dance?"

"Yes, thank you," Natasha smiled largely taking his hand and letting him lead her. "Sorry, men, more maybe we can continue with the conversation later?"

A few affirmatives came but he ignored them as he walked them into the center of the dance floor. On hand rested on her waist as the other held her hand up, instead of pulling her close, he pushed her and held her as far away as possible, almost five inches away.

"Thank you so much for saving me from that conversation," She sighed. "Those two have been trying to convince me to go home with them and 'talk business'."

"Yeah, you looked ready to draw blood," He commented dryly.

She sighed, trying to close the distance only to raise an eyebrow when he wouldn't let her. "Well, may I just say that you look quite dapper today." She smiled up at him. "You clean up quite nicely. A simple suit, and a man bun. Very attractive."

"Thank you," He avoided looking at her, instead of scanning the room any danger. "You look… breathtaking as aways."

She smiled. "Is that why you've been watching me all night?" When all he did was grunt and refuse to look at her, she smirked. "I'm glad you finally asked for a dance, otherwise you would have been creepy."

"I'm not creepy," He snapped finally looking at her, only to look away once more.

"Agree to disagree," Her smirk disappeared as she turned serious. "You've been avoiding me since you got here. Going to the opposite side of any room we're in. Leaving when I enter a room and it's just the two of us. Don't even get me started on the clipped comments and answers you give me. What's up?"

"Nothing," He could feel himself beginning to blush.

"Did I do something? Say something?" She shrugged. "We're dancing but I'm standing an arm's length away. James," She paused at his eyes snapped to hers. "Talk to me."

"I'm… _I'm kissaphobic,"_ He answered embarrassed. "I _Don't wanna get too close to you."_

"Why?" She tilted her head to the side in question.

" _Your mouth is a hurricane, Something sweet before the pain,"_ He frowned, glancing down at her lips before looking away. " _I'm kissaphobic. That body doesn't wanna hold it... it…"_ He sighed. " _No. You'll loosen your dress, you'll pull at my neck and we'll Break what can't be broken."_

"And what's that?"

" _Throwing the cabernet back, In a bright blue Cadillac."_ He smiled wistfully. " _You're Marilyn Monroe, And I am James Dean's heart attack."_

" _Spin me around,"_ Natasha ordered. James agreed, immediately spinning her. " _Keep me spinning around."_ He spun her three more times, pulling her to help stop her momentum as the dress spun out around her. " _Keep me swaying to the band."_ She ordered again. He could follow orders, she knew that and so did he. " _Your fingers are quivering. It's hips when you're shivering."_ She looked him up and down, only two inches from him now. " _I wanna hold your hand."_

"You are," James pointed out, floundering only slightly. "We're dancing."

"We're doing something that looks like dancing." She responded. "James, I'm half an arm away."

" _I'm kissaphobic, Don't wanna get too close to you,"_ He responded with a pant from the dancing, defiantly not from being so close to her. " _Your mouth is a hurricane. You'll down me in the rain. Shouting curses at Ursa Minor, As you beckon me to the covers."_

"I could get down with that," Natasha nodded, stepping slightly closer. " _It's cute when you do it."_

"What?"

"Blush when you look at me," She smiled. "We could be cute you know," She added a shrug to it. "Two Russian Master Assasins. I'm already sure Rogers and Parker ship us."

Bucky scoffed slightly. "They call us WinterWidow, I know," He looked down sadly. " _But Cupid is stupid. He shot the wrong lovers."_

" _Spin me around. Keep me spinning around. Keep swaying to the band,"_ She stepped closer, their touches almost touching. "Take the chance, James. It might be worth it."

He shook his head. " _You said take the chance,"_ He chuckled, melancholy. " _Take the chance. I wanna hold your hand."_ He sighed deeply. " _But I can't get too close to you my darling, can't get too close. God help me if I do, you'll leave me broken-hearted. You'll leave me stitching my lips up again. But I can't get too close to you my darling, can't get too close. God help me if I do, you'll leave me broken-hearted. You'll leave me lonely at best, lonely at best."_

"James-"

" _But I'm kissaphobic, Don't wanna get too close to you, Your mouth is a hurricane. You do this a lot now don't you baby,"_ He cleared his throat, dropping his hands from her as he stepped back, the band going to a new song. "Thank you for the dance, Natasha, it was wonderful."

"James," Natasha reached out to him only to catch nothing.


	41. Honestly

Song: Honestly (Encore) by Gabbie Hanna

Ship: None just BAMF Nat

It was pure chaos in the Avengers Tower and Natasha was sitting in a love seat, drinking her chamomile tea, just watching it. The Tower was too small for them all now, she really hoped Tony could expedite the rebuild on the Avenger's Compound. It had gotten destroyed when Dr. Doom sent bots there to destroy them all a little over a week ago.

At the moment all of them were crammed into the Tower having to share rooms. Wanda and Natasha were supposed to be bunking together, but Natasha wasn't going to out her sneaking over to Vision's room who was sharing with Sam. Tony was even letting Rhodey stay on his floor. The only ones seeming to somewhat enjoy it were Steve and Bucky who said "Please, Steve's room is almost three times as big as our first apartment was." And of course the few nights a week when Peter stopped over they all had to do a 'sleep overnight' in the commons area.

Much like tonight, otherwise, none of them would be so tightly packed and Natasha would be enjoying her tea alone in her room. Somehow, though, they weren't all yelling out their pent up frustrations at each other. They were yelling them at Natasha's ex who had stopped by looked to 'apologize' and 'talk it out' and 'work on being and us again'. This random ex-Sheild member she had decided to date had lied their entire relationship to her, cheated on her, talked crap about her, and gaslighted her. The two months she spent with Brad was three too many.

Natasha looked down at her now empty teacup and sighed. She had promised herself that when she was done she would finally say something to Brad. Now seemed as good a time as any. Still, they were all yelling so loud at each other, and at this point, each person was yelling.

Wanda was waving her hands around now speaking in her native tongue. Vision had a dictionary pulled out for some reason and was reading from it. Bucky was waving around a gun and yelling in Russian as Steve also yelled as he tried to get the gun from Bucky. Rhodey and Tony were just tearing every part of this man apart from his clothes down to his personality. And to top it off Sam and Peter were yelling 'your mom' jokes at Brad. Brad himself was trying to damnest to keep up and yelled at each and every one of them back.

The room finally went quite when Natasha's empty mug smashed against the wall on a spot near Brad's head. Everyone turned back to her with open mouths and wide eyes. Good, she had the floor. " _Cross my heart and hope to die, You never cross my fucking mind,"_ Natasha spoke calmly, her voice dripping in a deadly poison. " _Do you know what your little lies do? You know what I had to fight through."_

"Natty, dear, I told you-"

" _Nothing that you say is mildly true._ You _Spit deceit through shifty smiles, Two faces you've had for a while, You act like such a fucking child,"_ She rolled her at him with a scoff.

"Natasha, that's not who I am anymore, I did a lot of growing this past week and-"

" _Who are you now? You're so hostile to me,"_ She smiled standing. Natasha crossed her arms and slowly started to stalk over to him, thought the crowd of Avengers. "Now, _I'm feeling homicidal, you better run and try and hide."_

"Natty, now-"

" _Ooh, I was livin' in denial, Through all this time you had me riled up,"_ She let out a small laugh at him as she drew closer. " _All the shit has finally piled up. There's no chance of reconciling us. With the falsehoods I've been filing away For months, you've made these stories up._ I've been _Sick from the untruths you're throwing up."_

"Baby-"

"You _Had me thinkin' I was crazy but Turns out I'm your favorite thing to discuss-"_ Natasha was close enough now to poke him in the chest but he wouldn't let her closer, starting to walk back towards the waiting elevator behind him. " _You keep on talking, shut it up. You keep rubbing salt into the cut._ I _Broke the cycle,_ now you _need to reconstruct. You're no use to me, I'm giving up."_

She smiled at his dumbstruck face as he was for the first time in his life, stunned to silence. " _Baby, you're a loser and I'm ashamed to say I ever knew ya._ You're _A user, taking all I'd give ya. I swear to God, I'll never miss ya."_ She let out a calming breath. " _Swear to God, I haven't missed ya."_

The elevator closed, taking Brad away for good. Natasha's shoulder sagged as she let out a breath. " _God I hope I never miss ya."_

A/N: I know Gabbie is a 'controversial' creator but I just love her music.


	42. Press Conference

Ship: SteveXNat

"Next question anyone?" Tony asked the crowd of reports. The Avengers currently sat in a conference room of Avengers Tower, all sitting behind a long table as cameras below them flashed and people yelled.

Tony sat at the center with Vision and Thor next to him. The most charismatic and easy-going with the press were made to sit in the center. Next to Thor sat Clint, wearing a stupid purple mask to hide his identity, then Natasha, who wore a similarly stupid red and black mask to protect hers. It was hard, they had told the press, to be a spy when everyone knew your identity. Steve sat beside her, admittedly horrible at dealing with the press, more personal questions that always seemed to be directed at the American Hero. Besides Vision there was Sam, then Wanda and next Peter, in full Spider Suit to help hide his identity as well as his voice changer in use.

Tony was taking control of every question, making sure it was directed to someone who could actually answer it and someone who was willing to answer it. Steve and Natasha sat drawing little pictures and play tik tak toe on their end. Clint and Thor were in a pissing contest over who could hit on as many reporters as possible. Something truly hilarious when Clint upped the game by making advances on the male ones too, throwing everyone for a quick loop. Sam jumped in occasionally but was mostly in charge of making sure Wanda and Peter were staying afloat in their first press conference.

"Yes, hello, Ms. Mahomes from the KCK News Station. I was wondering if you had any more plans for the social work you Avengers have done the past year with mental illnesses?"

"Ah, yes actually, Sam?" Tony looked over at him.

"Yes, each of us as Avengers will be picking certain charities and foundations to raise money for and will be making donations of our own in mid-June. The plans are still underway, so I'm not really at liberty to say what we will be doing, whether it will be a group marathon of some sort or more individually done, however, mental illness is a for front of something we all think about on a near-daily basis," Sam answered. "And of course VA visits will maintain a constant from each of us."

"Are any of you personally effected by any mental illnesses that you are willing to speak on now?" Ms. Mahomes followed.

"Actually," Wanda jumped onto the answer before Tony could deflect it. "I myself as well as most on the team, have at one point suffered from PTSD. I grew up in capture after my home was destroyed in a bombing as well as the loss of my brother." She took a deep breath. "It is things like these that haunt us at night and give us night terrors, but it is also these that make us fight, train, and go into fights."

"Night Terrors?"

"Yes," Wanda answered. "I know in past conferences such as these, The Black Widow herself has spoken on them." She looked over to Natasha who nodded at her to continue. "I mean, there are nights when we get no sleep or wake up screaming. I know I have, as well as Widow herself. I've walked only near her floor and have heard her screaming and moaning out in the night from nightmares. However, I know I do not have to worry since our Captian is there with her, helping her through them."

Natasha's eyes widened looking over to Wanda as Clint fought back laughter.

Sam grabbed Wanda's forearm, whispering in her ear as the crowd of reporters began to chatter and take more pictures.

Wanda's eyes widened as she went back to the microphone. "He is with her because they room together since Widow is under him at all times and-" This time, Peter pulled her back, whispering to her as Steve pinched his brows. "Excuse my poor English I am still working on learning your langue more fluently. I mean to say that Captian Rogers and Black Widow share the same floor since they are partners and-"

"Captian Rogers and I," Natasha growled over her speaker as Clint burst into laughter next to her. "Are first and second in command. We share a floor, work together, and train together. I trust Captian Rogers, and any and all Avengers, with my life. That is all I will say on this topic. Next question."

A hand of bright, annoying, and all too familiar blonde popped up. "Yes, Captian Rogers, is there any special person in your life? One that might jeopardize your ranking as top Bachelor?"

Steve sighed deeply into the mic. "No comment."

The room exploded in a new flurry of questions and photograph flashes.


	43. Cartoons and Vodka

Song: Cartoons and Vodka by Jinkx

Ship: Steve and Nat

"When was the last time we gave her a few days?" Fury whispered to Hill outside his office. Inside Natasha had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for her debriefing. Sometimes it could take Fury hours to get to her, but he had just told her to wait a moment while he ran to the bathroom. That was five minutes ago when she was wide awake.

"Let me see," Hill pulled up Natasha's year of missions and leave upon her Stark Pad. "Well, she had off Christmas with all the other Avengers. She also put in for the 1st of the year off with them, but we had that Hyrda attack they had to take care of. Then she had a month-long mission. After that, she asked for a few days but we had that quick mission we sent her on turn into a two-month-long mission…" She hummed scrolling through the calendar. "It's November right?"

"Yes."

"Great," Hill closed the app to pull up the documents for the debrief. "She has had one, half-day, off all year."

Fury shook his head. "She's going to get two weeks off, longer if nothing comes up, understand?"

"Putting it in now," Hill answered with a smile. "She deserves it. Never even complained."

"I'm willing to bet complaining in the Red Room would have cost her her life," He opened the door stepping in front of her. "Natasha." He snapped.

Natasha jumped to sitting blinking her eyes quickly. "And that's how the mission ended sir."

"You were just asleep, Romanoff," Hill fought back a smile.

Natasha shook the last of her nap from her mind. "I was? Sorry, sir, it won't happen again."

"You're taking leave, two weeks to start with," Fury ordered. "Send me your debrief for this mission by the end of the week." He turned from her going to his desk and sitting. "Go home, Romanoff."

Natasha was practically dragging herself through the Tower by the time she got home. She was relieved for some time off, she doubted she'd get the full two weeks, but even two days would be helpful. She wasn't a machine. She wasn't brainwashed anymore. There was only so much her body could do before it fell apart. She pulled out her favorite comfort items. Bruce's slippers, Tony's pajama pants, Steve's shirt, and a blanket she stole from Clint's farm. Throwing her hair up in a bun she waddled to the common area where everyone was sitting. She felt unbelievably comfortable. After spending what seemed like months in a catsuit in heels, to be in something that was soft and loose around her was like laying in a cloud. She padded over to the kitchen, grabbing cups she plopped them down on the coffee table, getting everyone's attention.

"Well don't you look comfy," Stark smirked.

"Nat," Bruce greeted as she put a cup in front of everyone. "It seems like we haven't seen you all year."

"Yeah," Steve agreed. "Fury's been working you pretty damn hard hasn't he?"

"Langue," She mumbled.

"You look just exhausted," Tony told her.

She turned from them, going and grabbing two bottles of vodka before walking back to plop down on the couch next to Steve.

"So much for a quiet night," Steve shook his head as Natasha undid the lid and began gulping from the bottle.

"I'm changing it," She called reaching for the remote.

"Please do," Thor nearly begged. "Lord Tony has been making us watch House Flipping shows for the entire night."

Natasha turned on cartoon network, sinking further into her seat as a new episode of _Adventure Time_ began, holding the bottle to her lips as she let herself fall into a blissful numbness.

"Are those my pants?" Tony asked her. "Those are my pants, I thought they got lost in the wash. And those are the fuzzy green slippers I gave Brucy."

"Calm down Stark," Steve said sinking down next to Natasha, throwing an arm over her shoulder in return Natasha spread the blanket over both of them. "She's wearing my shirt and you don't see me freaking out."

"That's 'cause you're dating her," Tony snapped. "Isn't that Clint's blanket?"

"Have you stolen anything of mine?" Thor asked hurt.

"I took your jacket," She told him, drinking the bottle of vodka like it was a beer. "It's just not cold enough for me to wear."

"Theif," Tony accused. "Give those back right now."

" _Baby I've been stompin' around in these heels for all the goddamn day,_ " She lulled her head to him, her exhaustion turning to rage. " _I got aches and annoyance from living to earn my pay,_ which normal people have to do, Stark. _Yet some peace and quiet from you would really go a long way. So ease it down?"_

"Geez," He sat up straight. "What crawled up your ass?"

" _You see I'm tired, I'm spent,"_ She sat up matching him. " _I'm really feeling my age. You know life is twice as hard when you're living half on the stage_ pretending to be different people for missions. _And I barely have the energy to sing you this song._ " She let out a huff. " _So let's get some cartoons and Vodka And do 'em all night long."_

"You're no fun," He rolled his eyes.

" _Oooh boy, are you ready for some fun?"_ She smirked, cheering her bottle to him. " _Drink 'em down."_

"Aren't you supposed to be the mature one, Nat?" Bruce chuckled.

" _You can call me juvenile,"_ She shrugged, settling back into her seat. " _But I'm picky on how I spend my time._ _Don't you know, it takes two crates of makeup to go out lookin' this fine."_

Steve just scoffed. "That isn't true."

"The point is," She responded. " _I don't work these nails to the bone to hear you squabble and whine, So help me out,_ and let's just… chill."

It was about two hours later when Natasha rolled her head to rest on Steve's shoulder, her mouth to his ear as she whispered to him. " _You better believe that I'm hot, I'm wet."_ He gulped. " _And it's really not fair, Takes more than a tall cool glass of you, there honey, to bring me up for air. And I've been too blown to rest these bones for a long country mile."_

" _So let's get some cartoons and Vodka,"_ Steve whispered back. " _And put 'em on for a while_ back in our bedroom?"

"I'm down."

"Me too."

"Night guys," Natasha jumped up, yawning. "Steve and I are going to bed."

" _Oooh boy, now gimme some of that smile,"_ Steve smiled, pulling her close in their bed. " _Drink 'em down, drink 'em down, drink 'em down."_


End file.
